Afternoonified

Afternoonified Podcast

Hosts Emily and Sara attempt to understand the weirder aspects of science, history, and the paranormal using their best coping mechanism...comedy

Cannibalism
Afternoonified goes full Sorry Not Sorry as Emily takes the lead for her own mystery topic. Things are pretty icky as the girls discuss the usage of corpse medicine, the history of cannibalism in ancient man, and yes...Jeffrey Dahmer. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

Twins
Sara and Emily agreed to surprise each other with topics and Sara chose...three creepy stories about twins. There's a small touch of science, a lot of air quotes and use of the word "allegedly," as we explore the Jim Twins, the Pollock Twins, and June & Jennifer Gibbons. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

Cats (w/ Sara Iyer)
It's a Catacular episode featuring the cattiest human we could think of! Sara Iyer of The Purrrcast joins in to talk about how cats came to be pets, why they were gods, and how to make a really, really good soup. Come for the guest host, stay for the political banter and cat mayors. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....


As Above, So Below Commentary
They didn't make it, they weren't in it, they didn't even sell popcorn at theaters that were showing it. Regardless, Emily and Sara have recorded an audio commentary for the 2014 horror film, As Above, So Below. Please don't sue us, Ben Feldman. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

Catacombs
IT'S REALLY HAPPENING! Emily finally gets to take everyone on a tour of a handful of famous catacombs. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll...find out what the pelvis room is connected to. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

Extinct (??) Animals
Sara has gathered a handful of animals that once were and are no more...or are they? There's talk of mammoths in Siberia, millions of birds and Emily does some research on what Tasmania has to offer the world. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....


Ghost Ships (w/ Thinking Sideways' Joe)
Emily and Sara admitted that, much like Jon Snow, they know nothing about ships and invited Joe from the wildly popular Thinking Sideways podcast to come help them out. There's tales of frozen bodies, Kraken attacks, and possibly even pirates! Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

The Bloody Benders
Grab your boots and hitch up the covered wagon, we're going west! or at least as far west as Labette County, Kansas where a mysterious family caused a whole lot of trouble and really messed up an orchard. It's the Bender family! Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

Bog Bodies
Come with us... and you'll be...in a world of accidental mummification It's bog bodies! Sara got the deets on some of the more famous preserved corpses dragged out of bogs. Meanwhile, Emily doesn't handle information well. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....


Cannabis: A Lesson in History
In what can only be described as a lapse in judgment, Emily ate an edible and tried to do an episode. Most of the history is here along with a discussion about King Arthur, Christmas during World War I, and some tips on how to not get kidnapped by a bigfoot. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

A History of Tabletop RPGs
With a topic of this magnitude, a third party had to be called in. Shane Hosea joins the ladies to talk about how Dungeons & Dragons came to be...and all the drama after that. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

April Fool's Day
In a very special bonus episode, Emily and Sara explore the origins of this holiday for jerks. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....


The House on the Rock
Emily requested, Sara delivered. It's an episode all about one of the more mysterious roadside attractions in the US. Listen as Sara describes the alleged history and contents of the house while Emily descends slowly into madness trying to process it all! Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

Vampires of the World
Amidst other discussions about what constitutes as cannibalism and the concept of a Jason Momoa/Lady Gaga Freaky Friday remake, Emily manages to tell Sara all about the lesser known varieties of Vampires. From the Carribean to Thailand, there's something gross for everyone! Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

National Parks Disappearances
There's a conspiracy a(big)foot and the word bullsh-t gets thrown about a lot. Disclaimer: we’re a comedy podcast, and also we think David Paulides is a hack so if you don’t want to listen to us dunk on him for an hour, then maybe don’t bother. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more at http://getafternoonified.com This podcast is powered by Pinecast....


Barbie
Emily and Sara learn about Barbie's weird German origins, how many jobs she's had, and how many members of the Roberts family there really are. There's also dumb games, Emily forgets how to read and the girls pitch their Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse fancast. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

The Winter Holiday Special
There's more to December than just Christmas, you know. In an effort to shed some light on other holidays, the girls set Christmas aside and get to the bottom of what else people are celebrating. They even take some cues from them and workshop their own holiday. Support Afternoonified by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/afternoonified Find out more on the Afternoonified website. This podcast is powered by Pinecast....

The Winter Holiday Special
There's more to December than just Christmas, you know. In an effort to shed some light on other holidays, the girls set Christmas aside and get to the bottom of what else people are celebrating. They even take some cues from them and workshop their own holiday....


Crybaby Bridges
Ryan tries her hand at the paranormal this week with chilling stories of baby ghosts, murder victims, and a colony of melonheads. There's a whole lot about this strange urban legend and almost as many random tangents that Emily gets set off on....

Area 51
It's the 51st episode and there was pretty much only one thing our consciences would let us do for this! Skepticism is abound as Emily and Ryan try to explain the timeline and some of the conspiracies surrounding this government facility. Because that's what it is...a f*cking government test facility....

Professional Wrestling: 2 Shane 2 Hosea
SHANE HOSEA IS BACK! It's also our official 50th episode, but that's a little less exciting. Shane makes good on his promise to return and learn us a few more things about the world of professional wrestling. Spoiler: We found out what The Rock was cookin'. It's not great....


Weird Animal Behavior
Why do cats purr and dogs poop north? How do birds know where to go? Do Elephants REALLY practice their own religion? For once, we can answer the hard questions and we're gonna fill you in on these and more weird animal behaviors! Think of us as your own personal David Attenboroughs....

Cheese
It's not all farts, disease, and skeletons here at Afternoonified. That's why we decided to class it up and offer a crash course on how the best food in existence is made. There's history, there's wine pairings, there's...fart noises, actually....

Leprosy
Afternoonified is back after the summer break! Prepare to get yourself good and grossed out as you learn what the hell leprosy actually is and why you probably won't catch it. The ladies take a trip to Flavortown, Emily burns herself trying to make dinner, and everything kind of goes off the rails!...


The Stanley Hotel
Emily makes a case for the spirits inhabiting a very famous hotel. Come for the story of how Stephen King wrote The Shining, stay for theories about...rocks, I guess. There's cowboys, explosions and ghost maids this week in The Stanley Hotel!...

Rabies
Things are weirder than usual as Ryan guides a severely jet-lagged Emily through the ins and outs of America's favorite disease (right? That's a thing isn't it?)....

The Holy Grail
In the newest installment of "Emily Yells About Religion" the ladies explore the fabled cup that isn't actually a cup. There's knights! There's poor French pronunciation! We even have some dick metaphors because that's all old timey literature really is! Come quest with Emily and Ryan as they try to figure out why the grail is a big deal!...


Bigfoot
Discussion about the Pacific Northwest's most famous resident leads Emily and Ryan to... a lot of things. Including but not limited to, sheep pubes, anthropology, and general mocking of Bigfoot "scholars." Beware ye who enter: This episode contains light audio issues....

H. H. Holmes' Murder Castle
The votes are in and Afternoonified is giving the people what they want! Even if what they want is a story riddled with skeletons, greased chutes, and an admittedly impressive mustache. Emily and Ryan are exploring the architectural hopes and dreams of America's most murderous walrus...H.H. Holmes!...

Strange Sounds
The girls finally take on a topic that's perfectly suited for a non-visual medium! The problem? It's one of the creepiest and unsettling things they've done yet. Come hear Saturn scream, a demon take over a radio station, and other strange and unexplained sounds!...


Mummies
The dead bodies are back with a vengeance this week with an episode that makes young Emily's heart flutter. It's mummies! The kind that were made on purpose...so set aside your curiosity about bog bodies (for now) and settle in for a talk about ancient Egypt, some mud-coated South Americans, and a rousing game of "Show Me the Mummy!"...

Tulpas
The ladies take on the mystery of creating thoughtform entities, what the f*ck that has to do with bronies, and why you can't rely on a tumblr post to give you all the info. Oh, and Emily has a soundboard. It's weird....

Cereal: Origins
Ryan wanted to see how the cereal was made and Emily obliged. In this episode the girls discuss old-timey ways of keeping folks from jerkin it and how that relates to our friend, Tony the Tiger. It's Grrrrrrreat!...


Human Experimentation and the Nazis
It's a new season and the ladies are back to their old antics. This week they cover a requested topic that should make everyone feel a little bit icky...Nazi scientists and human experimentation! Hold on to your butts, kids, it's gonna get rough....

Lesser Known Deities Live! (With Caitlin Weierhauser & Mohanad Elsheiky)
In a very special live recording of Afternoonified, Ryan has photos of gaping vaginas, Emily is holiday drunk, and their guests are literally the funniest people in Portland. They may even get around to the topic at hand, obscure gods and goddesses for all your worshipping needs!...

Haunted Dolls
With the help of friend and other Ryan, Ryan Marsh, Emily sets out to explore a topic that she hates with all her heart. There's human hair, Australian marionettes from hell, and something that you should NEVER try at home. It's Haunted Doll Week at Afternoonified and we're sorry....


Professional Wrestling (w/ Shane Hosea & Chris Khatami)
Very special guests Shane Hosea and Chris Khatami fill in for Ryan and try to explain something Emily has always wanted to learn about...professional wrestling. There's puns, a surprisingly deep history lesson, and more fun than you can shake a roided out, spandex wearing stick at!...

Weird Genes
The ladies are turning the weirdness up to eleven this week with a discussion about how it's not your fault that Cilantro tastes like soap. They also cover the tale of the Lobster Boy, blue people and a number of ways in which your family can betray you!...

Exorcisms
Determined to deliver the spooky goods in time for Halloween, Ryan and Emily bridge the physical distance between them to discuss the intricacies of Exorcism. Find out how to tell if someone is housing a demon, learn where to find the best value in an online exorcism school and a bunch of other stuff!...


Roanoke
Emily and Ryan start their October off on a spooky note with a tale of horror, mystery, and potential cannibalism! They might not discover the actual fate of the lost colony of Roanoke, but they have a hell of a time trying to sift through the theories....

Crime Scene Cleanup
What happens when the evidence is collected and the medical examiner rolls out? Someone has to be in charge of the brain bits, blood stains, and mounds of liquifying human flesh and we know it's not gonna be us. This week on Afternoonified, Emily and Ryan take a look at the world of professional crime scene cleaners!...

Spontaneous Human Combustion
Heavily requested and finally tackled, Ryan and Emily are here to try and explain spontaneous human combustion and why it probably won't happen to you....


Cults Vol. II (w/ Shane Hosea)
Everyone loves a sequel! At least, the girls hope you do because in this episode they dig a little deeper into the world of Cults with their guest, Shane Hosea. Prepare for Aliens, Vampires, and an unsettling amount of butt stuff....

Mermaids
Ryan and Emily invite their friend, actor Bryan Bernart, into the conference room to discuss the origins of a pop culture phenomena. Join them as they try so hard to stay on topic and recount tales (and tails) of everyone's favorite undersea creature, the Mermaid!...


Attraction
The realm of attraction and sexuality is a weird one, to say the least. Of course, weirdness isn’t going to stop Ryan and Emily from trying to understand the ins and outs of fetishes and other such things. This week isn’t for the faint of heart, but the girls are doing their best!...

Marian Apparitions
You've heard about Jesus in a piece of toast...now try The Virgin Mary in the sky! No seriously, since the beginning of the Catholic church there have been reports of people seeing and speaking to the Holy Virgin all over the place. This week Emily gets mad at religion once more as she regales stories of Marian sightings while Ryan lends her atheist cynicism....

The Sh*t Show
Against Emily's better judgement, Ryan takes the wheel and leads everyone on a journey through the wonders and horrors of human excrement. Learn the proper terminology, find out what a healthy poo is supposed to look like and what to keep an eye out for. It's a real Sh*t show this week on Afternoonified and we hope you still like us when this is over....


Poltergeist
There's more to poltergeists than ancient Native American burial grounds and that guy from Coach. Ryan and Emily get into the hierarchy of spirits, how to spot a fraud, and why you can't blame all your crap on witches...even in America....

Obscure Mental Illnesses
Even with today's medical advances, we're still discovering new and exciting things that the brain is capable of doing. Of course, with that comes new and less exciting ways that the brain can short circuit and cause problems for it's owner/operator. This week the ladies take a look at a few mental illnesses that you may not have heard of or that are often misunderstood....

Mortuary Science
We all have to face the fact that we're going to die someday. When that does happen, there's a lot of things that happen to our bodies before we can be officially laid to rest. What are those things? We're going to tell you....


Sleep Paralysis
So you think sleeping is fun... well, Emily & Ryan are here to tell you about one of the most horrifying things that can happen to you while you're off in dreamland. Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon that is not only a nightmare in itself, but the explaination for a lot of suspect goings on in the realm of the paranormal....

Disney Parks
In a very special episode of Afternoonified, Emily gets the chance to talk endlessly about the magic and mystery of the Disney Parks while Ryan doesn't believe that the monorail is still operational....

Color Theory
Ever wonder why you can see blue-green but not red-green? Maybe you need to know what colors to wear to attract the ladies (or gentlemen). Ryan and Emily are here for you with everything you could ever need to know about how color works...or at least a some of what you need to know!...


Cults
Ever wonder if you might be in a cult? Maybe you want to know if you have what it takes to start your own religion and gain the trust of your followers. Emily and Ryan are here to help you with those questions, among other things you weren't aware you wanted to know....

The Winchester Mystery House (w/ Nicole Broder)
Afternoonified is back for season two! This week the girls interview former tour guide, Nicole Broder, about the inner workings and resident spirits of the architectural enigma, The Winchester Mystery House!...

Christmas Traditions
In the final episode of 2016, Emily & Ryan fight snowfall and the black death to bring you the background on some of the most beloved Christmas traditions as well as traditions from other countries....


Presidential Curses
In a vaguely timely episode, Ryan & Emily explore American history and the curses that have plagued the position of Commander in Chief since the 1800's. It's an episode full of murder, intrigue, and Jody Foster?...

Fearsome Critters
Sure, you've heard about Bigfoot, Nessie, and the Yeti, but what about Hodags, Squonks, and the difficult to catch Whiffenpoof? Tales of these strange creatures have been told for generations, passed down from America's early lumberjacks and loggers and this week our hosts take a good look at those stories....

Salem Witch Trials
On the long list of terrible things to happen in the United States, there is one whose cause remains a sort of mystery. In the centuries since the Salem Witch Trials occurred, historians and scientists have come up with many theories as to what caused this town to lose its collective mind....


The Ouija Board Demon
Ouija boards haven't always been a game that you whip out at slumber parties to ask about your love life. Their history goes back over a hundred years to a time when they were taken very seriously. If what Ryan and Emily have dug up is true, they should be taken very, very seriously....

Ghost Lights
In some form or another, cultures across the globe have stories of something known as Ghost Lights. These floating balls of light have been showing up for hundreds of years in places like England, Asia, and, The United States. What causes this phenomenon? Are they actually ghosts or can science step in?...

Pirates
We all have an idea of what a pirate is… parrots, rum and a lot of catchy slang. Real-life pirates didn’t actually have a lot of the quirks we’ve given them over the years in books and movies, though. This week we shed some light on these wild seafarers!...


Pica
Ever wonder why people on certain reality TV shows are addicted to eating toilet cleaner or drywall? What about the man who ate an entire plane? In this episode we take a deeper look at the cause, a condition known as Pica....

Cursed Films
Horror films have entertained and terrified the masses for almost a century. But what happened behind the scenes of some of the most famous horror films? Should people really be messing with stories of demons and destruction?...

Disappearances
Sometimes when a person goes missing, we can assume what happened and sometimes the circumstances are so strange that we have no idea at all. Our hosts take a look at some of the stranger cases and see what they can turn up....


Things You Didn't Need to Know About Classical Composers
How can some of the greatest classical composers of all time inspire our hosts to start referring to the genre as “crass-ical music” or to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart as Mozfart? (We promise it isn’t exclusively because of our immaturity.) Find out why on this week’s episode, where we delve into the deep, dark, little-known secrets of some of the best musicians in history....

Graveyards
Graveyards have long been tied to superstition and have a history and subculture all their own. Join the Afternoonified team as we delve into the secrets of the cemetery....

The Death of Rasputin
Known during his life as a holy man, a healer, and The Mad Monk, Grigori Rasputin spent his life developing one hell of a reputation. That reputation led to his eventual assassination, but the road to Rasputin's death wasn't a quick one. How did The Mad Monk manage to stay alive through poisoning and gunfire? (We apologize for the audio in this episode. There were some technical difficulties that we're working to resolve.)...


Incorruptible Saints
All across Europe, churches are displaying the corpses of Catholic saints. Why are these bodies so special? They're what's considered by the church to be "Incorruptible". What's keeping these sleeping beauties so fresh? Is divine intervention at play or did science step in? Afternoonified is here with some theories!...