Aunt Zelda and Me and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette

Aunt Zelda and Me and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette Podcast

Aunt Zelda and Me and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. It's supposed to be about us watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but honestly it's probably going to digress into deep unwanted discussions about my love life.

The Finale and Dillon's Breakup (feat. My Cousin Eric)
WOW what a way to cap off a freakin' SEASON. My cousin Eric guest stars Uncle Floyd's mom visits him in a dream. Aunt Zelda breaks down what actually makes a relationship. Dillon dives into his recent love life...development... bringing the podcast season FULL CIRCLE. Eric confesses his love for the Australia Uluru....

Madison Theories, Cyber Bullying, and Nominating Uncle Floyd (ft. My Friend Allie)
My friend Allie guest stars. Uncle Floyd threatens Dillon with cement shoes. Aunt Zelda explains that Hannah Ann is a neutral choice. Allie reveals her theories on why Kelley was missing. Dillon begs to nominate Uncle Floyd for the show. We all wonder wtf the rules are for Listen to Your Heart. This episode is sponsored by Carl Cloak's Coats....

Fingers in the Butt and Madison Misses the Point (ft. My Friend Shosh)
My friend Shosh guest stars. Aunt Zelda admits she hated Uncle Floyd's temporary tattoo. Uncle Floyd tells Dillon about the perfect girl he found for him. Shosh reveals she would only date a virgin if they had been in a coma. Dillon won't stop bringing up that he was punched in the face. And we all respect fingers in the butt. This episode is brought to you by Inconsistent Contact....


Bustin' Nuts and Love is Criticism (ft. My Friend Akmal)
My friend Akmal guest stars. Aunt Zelda enlightens us about how "there's no such thing as too much coming." Uncle Floyd comes clean about the criticism he receives from Aunt Zelda. Akmal makes it clear that no one should ever make a list of things they like about him. Dillon mourns Kelley. This podcast was brought to you by Love Compass....

Disney Adults and The Girls Attack (feat. My Friend Michael)
My friend Michael guest stars. Aunt Zelda is sick of people playing the victim. Dillon realizes he's more popular than toothpaste. Michael vehemently defends adults who love Disney. And we all miss Uncle Floyd. This podcast is brought to you by Zombie Spray and Cleveland, OH....


Alayah Drama and Binders Full of Women (ft. My Friend Michael)
My friend Michael guest stars. Aunt Zelda teaches us about Jewish Christmas. Uncle Floyd realizes he is the target audience for girls pillow fighting. Michael finally gets answers for his comedy sketch. Dillon finds out he is a hot crier. And we all agree that Kelly's got it all. This podcast is sponsored by The Delta-Sky Mile High Club Rewards Club Membership Card and Linger-y...

Uncle Floyd's Self Love and Jordan Kimball Slid into Dillon's DMs (ft. My Friend Toni)
My friend Toni guest stars. Aunt Zelda snitches about my ratty little secret from when I was younger. Uncle Floyd reminisces about how his family used to tattle tell on Aunt Zelda before they were married. Toni compares love in San Francisco and New York. And Dillon blushes over Jordan Kimball sliding into his DMs during the show!!!!!! This episode is brought to you by Tissues and ChampagneFiller....

Dillon's Break Up and Uncle Floyd's Sleeping with a Sponsor
Ya' boys is baaaaaaaaack! Aunt Zelda dives into how to deal with what happens during the break period if you and an ex get back together. Uncle Floyd admits that he's sleeping with a sponsor! I find out I should always tell my girlfriend I've paid full price for a gift. And we all wonder wtf Hannah B is still doing here!!!! Sponsored by: Ex-Terminator...


Down for a Threesome and Timing is Everything (ft. My Friend Caroline)
Aunt Zelda reveals the cornerstone of a relationship. Uncle Floyd refuses to let me forget where I first lived in New York City. Caroline admits being smelly is a dealbreaker. I get real about my struggles with communication in my relationship. The podcast is sponsored by 55+ Communities and The One Cologne....

Double Standard Demi and Nicole Knows I Exist (ft. My Friend Jake)
My friend Jake guest stars (again!). Uncle Floyd tells me to grow TF up. Aunt Zelda admits her love and respect for Clay. Jake refuses to talk to us about Nicole, but damn do we try. I reveal that I once tasted chemicals for a living...which I guess explains a lot? This episode is sponsored by Himalayan Yak Dog Chew, Steroids, and FlightsToBirmingham.net....

Sleaze Bag Blake and My First Paradise (ft. My Mom)
My Mom guest stars for my first Bachelor in Paradise episode. Aunt Zelda reveals she invited her ex to her wedding. Uncle Floyd brags about Aunt Zelda's shoe collection. My mom refuses to answer questions about "hooking up" in front of me. I realize Cam and 19 year old me are the same person and everything starts to click... This podcast was sponsored by Blue Chew and Bobby Bad's Bad Breath Balls....


My Ego and Uncle Floyd's 16 Wives (ft. My Brother Jordan)
My brother Jordan guest stars. Aunt Zelda drops some knowledge on Hannah's transformation. Uncle Floyd thanks everyone for letting him into their bedroom (???!!!). Jordan explains why he thinks Hannah and Tyler will not make it. I explore my ego and if I'm "man enough" to put it aside. We all decide I'm the "Jed" of the family...WTF. This episode is sponsored by Uncle Floyd's Fuck Room Glasses and High Heel-less High Heels....

Woman Mounds and Windmills (ft. My Friend Maddie)
My friend Maddie guest stars. Aunt Zelda breaks down becoming husband material, but someone disagrees... Uncle Floyd reveals his secret to having the most beautiful skin in New York City.  Maddie talks about being swoon by an erotic poem. I get a little heated about how manipulative Jed is being.   This podcast is sponsored by Uncle Floyd's Mound Potions, Jobs, and Windmill Peter....

Fuck Suites and Fighting For Love: Aunt Zelda and Me Tell All (ft. Uncle Floyd)
You asked, we answered. Aunt Zelda and Me join the boys on this episode and tell all!!! Uncle Floyd airs his thoughts on Fantasy Suites and what they should really be called. I did some deep diving into my previous relationship... Aunt Zelda reveals her favorite guest thus far! And...lots, lots more. This episode is sponsored by Floyd’s ED Meds, Just Doin’ Our Pest, and TommyTranslator....


Sex Class, Drildos, and Absolving Your Identity (ft. My Prom Date Emily)
My prom date Emily guest stars. Aunt Zelda admits that Pilot Pete's Mercedes is BETTER than Uncle Floyd's T-Tops. Uncle Floyd proves that he is a public speaker.  Emily refuses to be swooned by Paul McCartney...but is swooned by Labe. And I reveal the secret to my heart--Ice cream. We all discuss what it means to take someone's last name when you get married. This episode was sponsored by Rob Thomas, AnyHome, STAIRS, and Planned Parenthood....

Bloody Marys, Isis, and My Beautiful Hands (ft. My Friend Quintin and Uncle Floyd)
My friend Quintin guest stars. Aunt Zelda finds out what THOT mouth is. Uncle Floyd takes on racial inequality in New York City and on The Bachelorette. Quintin outs every gay man in Hollywood. I discover my one true destiny: to become a hand model.  This podcast is sponsored by Alexatives, Grand Children for Aunt Zelda, Fake Limes, and Me....


Gas Lighting, Marriage, and Taking the Leap (ft. My Girlfriend Julie)
Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd are BACK BABY! My girlfriend Julie guest stars. We all explore Cognitive Behavioral Therapy... Uncle Floyd talks about fate and why he's never on time. Aunt Zelda is becoming suspicious of Jed. Julie admits what "serenades" her. I've gained just a wee-bit of respect for Luke P.  This episode is sponsored by Pancakes, Pedro's Anchovies, Angry Birds the Movie II, UNCLE FLOYD HUMAN MEGAPHONE, and a Sad Ad....

This Podcast's for THE BOYS (ft. My Friend Margaret, My Friend Michael)
My friend Margaret and Michael guest star. Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd are STILL on vacation! (Cool thanks, guys!) I reveal how my family is literally the cause of the end of humanity. Michael claims Conor S. made a "bitch" move. Margaret breaks down Hannah's autonomy over her own body. We all do this podcast for THE BOYS. This episode is sponsored by Mike's Matcha, Pancakes, Stanley's Dick Cream, Ed Williamson the Pirate, and MF Panty Police....

My Mom and Dad and Me and The Bachelorette (Ft. My Mom and My Dad)
My mom and dad guest star. Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd are NO WHERE TO BE FOUND THIS WEEK as they are on vacation with their son and LEFT ME ALONE. My dad admits the first thing he ever said to my mom was a lie. My mom breaks down what she thinks the secret is to a relationship that stands the test of time. I find out Aunt Zelda is the only reason I exist. And we all talk straight trash to Luke P! This episode is sponsored by Browser Buddy, PickPocket Pocket Protector, Red Apron, and The Cheese Cheese....


Sex, Edging, and Release the Rugby Tapes (ft. My Friend Marcus)
My friend Marcus guest stars. Aunt Zelda TRASHES our sponsors. Uncle Floyd exposes WAYYYYY too much info about his sex life with Aunt Zelda. I push ABC to release the rugby tapes! Marcus kindly teaches Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd about edging... This podcast is sponsored by WATER HOLDER, Soup Farmers of America, Poopify, Spirit Airlines, and Glue on Lips....

C-sections, Pornhub and Perverted Moils (ft. My Roommate Max)
Welp...The title says it all...but in case it doesn't: My roommate Max guest stars. Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd breakdown Aunt Zelda's birthing process--and no one can censor Uncle Floyd. I talk about if Luke can ever bounce back from that conversation with Hannah. Max reveals he was a c-section baby and we DO NOT let him forget it. This podcast is sponsored by Joann's Pizza, Fake Fun Facts, Your Mother's Tuna, Ed's Spicy Mayo, and Pornville....

Good Humps and Hand Jobs (ft. My Friend Aaron)
My friend Aaron guest stars. Aunt Zelda puts the "urban" in "suburban." I confess my love for John Paul Jones and tell the origin of how I became a sock-sleeper. Aaron admits his love for Stephanie, and explains why eating fish from a toaster is a deal MAKER. UNCLFE FLOYD GOES MISSING?!?!  This episode sponsored by Bob's Crab Shack, Exterminator's Exterminator, Jim Tucker LLC, Attorney Edward Solomon Esq, Pants Finder....


My Brothers and Aunt Zelda and Me (ft. My Brothers Ian and Jordan, Uncle Floyd)
My brothers Jordan and Ian guest star in this very family finale!! Aunt Zelda and Me round off the season pondering the qualifications of love. Uncle Floyd reveals his AZAM studio work policy and it's... well... Just listen. Jordan gets his redemption story. Ian somehow has only seen two episodes but KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW??? WTF....

F*ck Trucks and Uncle Floyd Acts in a Porno (ft. My Friend Mick, Uncle Floyd)
My friend Mick guest stars. Aunt Zelda explains what a fuck truck is... (Honestly, I probably don't need a description after that line, but...) Dillon tells why the Bachelor does NOT need fixing. Uncle Floyd describes his VERY WEIRD "acting career". Mick breaks down her stressful night on Project Runway....


Aunt Zelda and Me Tell All (ft. Uncle Floyd)
Too many teeth, thermometers, and Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd's RAUNCHY-ASS relationship. Aunt Zelda and Me Tell All in this very special episode as we answer your most pressing questions. Uncle Floyd, well, he tells all too....

Aunt Zelda Threw Up at Her Proposal (ft. My Sister-in-law Jess, Uncle Floyd)
My sister-in-law Jess guest stars. Aunt Zelda and Uncle Floyd reveal the secret to a long marriage--intimidation. Uncle Floyd speculates how Colton ACTUALLY chooses between the girls...and it's, well, weird. Jess reveals why her prom was so delicious. And I find out about the hierarchy of date nights......




Aunt Zelda Dated a Murderer (Final Rose)
Oh, it's been a journey, but we're bringing it home. Aunt Zelda dishes about her relationship with a murderer. Aunt Zelda and Me help each other through our final rose emotions (because wtf happened, Blake?) and about my personal emotions towards maybe having found love on my 10 week bachelorette journey. Thanks for listening and (hopefully) we'll be back for season 2!...


Pussy Cats and Past Flings (w/ Double UFAs)
Uncle Floyd reveals his preference between sad and happy puppies. Aunt Zelda dishes the deep romantic details of how her and Uncle Floyd came to be. I almost reconnect with two past flings....

Team Blecca and Aunt Zelda's Stripper Party
Team Blake and Becca all the way, baby! I am blind sided by Becca's choice to go with Jason over Wills, as well as Aunt Zelda's juicy life details that she hasn't been sharing......


Sex Bombs and Softies
Aunt Zelda reveals her Sex Bomb of the Week and won't stop calling me out for becoming "verklempt" (as she puts it)....


The Bachelorette Premier
Aunt Zelda and me dig into the 2-hour premier of The Bachelorette. Aunt Zelda expertly helps me navigate my sad love life....