Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People Podcast

1 phone call. 1 hour. No names. No holds barred. Thats the premise behind Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People, hosted by comedian Chris Gethard (the Chris Gethard Show, Broad City, This American Life, and one of Time Outs 10 best comedians of 2015). Every week, Chris opens the phone line to one anonymous caller, and he cant hang up first, no matter what. From shocking confessions and family secrets to philosophical discussions and shameless self-promotion, anything can and will happen! Theme song by Shellshag.

154. My Dad Owns A Strip Club
A few years ago, this caller took a job working at her dad’s strip club. There were duffel bags full of cash and other shady stuff. She thought showing tolerance for her father’s demons might help him understand her own, but things didn’t turn out as expected.This episode is brought to you by Drop (https://b.ewd.io/Beautiful)....

153. Car Crash
Years later, this caller still hears the sounds of the tragic car accident he survived. He tells Geth how he won’t let the trauma of the crash revive the anxiety he overcame in his younger days. They also talk about an internet dating experience that turned into something like a Black Mirror episode.This episode is brought to you by OkCupid, eero (www.eero.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL), and Dexter Guff is Smarter Than You podcast....

152. Love At First [blank]
A blind caller tells Geth his touching internet-era love story & explains why he considers himself a visual learner.This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Dexter Guff is Smarter Than You podcast....


151. The King of Silver Linings
A stress-free 34 year old who loves what he does for a living has to decide what to eat for lunch.This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL)....

150. Meta Millennial
A social media manager slash graphic designer pitches her podcast & gives Gethard instagram advice.This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, Calm (www.calm.com/beautiful), OkCupid, and Terrible, Thanks for Asking podcast....

149. RINO
Raised by liberals, after becoming a mom as a teenager, this caller’s politics shifted. Some would now call her a “Republican in name only” or a “compromising conservative,” but she disagrees. Her compelling life story is a jumping off point to search for a little common ground with Geth.This episode is brought to you by OKCupid and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL)....


148. In Loving Arms
This episode includes: a double-headed red dildo, binders full of sperm, epilepsy, addiction & rehab. But most importantly, it’s about an inspiring mom who’s been through a whole heck of a lot to support and protect her family.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/BEAUTIFUL) and eero (www.eero.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL)....

147. Crying Into My Boba
Too many edibles. A missing sister. Paranoia. Depersonalization & derealization. This week’s caller had a tough 2018, but with therapy and treatment, she’s conquering one thing at a time. This episode is brought to you by Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL)....

146. American Ex-Pat & Berlin Go-Between
A caller in Berlin connects Geth with someone in Finland who happens to be from Oklahoma. Should Geth move to Finland? An American ex-pat helps Geth decide.This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: STORIES), Simple Contacts (www.simplecontacts.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL)....


145. My First Job Interview Ever
In 90 minutes, a graphic design student will have her first-ever job interview. Luckily, Gethard is on the phone to help her get calmed down and psyched up....

Beautiful Follow-Ups: Love Goes On (#69 - Love Is Everywhere)
In June 2017, a mother of 5 spent an hour talking to Chris while in a waiting room, about to hear life or death test results from her daughter’s oncologist. A year later, she tells Chris that all her daughter wants is for her and her family to keep living life, to know it’s okay to be happy and to fight to keep her message, Love Is Everywhere, alive. Find more Beautiful Follow-Ups plus all of the Beautiful Anonymous archives, completely ad-free, only on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Premium, go to s...

144.5 Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions for 2019
It’s time for the annual Beautiful Anonymous New Year’s resolutions episode. Listeners (and a couple special guests) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2019....


144. Queer Feminist Pagan Yuletide
Coming out of the closet to her family was this caller’s New Year’s resolution for 2018. As the year comes to close, she tells Geth whether she achieved the goal. One thing she definitely accomplished: getting her Trump-supporting neighbor to help her hang a pride flag. This episode is brought to you by Palm (www.palm.com), Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com), and Calm (www.calm.com/beautiful)....

143. 28-Year-Old College Student
A real-life Frank The Tank living with hard-partying 18-21 year old college kids is studying geosciences with the goal of one day improving global water supplies. He’s struggled with some mental health issues, which has helped him provide guidance to his younger peers but he’s also learned a lot from them. The phone signal is a little crunchy at times but the phone itself has an origin story that makes it all worth it.This episode is brought to you by Welcome to Marwen, Palm (www.palm.com), Third Love (www....

142. A Bridge Between Humans
Raised in Japan, this week’s guest moved to Canada because of the freedom and culture of openness. Hardly able to speak the language, she now works a job where she literally helps people speak for themselves in difficult situations. Gethard met up with her and recorded this just outside of an acoustically perfect concert hall in a noisy Toronto park.This episode is brought to you by Welcome to Marwen, Fruit of the Loom (www.fruit.com code: STORIES), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.co...


141. Gay Mormon
Imagine if your mom found out you were getting married because she saw your wedding on the TV news. He called in to point out an issue with episode 14 (that’s 127 episodes ago!) but also tells Geth about growing up Mormon and being a stepdad.This episode is brought to you by One Drop (www.getonedrop.com code: STORIES), Betterhelp (www.betterhelp.com/stories), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), Caffe Monster, and Poshmark....

140. I Lost 150 Pounds
What is it like to transform from very large to marathon runner very quickly? A polite but engaged audience in Toronto helps Geth out with some questions, like how her experience feels in the context of the body positivity movement (and they tweet some insults aimed at Buffalo). Then the audience really gets excited when they discuss tandem nursing!This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp (www.betterhelp.com/stories), Fruit of the Loom (www.fruit.com code: STORIES), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: ...

139. Basement Infidelity
A cheating husband, drugs, stalkers, liars and flipping houses. This week’s caller is at a critical juncture in her life and is a little unclear on where the truth lies.This episode is brought to you by This Is Love podcast, One Drop (www.getonedrop.com code: STORIES), Kopari (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES code: STORIES), and Ulta Beauty (www.ulta.com)....


138. House Burned Down
Her home is engulfed in flames. She brings the geckos, kittens & dogs to safety and checks on the donkeys, mules, chickens and horses to make sure they are safe as well. Three days later, lying under an electric blanket with her cat, this week’s caller tells Gethard and the live audience in Los Angeles how she can’t sit around and cry all day, so she laughs through it. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL),...

137. Color of Sunshine, Color of Moonlight
Days after the 2016 election, a mother of three was nervous about how the outcome of the election would impact her children and left an emotional voicemail for Beautiful Anonymous. Two years later, she talked to Geth about the challenges she and her kids face today and all the love and beauty that inspire them.This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), One Drop (www.getonedrop.com code: STORIES), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Kopari’s Coconut Deodora...

136. Wilderness Rehabilitation
On an eight hour solo road trip, a wilderness therapy guide takes a break from dreaming of the woods and insects to chat with Gethard. He’s a wanderer, a man of nature and a modern day philosopher and Gethard gets him to unleash some wisdom gleaned from his experiences outdoors: “You squat over a hole in the ground and everything just slides out”This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), Stitch Fix (www.stitchfix.com/STORIES),...


135. Vanity & Sanity
What is beauty? Maybe the answer is unknowable. For this week’s caller, searching for the answer to that question has been the source of a lot of emotions: anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy and sometimes happiness. This episode is brought to you by Ulta Beauty (www.ulta.com)....

Bonus: An Excerpt from LOSE WELL Audiobook
Featuring laugh-out-loud, kick-in-the-pants advice on how to embrace failure and start living life on your own terms, Lose Well is Chris Gethard's new book. Enjoy this excerpt from the audiobook, narrated by Chris himself....

134. Upward Slide of Happiness
Sitting on a bench in a quintessentially British location, near Queen Mary’s Rose Garden in London, a young Brit opens up with Gethard in a way he never would with anyone in his normal life. From his parents divorce while living on a rural Scottish goat farm to a recent web design related break-up drama, it’s a very authentic conversation that might make you want to go exchange secrets with a stranger in a park for an hour.This episode is brought to you by Stitch Fix (www.stitchfix.com/STORIES), Dream Corp ...


133. Nap Time
“Day care is wild though, let me tell ya!” It’s time to put down a bunch of one-year-olds for a nap and talk with Geth. Married young and facing a divorce in her 20s, this week's caller is ready to have some fun. Geth’s advice: She has plenty of time to make mistakes.This episode is brought to you by Hilarious World of Depression, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL)....

132. I Survived A Mass Shooting
A mass shooting survivor talks to Gethard about the love, positivity and beauty she has experienced in the year since the real-life nightmare she lived through in Las Vegas.This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Kopari (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster....

131. What’s It Like To Be A Man Today?
A European nomad with 30% battery and a very full bladder is riding a ‘lift’ in the Parisian Metro as she chats with Geth (and a live audience in London). She’s curious: what’s it like to be a man in today’s changing society?This episode is brought to you by A Million Little Things on ABC, Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL), Caffe Monster, and Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES)....


130. My Year of Sexploration
Last time this caller got through she talked about being a marching band teacher. She got through again. This time she gets very detailed about a year of pushing and exploring boundaries.This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), Amazon Prime Channels (www.tryprimechannels.com/stories, Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster....

129. Not Afraid of Life
A hard-working mom balancing multiple jobs and school has an inspiring approach to life. Geth tries to find out what it’s like when her Cuban side comes out: when she gets mad, she transforms, like The Incredible Hulk, and her soft spoken demeanor gives way to loud and boisterous anger.This episode is brought to you by Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL)....

128. Nervous Interrupter (Let's All F***)
A merch guy tells Geth about sexual experimentation on the road and coming to terms with his desires.This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL)....


127. 40 Lbs of Cat
Is Facebook evil? Can the internet become a more humane and civil place? Beautiful Anonymous’s first official cat lady has a suggestion: A Sorry Sally Detector for internet communication. This week’s caller has the inside tech scoop-- she worked at Facebook during the 2016 election and is currently at Google.This episode is brought to you by Pact Apparel (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories)....

126. A Saudi Student in Canada
A woman studying neurobiology in Toronto talks about her experience overcoming the cultural differences between Saudi Arabia, Canada & America. Get some veggie poutine, this call was recorded live at JFL Montreal.This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), The Hilarious World of Depression Podcast, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Pact Apparel (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful)....

125. Major Postal Bitch
Drugs, rampages, the postal system. This call has it all. Buckle up and enjoy.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Pact (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES), and Caffe Monster....


124. Goose, Not Maverick
Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking “go pills” to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced while serving her country and she tells Geth all about them.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Caffe Monster....

123. Hanukkah With Fidel
A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers occasionally interrupt.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL)....

122. Northern Ireland
Northern Ireland: come for the apple orchards and beautiful cathedrals, not the disaster tourism. Born to a Catholic mother and Protestant father, this week’s caller attended a segregated school where they had more bomb scare days than snow days. She and Geth play a game called “How long can a person from the island of Ireland tell a happy story before a sad detail comes up?”This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: STORIES), Madison Reed (www.madison-re...


121. Prison Bound
In a few days, this caller will turn herself over to federal authorities and begin a multi-year prison sentence. She tells Geth about how she ended up with a federal indictment, getting sober and all the fast food she’ll be eating before turning herself in.This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Madison Reed (www.madison-reed.com code: PEOPLE)....

120. Out Of The Closet
A young man who has never told anyone about his sexuality finally does. He and Geth talk online relationships, coming out in conservative parts of the country, and being completely unimpressed by Mt. Rushmore.This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful)....

119. 39-Year-Old Grandma
A young grandmother with a family tree that involves some unusually complicated math talks with Gethard about rolling with the punches and rising above the obstacles that life puts in her way. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Halo Top, and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com)....


118. I Cry On The Toilet
We live in a world that can be harsh, brutal and unfair. This week’s caller drives around and personally helps kids and parents in difficult situations. (Hint: The caller is not the one who cries on the toilet.)This episode is brought to you by Hearts Beat Loud film, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful)....

117. Smoking Weed in Christiania
Freetown Christiania is an area in Copenhagen where there are no laws and anarchy rules. This week’s caller is walking there to smoke weed with friends from all over Europe. She tells Gethard about life in Denmark in 2018 on the way.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful)....

116. She Killed My Father
Just ten years ago, transgender was a new word for many people, including this caller. When a close family member transitioned, it was a complex and emotional journey.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful)....


115. The Chillionaire
A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle.This episode is brought to you by Always Forever Maybe, Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Great Women of Business (www.parcast.com/business)....

114. Charity Laundry
Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week’s caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the community. Also, a casual debate ensues over the best NBA player of all time (Jordan vs. LeBron).This episode is brought to you by Thomas’ English Muffins and Magoosh....

113. Irish Wake
This week’s caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression.This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas’ English Muffins, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL)....


112. Quiet Rage
How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you’ve made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an aspiring stand-up comedian about getting out of her own way and making art, even if that means embracing her creepy, pervy side.This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL) and Thomas’ English Muffins....

104. The Whirlpool Galaxy
Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of humanity. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful)....

93.5 Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions
Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018....


72. Aussie Best Friend
An Aussie opens up about his family’s history which includes tales of drug dealing, substance abuse, mental illness, sex addiction and trying to find God in a hot yoga studio. Something really special clicks between Gethard and the caller, and not just because Americans love an Australian accent. Recorded in front of a live audience in Baltimore, Maryland on June 11, 2017.This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL) and Book of the Month: Bound to Delight (www.bookofthemon...

69. Love Is Everywhere
A mother calls in from a children’s hospital while waiting for her daughter's test results. Gethard & the caller shed some tears while discussing tragedy, sickness, pain and suffering. But it’s not all sad. Birthday parties, gelato, Disney World and other awesome things come up.This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Redbox (www.redbox.com/games code: STORIES3), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL code: BEAUTIFUL), Book of the Month: Bound to Delight (www.bookofthe...

65. Deaf
This week's caller is a somewhat unconventional podcast fan. He loves Beautiful/Anonymous even though he's never technically heard an episode. Hmmm. Mysterious. He shares his unique experience with the medium, his outlook on life, and his best party tricks.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Hulu Plus, ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel (www.audible.com/Esther), and De...


51. Made Out With My Teacher
A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller’s high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings out Chris’s anger and rarely-seen “North-Jersey-guy-ready-to-break-bones” side.This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful)....

1. Ron Paul's Baby
A true underdog in Denton, Texas reveals his fascinating family history, and a pent-up passion....

0 Preview: Beautiful / Anonymous
A sneak peek at Chris Gethard’s new show “Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People,” coming to Earwolf on March 15th! Subscribe now and you won't miss a thing....