If I Were You

If I Were You Podcast

Tune in every Monday to If I Were You as Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld offer advice in areas they're qualified to talk about. Also in areas they're not qualified to talk about. Email them with your own sticky situations and they’ll find the solution: IfIWereYouShow@gmail.com.

446: Jake's Birthday Gift
In this episode we discuss virtual reality, virtual currency, and the perfect present for a 35 year old.For more of us check out "The Headgum Podcast" on the Headgum network, and Patreon.com/JA!...

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445: Only Fans
In this episode we discuss various Zoom meals we recently shared with Broadway royalty, then a question or two about porn and having sex during quarantine....

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445: Only Fans
In this episode we discuss various Zoom meals we recently shared with Broadway royalty, then a question or two about porn and having sex during quarantine....

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444: Robe Lightning Round
In this episode we answer as many questions as possible about waffles, acting, and international traveling. For more of us on podcasts check out THE HEADGUM PODCAST on the Headgum network....

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443: I THINK (w/Ben Schwartz!)
In this episode Ben calls Amir and accidentally joins the show! We discuss our friendship, our mental health, and our fake names. For more podcasts with us on it, check out THE HEADGUM PODCAST on THE HEADGUM NETWORK....

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442: Liquid Courage
In this episode we discuss lock down hangs, cool guys at bars, and Jake's family tree.For more of us on a podcast, check out THE HEADGUM PODCAST on THE HEADGUM NETWORK....

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441: Streamin' and Dreamin'
In this episode we discuss stinky roommates, video games, and pranking creepy DM'ers.For more us-on-podcast action check out THE HEADGUM PODCAST on the Headgum network....

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440: Sugar Father
In this episode we discuss cheating, masks, and accepting cash from strangers....

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439: Song Titles
In this episode we discuss saving plants, killing relationships, and playing videogames.As always, for resources on where to donate your time and energy, check out BlackLivesMatters.carrd.co!...

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438: Protesting
In this episode we discuss another inspirational week and answer some questions about demonstrating and donating.Give any spare time, energy, money to the cause by clicking here!...

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437: Black Lives Matter
In this episode we try to get down some thoughts and feelings about these difficult, depressing times -- then do our best to answer some questions. If you're looking for donation resources, check out this helpful website....

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436: Brotherly Love
In this episode we discuss bad haircuts, good siblings, and love in the time of COVID.For more podcast goodness check out THE HEADGUM PODCAST, with us, Geoff and Reilly:Apple PodcastsSpotify...

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435: The Mailman
In this episode we discuss Tinder detectives, Zoom backgrounds, and Amir's slow WiFi.For more podcast action, check out "THE HEADGUM PODCAST" wherever you're listening to this one....

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Bonus: The Headgum Podcast
We started a new podcast featuring the Headgum staff! Join us every week as we wax idiotic on everything from pop culture to Marty’s SSN. Make yourself a drink and come hang!Check out the first episode here and then subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts:Apple PodcastsSpotify...

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434: Animal Crossing
In this episode we discuss Mother's Day, office dogs, and Animal Crossing....

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433: Zoom Flash
In this episode we discuss foot injuries, great films, and walks in the park.(This episode is sponsored by NoKidHungry.org -- Millions of kids face hunger all across the United States, in every community. With your help, we can change it.)...

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432: Suck My Stamp
In this episode we discuss porn names, original artwork, and the GOAT state....

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431: Scam Girls
In this episode we discuss jealousy, iced coffee, and Middleditch and Schwartz coming to Netflix this week!For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA...

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430: Dance Party
In this episode we take a trip down memory lane and answer some old questions about travel, tinder, and kittens!For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for bonus Thursday video episodes....

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429: Quar-and-A Lightning Round
In this episode we discuss our favorite self-isolation outfits, hobbies, and TV shows. Thanks for your quarantine questions!For more IF I WERE YOU check out our bonus Thursday videos on our Patreon.com/JA....

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428: Masks and Bananas (w/Jeff and Pat!)
In this episode we discuss our self-isolation woes, then call some old friends, Jeff Rubin and Pat Cassels, to see how they're doing. We may even get to a question at the end...For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for bonus Thursday video episodes....

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427: Quarantine Chat
We are back with our microphones discussing the pros and cons of self-isolation, and our new schedule. Then we talk to a real-life doctor and ask her every question we have about COVID-19 (and phone sex, of course!)For more IF I WERE YOU check out Patreon.com/JA...

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426: Corona Calls (w/Geoff, Marty, & Ben Schwartz!)
In this episode we call each other to discuss this crazy new world... then we call some friends and ask them how they're holding up. Stay safe and stay home, everybody!...

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425: CoronaVirus
In this episode we discuss bees, headphones, and COVID-19.For more IF I WERE YOU, check out the bonus Thursday episodes on our Patreon.com/JA...

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424: Dead Eyes (w/Connor Ratliff!)
Friend and fellow Headgum podcaster Connor Ratliff is in the studio discussing bowling, parents, and his new HG Original podcast "Dead Eyes!"...

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Bonus Patreon Sample
This is half of today's Bonus Thursday Patreon Episode of our show. You can listen to the rest, or watch 35 other full episodes over at Patreon.com/JA...

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423: Motion Sickness
In this episode we discuss OnlyFans, sea legs, and the perfect NYC date.For more IF I WERE YOU check out bonus Thursday video episodes on our Patreon.com/JA!...

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422: Worms (w/Rose McIver!)
Friend and voice of Headgum Rose McIver is in the studio discussing salads, weddings, and MSN Messenger.For more IF I WERE YOU check out bonus video Thursday episodes on our Patreon.com/JA....

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421: Thick Chicken (w/Geoff and Reilly!)
Newest Headgum podcasters Geoffrey James and Reilly Anspaugh are in the studio to discuss Twitter names, career advice, and eating food like an adult.And for more, check out Geoff and Reilly's new podcast Review Revue on Headgum!...

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420: Road Hand (w/Ana Nicolich!)
Friend and fellow Headgum podcaster Ana from Twinnovation joins us to discuss new dudes, old nudes, and using speakerphone in public. For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA!...

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419: Stinky Penis
In this episode we discuss terrible Tinder messages and the new slate of Headgum podcasts! And then we name a baby, of course. For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA(Note: This was recorded before Kobe's passing. RIP!)...

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418: Addiction
In this episode we discuss baby names, Foo Fighters, and how Jake's new diet is going.Fore more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for bonus Thursday video episodes....

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417: Hostel Love
In this episode we discuss wedding speeches, popping videos, and the perfect text.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA....

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416: Foot For Thought
In this episode we discuss Jake's surgery, Amir's new Twitter handle, and of course... poetry.For more IF I WERE YOU, you can watch over 25 bonus video Thursday episodes on our Patreon.com/JA!...

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415: Hosting and Ghosting
In this episode we discuss our new years resolutions, Jake's foot surgery, and the ideal texting rate.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for Bonus Thursday Video episodes....

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414: Amir on NADDPod
Special Holiday episode this week -- it's Amir's debut on Jake's Dungeons and Dragons podcast. And no, you don't have to know anything about Dungeons and Dragons to enjoy the show! So... enjoy the show!...

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413: Christmas Tree
In this episode we discuss holiday drama, grooming tips, and the going rate for a 6 foot Douglas Fir.Listen to Amir's episode on Punch Up The Jam.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for bonus Thursday video episodes!...

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412: Pissing in a Sink
In this episode we discuss the pros and cons of bath-houses as a means of relaxation, the trials and tribulations of growing your hair out, and lastly, whether or not you can drink your own pee pee.For more IF I WERE YOU check out bonus video episodes on Patreon.com/JA....

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411: Sick Lightning Round
In this episode, we may have the common cold, but we answer as many questions as we can about our style, our burps, and our fourth favorite ice cream flavor.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA...

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410: Airdrop Flirting
In this episode we discuss commitment issues, flirting on a subway, and office Crocs. For more IF I WERE YOU check out bonus video Thursday episodes on our Patreon.com/JA....

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409: Secret Santa (w/Thomas Middleditch!)
Comedian, friend, and lover Thomas Middleditch is in the studio to discuss moving to Australia, the Super Flu, and the greatest gift of all: Sand.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA...

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409: Secret Santa (w/Thomas Middleditch!)
Comedian, friend, and lover Thomas Middleditch is in the studio to discuss moving to Australia, the Super Flu, and the greatest gift of all: Sand.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA...

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408: Cool Scar
In this episode we discuss gym crushes, flu shots, and the fastest growing cities in America.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for bonus video Thursday episodes....

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407: The Best Coffee
In this episode we discuss flat whites, bathroom locks, and why breaking up is easy to do.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA for weekly bonus video episodes!...

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406: Better Late Than Never
In this special tardy edition of our show, we discuss where we've traveled, and why Jake almost couldn't make it there. Then we tackle a few Halloween questions.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon.com/JA....

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405: Dungeons and Dragons and Sex
In this episode Jake discusses checking in his luggage, and Amir discusses checking out his brain. Then we tackle the five second rule.For more IF I WERE YOU check out Bonus Thursday Video Episodes on our Patreon.com/JA...

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404: Soup to Nuts (Lightning Round)
In this episode we discuss ovens, bedding, shoes, fantasy football, Twitter, and our favorite pasta shapes.For more "If I Were You" check out Bonus Thursday Video episodes on our Patreon....

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403: Ass Shot
In this episode we discuss physical therapy, Succession, and Jake's goddaughter.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon for bonus Thursday video episodes!...

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402: Duck Butter
In this episode we discuss superheroes, our favorite smells, and whether or not we would be a toilet.For more IF I WERE YOU, check out bonus Thursday video episodes on our Patreon....

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401: The Godfather
In this episode we discuss flirtatious dads and depressed teens. We also debut a new potential segment!For more advice, check out our Patreon for bonus Thursday video episodes....

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400: Memory Lane
In our 400th EPISODE we reminisce about our origin story and brainstorm future segments. Thanks to everybody who's listened to at least 350 of these! Including the live shows, of course....

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399: Singing and Acting
In this episode we discuss pop punk, Sudoku, and acting cool at the gym....

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398: Alaskan Adventure
In this episode we discuss Brazilian waxes, renting apartments, and Jake's new career as a development executive.For more If I Were You, check out our bonus Thursday video episodes every week on our Patreon!...

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397: Cryotherapy
In this episode Jake takes control as we discuss bad sex, bad friends, and good olympians.For more IF I WERE YOU, check out our Bonus Thursday Video Episodes on our Patreon....

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396: Ice Cream Girl
In this episode we discuss being newly single, high school crushes, and unrequited love.For more advice, check out our bonus Thursday video episodes on our Patreon....

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395: Panic Attack
In this episode we discuss Jake's mental health, high school, and dry spells.For more advice, check out our Patreon which has bonus video videos every Thursday!...

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394: Jake's Birthday Barty
In this episode we discuss Jake's 34th birthday, Amir's music career, and breaking the law in very small ways.For more IF I WERE YOU check out our Patreon -- bonus video episodes every Thursday!...

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393: Running Late
In this episode we discuss racist mugs, smelly thugs, and gift baskets. For more IF I WERE YOU, check out our Patreon -- Bonus videos every Thursday!...

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392: Blind Date (w/Julia Nunes!)
Musician and friend Julia Nunes is in the studio discussing flirting, exercising, and laser eye surgery.Get Julia's new album UGHWOW wherever you listen to music....

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391: Tongue in Cheek Kiss
In this episode we discuss sexy tattoos, angry boyfriends, and kissing bosses....

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390: Shout Out Lightning Round
In this lightning round episode we discuss our favorite weather, our favorite foods, and what Dungeons and Dragons character would Amir be.... WITH A SIDE OF RICE....

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389: Sexile Island
In this episode we discuss casual sex with a millionaire, coworker crushes, and fantasy basketball drama....

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388: Drake's Wallet
In this episode we discuss pre-marital problems, MMF threesomes, and porn blogs.For more "If I Were You" check out our bonus Thursday video episodes on our Patreon!...

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387: Prison (w/Middleditch and Schwartz!)
Friends and comedians Thomas Middleditch and Ben Schwartz join us live from Thalia Hall in Chicago to discuss foreskin, new pants, and who is 58 years old.Thanks to everybody who came out to HeadGum Live last weekend!...

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386: Circumcision (w/Nic Rad!)
Friend and father Nic Rad is on the show to talk about difficult decisions, pop music, and of course, ladders.And if you see this in time, come hang out with us in Chicago! HeadGum Live is coming June 14-16 at Thalia Hall! Get your tickets here....

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385: To Doink or Not to Doink
In this episode we discuss oral hygiene, loving thy neighbor, and the Toronto Raptors....

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384: The Roommate Switch
In this episode we discuss ending relationships and ending Game of Thrones... and smiling at yourself.Come hang out with us in Chicago on June 14-16 at HeadGum Live!...

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383: Ticklish Vagina
In this episode we discuss laughing during sex, new tools, and a Twitter draft so good, it's worth a Golden Mic award.Still some tickets left to see us in Chicago! Click here to join the party....

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382: Game Night (w/Hey Riddle Riddle!)
Fellow HeadGum podcasters Adal Rifai, Erin Keif and JPC (Hey Riddle Riddle podcast) join us to discuss breaking the ice, solving riddles, and how to poop.For more riddles and puzzles, check out Hey Riddle Riddle on HeadGum.See us all at HeadGum Live in Chicago June 14-16 at Thalia Hall!...

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381: Game of Thrones
In this episode we discuss hot bosses, motorcycle uncles, and phone numbers. Then Jake gives out this episodes Golden Mic and Turdy awards.Come see us in Chicago on June 15!...

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380: The Psychopath
In this episode we discuss overthinking pillow talk, underthinking bootie calls, and Jake's newest award.Come see us live in Chicago on June 15 as part of HeadGum Live!...

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379: Golden Mic
In this episode we discuss blurry vision, self-defense, and Jake's newest creation: General Cleanliness.Support the Golden Mic Winner (Jake) by purchasing his very own shirt.https://store.headgum.com/collections/apparel/products/general-cleanliness-tee...

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378: Sing Along
In this episode we discuss adopted siblings, Jake's childhood, and Amir's LASIK.HeadGum Live! Is coming to Chicago on June 14-16. Come hang with us and our friends -- tickets here....

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377: Shart and Dart (Live in DC!)
In this episode we discuss prom-posals, cheating zaddy's, and Amir's new musical.Recorded at the Black Cat in Washington DC!...

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376: Skinny Condom
In this episode we discuss Amir’s April Fools Day LASIK, coed wrestling, and of course, jade rollers....

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375: Home Schooled (w/Kevin Porter!)
Friend and fellow HeadGum podcaster Kevin Porter joins us as we discuss dogsitting, candles, and his podcast "Good Christian Fun!"...

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374: Pee Tasting (live in NYC!)
In this episode we discuss roller coaster pranks, tutor crushes, and art school threesomes -- Live at the Gramercy Theatre in NYC!...

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373: Girls on Porn (w/Laura and Rachel!)
New HeadGum podcasters Laura and Rachel stop by to discuss their show "Girls on Porn" and answer as many porn-related questions as we can get through in a good old fashioned porn lightning round episode....

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372: Blanket Poop (w/Nicole Byer!)
Comedian and fellow HeadGum podcaster Nicole Byer joins us to discuss dating, flying, and dressing yourself.And for more bonus episodes of If I Were You check out our Patreon page: www.patreon.com/JA...

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371: Power Move
In this episode we discuss Jake's European Vacation, Amir's potential monovision, and whether its cooler to block or unfollow somebody on social media....

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370: Meth Boyfriend
In this episode we discuss Denmark, Cupid, and of course... hooks. Tickets still available to our show in Washington DC on March 9! Come on out and party with us....

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369: Long Underwear
In this episode we discuss being pissed off, and getting pissed on. Plus a follow-up pup from an angry girlfriend!For more If I Were You check out our Patreon page at Patreon.com/JA!...

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368: Small Spoon (w/Geoffrey James)
Friend and resident dumbass is on the show to discuss puking, peeing, and eating ice cream.Plus our Super Bowl bet!...

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367: Nephew's Haircut
In this episode we discuss DND, DDR, and Amir's previous lives.For more If I Were You, check out our Patreon page!...

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Bonus Thursday Patreon Episode: Flip Off
A taste of our bonus video episode available in full over on Patreon.com/JA! We discuss book clubs, Vermont, and yes, joy....

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366: Unsolicited Advice (w/Jon Gabrus!)
In this episode... 90 minutes of unsolicited advice with special guest Jon Gabrus! Plus, our history with guiding people out of sticky situations. Enjoy!...

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365: Secrets Secrets
In this episode we discuss grinding, smoking, and our new found love of soccer! Happy 2019!...

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English Premier League Podcast (w/Rahul Kohli!)
The pilot episode of our newest series about EPL Football! Our first guest is actor and Liverpool fanatic Rahul Kohli--He is in the studio answering our questions about British Football and his favorite team. Episode 2 is online as well over at Patreon.com/JA. Enjoy!The hunt to find our new favorite team... is on....

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364: Magic The Gathering
In this episode we discuss different types of nerds, national parks, and how threesomes are like fragile flowers. And, we cannot stress this enough, we are in the same room....

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363: New Years Eve
In this episode we discuss our cars, our holidays, and our New Years resolutions. Happy 2019, everybody!...

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362: Christmas Eve
Ho, ho, ho! Enjoy this special Xmas episode with the family as we discuss when Jesus was born, and whether babies can be born with tattoos....

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361: Wingmen (w/Jake Weisman and Matt Ingebretson)
The funny dudes behind Comedy Central's "Corporate" join us to discuss office holiday parties, investing wisely,, and of course: grapes....

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360: Footjob
The gameboy returns as we discuss pedicures, career advice, and our singing voices....

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359: Bisexual Ex
In this episode we discuss traveling romance, dealing with maggots, and tea bagging soup. Of course.For more advice... check out our bonus Thursday videos on Patreon.com/JA!...

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Bonus Thursday Patreon: Tom Cruise
Here's a taste of today's Bonus Thursday Patreon ep. As always you can watch or listen to the whole thing at Patreon.com/JA...

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358: Bro Job (w/Grace Helbig and Mamrie Hart!)
Friends and fellow podcasters Grace and Mamrie join us to discuss wedding gifts, hotel safes, and watching movies at 9am.For more Grace and Mamrie check out their podcast THIS MIGHT GET WEIRD!...

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357: Piece of Shit Car
In this episode we discuss tubas, masturbation, and surviving NYC on a budget.For more "If I Were You" we're doing bi-weekly bonus video episodes on Patreon.com/JA!...

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Bonus Patreon Thursday: Bad Teeth (w/Reilly Anspaugh!)
Fellow HeadGum-er Reilly Anspaugh is in the studio to talk about bad kissers, good hygiene and horrible details about the Twilight Franchise. NOTE: The entire episode is available in both video and audio format on Patreon.com/JA...

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356: Grammar Nazi (w/Lauren Lapkus and Jon Gabrus!)
Friends and fellow podcasters Lauren Lapkus and Jon Gabrus join us to discuss splitting bills, midnight shits, and having sex before dinner....

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355: Fear the Beard
In this episode we discuss long walks, open marriages, and Lonely and Horny Season 2 -- available now!...

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Patreon Bonus Thursday Teaser (w/Megan Batoon!)
A sample of today's Bonus Thursday Patreon Video edition of our advice show. If you wanna hear more, or watch the whole episode head down to Patreon.com/JA ....

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354: Hot Professor
In this episode we discuss pausing a romance, popping the question, and how to reheat french fries.For more "If I Were You" check out Patreon.com/JA for bonus video episodes....

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Patreon.com/JA Teaser Mini Episode
Here we are, between real episodes, to give you a taste of what's going on over at Patreon.com/JA. We dropped a bonus Thursday video episode of this podcast over there, so we figured we could give everybody a free taste on this feed. For the full episode, and another one, and two more of "Jake and Amir watch Jake and Amir," that url again is Patreon.com/JA. Hope you all dig it!...

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352: The Biggest Announcement
We're back! In this episode we announce our newest, most ambitious project yet: our new Patreon Channel: Patreon.com/JA . We discuss why we decided to launch this channel, as well as the shows currently on it: A video version of this podcast, as well as "Jake and Amir watch Jake and Amir." We're excited. Hope you are too....

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351: Flaming Sock
In this episode we discuss crying, glasses, meeting Michael Chiklis, and Lonely and Horny Season 2, coming soon to CollegeHumor's DropOut!...

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350: Dream Cheating (w/Yeardley Smith!)
Voice of Lisa Simpson, and podcaster Yeardley Smith joins us to discuss bullying, The Simpsons, and her new podcast "Small Town Dicks!"...

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349: Savor the Sausage
In this episode we discuss Jake's new hobby and whether or not it's detrimentally odd....

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348: Escape Room
In this episode we discuss baldness, grayness, and stiff backs. Basically, how to get older without really trying....

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347: Instagram Stories
In this episode we discuss teenage sobriety, emotional cheating, and dating your brothers best friend.Hungry for more? Check out Jake on Amir's NBA podcast: BUCKETS!...

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346: Dungeons and Dragons and Sex
In this episode we discuss fantasy, role playing, and what its like to cheat on a loved one with a mouse....

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345: Jake and Jill's Insane Wedding (w/Jillian Vogel!)
In this episode Jillian Vogel joins us to recap perhaps the most eventful wedding weekend of all time. Note: This is a true story. Also worth mentioning: BUCKETS! Amir's new NBA Podcast. Subscribe wherever you're listening to this....

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344: Favorite Flavors
In this episode we discuss perfect weather, tattoos, piercings, accessories, cereal, lasik, football, futbol, and our favorite flavors in a Twitter Lightning round for the ages... with a little bit of sleet, though!...

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343: Tom Cruise
In this episode we discuss Jake's birthday, stupid cats, and Mission Impossible....

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342: Fanny Pack (w/Sean Jost!)
Friend and lover Sean Jost joins us to discuss choking, strangling, and Hawaiian hot spots....

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341: Wiping (w/Jay Mohr!)
Comedian Jay Mohr joins us to discuss pissing, WhatsApp, and the greatest Chris Farley story ever told. For Mohr, Jay check out his podcast "Mohr Stories!"...

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340: New Porn (w/Rose McIver!)
Friend, actor and voice of HeadGum Rose McIver joins us to discuss ultimatums, gardening, and how porn habits die hard....

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339: Bald Spot (w/Murph and Emily!)
Friends and fellow HeadGum Podcasters join us to discuss British Accents, Amir's D&D Character, and an intense game of Mafia....

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338: Class Clowns
In this episode, our favorite Game Boy returns to discuss funny students, mean teachers and Jake's wedding....

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337: Small Problems
In this episode we discuss the little things... social media, self awareness, and credit card information....

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336: Spanking (Live in London!)
In this episode we discuss natural disasters, horny mothers, and Australian Vloggers live at the Leicester Square Theatre in London!...

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335: Euro Trip Lightning Round
In this episode we discuss travel tips, least favorite cities, and bad addresses in another Twitter Q+A lightning round....

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334: Hot Roommate (w/Megan Batoon!)
Friend and fellow HeadGum podcaster Megan Batoon joins us to discuss flight attendants, affairs, and terrible blog posts....

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333: Memory Lane (w/Ben Schwartz!)
Comedian, friend, and lover Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss comedy writing, early Internet, and his new wine podcast "The Wine Down."...

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332: Jake's Lasik
In this episode we discuss breast reductions, sex tips, and Jake's songwriting career....

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331: Ass Man (w/Thomas Middleditch!)
Friend and Comedian Thomas Middleditch joins us live in Winnipeg! We discuss real butts, fake teeth, and sibling sex. If you like this live show, come see one for yourself! We'll be in Amsterdam on June 4, London on June 6, and Dublin on June 10!...

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330: Vaping (w/Sugar Pine 7!)
In this episode, Steve, Cib, and James of Sugar Pine 7 join us to discuss kissing, dissing, and car accidents....

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329: Instagram Jealousy
In this episode we discuss Hollywood, DM's, and Simon & Garfunkel....

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328: Birthday Sex
In this episode we discuss anime, racism, and birthday sex! Also, if you're in Amsterdam, London, or Dublin, come see us in June!...

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327: Ex Girlfriend's Birthday
In this episode we discuss sleep masks, apologies, and touch briefly on Amir's new musical....

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326: Strip Clubs (w/Thomas Middleditch live in Vancouver!)
Comedian and Friend Thomas Middleditch joins us to discuss STD's, DND, and Canadian Folk Hero Stan Rogers. Recorded Live at the Vogue Theater as part of Just For Laughs: Vancouver!...

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325: Jew Snacks and Life Hacks
In this episode we discuss ring foods, cities we've never been to, and how to meet your new best friend, in another rousing rendition of Twitter Lightning Round!...

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323: Pee Sex (Live in NYC w/Scott Rogowsky!)
Friend and host of HQ Trivia, Scott Rogowsky joins us to discuss ugly cats, beautiful farts, and natural lubrication....

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322: Hall Pass (w/Billy Scafuri!)
Friend and comedian Billy Scafuri joins us to discuss hip hop, long hair days, and Billy's new short film "Triple Kiss!"...

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320: Prostitute Tips
In this episode we discuss mother nature, father time, and grandfather pillows....

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319: 6-Way Kiss (Live in Austin, TX!)
Live from SxSW it's "If I Were You!" We discuss sexiling, sexting, and sexy potato chips.Thanks to SiriusXM for sponsoring the digital release of this Bonus Thursday episode! Don’t forget to thank them by using the URL siriusxm.com/headgum where you can get two months free with no obligations....

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318: Is College Worth It? (with Miel and Demi!)
Friends and fellow HeadGum podcasters Miel Bredouw and Demi Adejuyigbe join us to discuss private parts, living abroad, and learning how to cook for yourself.And catch our episode of their podcast, PUNCH UP THE JAM, on HeadGum....

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317: Secret Honeymoon (w/Geoffrey and Davey!)
Friends and loved ones Geoffrey James and Dave Rosenberg join us to discuss pizza, live shows, and the great state of Ohio....

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316: Brotherly Sex (w/Dave Rosenberg!)
Friend and fellow HeadGum podcaster Davey Rosenberg joins us to discuss arm wrestling, cologne, and unfollowing ex-girlfriends on Instagram.See us all in Austin, TX live on March 10! Tickets at HeadGum.com/live!...

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315: Wedding Planner
In this episode we discuss weird wine, plus ones, and hot professors....

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314: Dungeons and Dragons (w/Murph and Emily!)
Friends and lovers Brian Murphy and Emily Axford join us to discuss paying for sex, writing a book, and their new Dungeons and Dragons podcast "Not another D and D podcast" on the HeadGum network!...

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313: Poopgate (w/Hayley Marie Norman!)
Friend and actor Hayley Marie Norman joins us to discuss pussy crystals and stinky roommates....

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312: Bad Voice
In this episode we discuss European First Dates, tennis, and oral hygiene!...

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311: Hidden Dildos
In this episode we discuss mormon parents, annoying brothers, and Jake's Game of Thrones addiction....

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310: Unsolicited Advice
In this episode we discuss nudes, dudes, and cryptocurrency!...

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309: Two Jakes (w/Jake Weisman!)
Friend and Co-Creator/Star of Comedy Central's "Corporate" join us to discuss camels, knives, and his new television show coming January 17!...

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Episode 308: New Years Lightning Round!
New episode for a new year! Ring in 2018 as we tackle as many questions as possible, while discussing our resolutions, favorite memories, and podcast ideas....

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307: Doodie Calls (w/Doug Mand and Jack Dolgen!)
Friends and fellow Poo-dcasters Doug and Jack join us to discuss clogging toilets, single ply tissue paper, and stinky sisters. PLUS You can hear our episode of their podcast "Doodie Calls" on HeadGum now!...

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306: Dicklish Tick
The GameBoy brings his girlfriend by for another epic game. We discuss bad gifts and good boyfriends!...

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304: Why Won't You Date Me (w/Nicole Byer!)
Friend and Comedian Nicole Byer joins us to discuss rejection, dating apps, and her new HeadGum podcast!...

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303: Wild Goose Chase
In this episode we discuss new phones, old habits, and Shakespeare, mother!...

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302: Bachelor Party
In this episode we discuss Alaska, awkward gifts, and alphabetical order....

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301: Baby Voice (w/Rob Huebel!)
Comedian, friend, and father Rob Huebel joins us to discuss loud sex, celebrity encounters, and his new show, "Do You Want To See a Dead Body?".Check out Rob Huebel in Do You Want to See a Dead Body, 10/21 on YouTube Red....

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300: A Celebration (w/Ben Schwartz!)
Friend, comedian, lover Ben Schwartz joins us to celebrate our 300th episode by discussing chipmunks, how to be funny, and his new book!...

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299: Two Cats (w/Brian Murphy!)
Comedian and Friend Brian Murphy joins us to discuss dungeons, dragons, and flash mob break ups....

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298: Smoking Ferns (w/Megan Batoon!)
Dancer, YouTuber, and new friend Megan Batoon joins us to discuss airports, alcohol, and her delicious cookies....

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297: Lightning Round 4 (w/Geoffrey James!)
Friend, co-worker, and dumbass Geoffrey James join us to tackle as many questions as possible....

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296: F•R•I•E•N•D•S
In this episode we discuss Snapchatting, obsessing, and going away to college....

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295: Dog Lover (w/Hoodie Allen!)
Rapper and Friend Hoodie Allen joins us to discuss sex toys, trust issues, and ideas for an Australian rap/podcast tour....

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294: Drunk Texting
In this episode we discuss pajamas, will power, and living with your ex....

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293: Step Sibling Sex (w/Geoffrey James!)
In this episode we discuss bad noises, good jelly, and our live show at UCB Theatre on September 27!...

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292: Yoga Privates (w/Phil and Mike!)
Co-creators of HBO's "Animals" Phil Matarese And Mike Luciano join us to discuss how jobs are like lovers, and the road to making their television show....

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291: Porno Game Shows
In this episode we discuss creepy dealers, German cheaters, and who should pay on the first date....

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290: Worst Best Man
In this episode we discuss boots, best friends, and birth control....

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289: Engaged
In this episode we discuss age, fiancés, and cross dressing....

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288: Butt Plug (Live in Montreal!)
We discuss urine, breast milk, and other bodily fluids live at Just For Laughs comedy festival in Montreal! With special appearance by friend/comedian Jon Gabrus....

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286: Lightning Round 3 (w/Geoffrey James + Interns!)
In this special episode we grab Geoffrey James and HeadGum Interns to discuss nectarines, flying, freshmen, basketball, hamburgers, wallets, masturbation, Tinder, showers, swearing, and Los Angeles! Thanks to Reilly, Nic, Saba, Santos, Eagle, Lauren, John George, and Dylan for stopping by....

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285: Sexiled Roommate (w/Gabrielle Elyse!)
Friend/actress Gabrielle Elyse joins us to discuss crushes, condiments, and online college....

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284: Jakes Moms Cookies
In this episode we talk about braces, blow jays, and being a creep. And also, Jake's Mom's Cookies.We're in Montreal for JFL this week! Get your tickets here....

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283: Prank Wars (w/Streeter Seidell!)
Friend and lover Streeter Seidell joins us to discuss catfishing, dick pics, and old videos.Come see our live show in Montreal! July 25 as part of JFL comedy fest....

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282: Is It Cheating If...
In this episode we discuss getting grossed out and turned on. Also, tennis.See us in Montreal! Live "If I Were You" on July 25....

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281: Sex Party (w/Gaby and Allison!)
Comedian and friends Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin join us to discuss polyamory, sexuality, and their book. Things get extra real....

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280: Broken Wiener (live in Portland!)
In this episode we discuss good relationships, bad shits, and ugly lovers. Recorded live at Mississippi Studios, in Portland, OR! Brought to you by Spoke....

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279: Mona Lisa
In this episode we discuss pissing style, missing smiles, and kissing piles. Well, actually just the first one, but man it's fun to rhyme! Also, we talk about instituting some new segment ideas! Let us know what you think on twitter. Do people read these? Let's find out!...

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278: Street Fighter Sex
In this episode we discuss class clowns, mad dads, and bad tats. Questions compiled by our new awesome summer interns!...

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276: Sweet Boys
In this episode we discuss eskimo brothers, real brothers, and Duke Men's Basketball Coach, Mike Krzyzewski....

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275: Hangover Routine
In this episode we discuss bird names, Instagram games, and the rare F-Buddy Zone....

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274: Butts and Butts
In this episode we talk about geography, flatulence, and the unbearable lightness of woke....

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273: Shallow Boyfriend (Live in Denver!)
In this episode we discuss good friends, bad people, and ugly voices -- live at Comedy Works in Denver, CO!...

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272: Return of the Game Boy
The Game Boy returns to discuss crushing, sweating, and Jake's feet....

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271: Two Cam Girls
In this episode we talk about airplane problems, Buzzfeed quizzes, and weed....

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270: Nipples
In this episode we discuss cats, threesomes, and terrible TV Etiquette....

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269: Mom on Blast
In this Twitter lightning round episode we discuss pigs, jeans, candy, beards, Los Angeles, ice cream, bangs, the kiekel, and the worst kind of person!...

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268: Sex Diary
The Gameboy invites us to his house to play a round of his sick game. We discuss sex diaries, walking with your mom, and the most illegal things we've done. This episode brought to you by Article.com. Head to http://www.article.com/ifiwereyou for $50 off your purchase of $100 or more. Watch this episode at http://www.youtube.com/ifiwereyou...

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267: Nipple Hair (w/Hoodie Allen!)
Rapper and Friend Hoodie Allen joins us to discuss pranks, jewelry and spatulas....

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266: Danish
In this episode, we discuss cartoons, pastries, and the morning after. Live from Amir's house! This episode brought to you by Article.com. Head to article.com/ifiwereyou for $50 off your purchase of $100 or more. Video also available on youtube.com/ifiwereyoushow...

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265: VR Porn (live in Melbourne!)
We discuss hitchhikers, fleshlights and sticky showers at the Athenaeum Theatre in Melbourne, Australia!...

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264: Seal the Deal
In this episode we discuss typewriting, massaging, and videochatting....

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263: Outdoor Sex (w/Rhett and Link!)
Internet superstars Rhett and Link join us to discuss real friends, fake family, and the McDonalds menu....

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262: Passwords (w/Eliot Glazer!)
Comedian and Friend Eliot Glazer joins us to discuss bad songs and good ideas for this BONUS Thursday Episode! Live shows in Austin and Australia this week! Come see us....

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261: Daddy (w/Tim Baltz!)
Comedian and friend Tim Baltz joins us to discuss breakfast, fighting, and kinky dog whistles....

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260: Lightning Round
In this episode we discuss Hawaii, McDonalds, and how to flirt with a one-armed beauty....

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259: Secret Diary (w/Geoffrey James!)
Friend and resident dumbass Geoffrey James joins us to discuss sibling revelry, velcro wallets, and grilled cheese sandwiches....

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258: Sex Farts
In this episode we discuss hot sauce, lasagna, and gas. The three major food groups. This episode brought to you by Dove Men+Care! Help us and our sponsors by taking this survey: http://wondery.com/survey/...

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257: Netflix and Chill
In this episode we discuss Kanye's education, Lindsey Vonn's schedule, and our upcoming HeadGum podcast festival in Austin!...

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256: Jew Trip
In this episode we discuss cousins, crushes, and commitment....

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255: Smile (w/Billy and Adam!)
Friends and fellow HeadGum podcasters Billy and Adam join us to discuss virginity, anxiety, and how to change the world....

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254: Topless Tuesday
In this episode we discuss new years resolutions, oral sex, and selfies....

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253: Britney Spears
In this episode we discuss High School cliques and basketball tricks. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and TrackR!...

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252: eTemple (w/Laura Hurwitz!)
Jake's mother joins us to discuss parenthood, religion, and Jake's biggest fears. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox and Casper!...

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251: Santa Clause
In this episode we discuss the holidays, New Years Eve, and student loans. Thanks for listening this year! This episode is brought to you by the HeadGum Store and Seeso!...

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250: Going Down (w/Jon Gabrus!)
Friend, Comedian, and Uncle Jon Gabrus joins us to discuss stress shitting, book returning, and oral sexing. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, and Seeso!...

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249: Snapchat (w/Gil Ozeri!)
Friend/comedian/lover Gil Ozeri joins us to discuss cousins, birth control, and his popular Snapchat account. Brought to you by BlueApron, TrunkClub, and the new HeadGum store!...

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248: Facial (w/Mike Karnell!)
Mama Bear and friend Mike Karnell is back on the show to discuss losing weight and saying I love you. Episode is brought to you by MeUndies, Seeso, and Squarespace!...

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247: Unhinged
In this episode we discuss one night stands, team captains and when to delete dating apps. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, ZipRecruiter, and Leesa!...

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246: Hot Bully
In this episode we discuss the truth behind jokes and our new HeadGum store! This episode is brought to you by Seeso and Indochino!...

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245: Weird Science (w/Dan Levy!)
Comedian/Friend Dan Levy joins us to discuss long distance relationships and college comedy shows. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, BlueApron, and Indochino!...

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244: Female Condom
In this episode we discuss safe sex, inheritance, and one night stands. This BONUS THURSDAY episode is brought to you by Leesa.com and TrunkClub!...

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243: Morning After Trump
Bonus non-advice episode in which we decompress and discuss Donald Trump beating Hillary Clinton to become the next president of the United States of America....

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242: Snoring
In this episode we discuss babysitting, sympathy, and home ownership. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, ZipRecruiter, and Indochino!...

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241: Cam Girls
In this episode we discuss gratuity, jealousy, and virginity. This episode is brought to you by DSTLD.com, MeUndies, and Squarespace!...

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240: Cavity (Live in Chicago!)
In this episode we discuss bleeding, tasting, and poisoning. This episode is brought to you by Leesa, ZipRecruiter, and Seeso!...

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239: Cousins
In this episode we discuss new names, new apps, and digital scales. BONUS THURSDAY Episode brought to you by Squarespace and PetNet!...

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238: Evolution
In this episode the game boy returns and we discuss wrestling, religion, and playing with fire. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, BlueApron, and NatureBox!...

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237: Motorcycle (Live in Toronto!)
In this episode we discuss sexy cars and skinny dipping live at JFL42 in Toronto! This episode is brought to you by DSTLD jeans, BlueApron.com, and TrunkClub.com....

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236: Bad Laugh (w/Grace Helbig!)
Friend and comedian Grace Helbig joins us to discuss honesty, burping, and four minutes of unbroken eye contact. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, and Squarespace!...

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235: Tobacco (w/George Basil!)
The friend, the myth, the legend George Basil joins us to dispense wisdom on mentors, soulmates, and cigarettes. This episode is brought to you by Harrys, FrameBridge, and Squarespace...

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234: Bar Mitzvah Kiss
In this episode we discuss pride, fax machines, and ghosting's ugly cousin: Benching. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, BlueApron, and NatureBox!...

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233: Baby Names (w/Pat Cassels!)
Emmy nominated friend Pat Cassels joins us to discuss hot friends, terrible pets, and pregnant men. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, FrameBridge, and TrunkClub!...

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232: Bad Kiss (w/Arielle Vandenberg!)
Friend and Comedian Arielle Vandenberg joins us to discuss sexting, cheating, and her new podcast (hopefully.) This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, BlueApron, and Harry's!...

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231: Prostitution
In this episode we discuss parties, balloons, and sleeping with coworkers. This episode is brought to you by WarbyParker and Squarespace!...

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230: Pride
In this here episode we discuss ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, and foliage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, FrameBridge, and NatureBox!...

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229: Trump
In this episode we discuss sisters, stalking, and our Eurotrip. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, BlueApron, and Tidal!...

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228: Potato (live from Dublin w/Ben Schwartz!)
Comedian/Friend Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss childhood hobbies, Irish memories, and American references at the Vodafone Comedy Festival in Dublin, Ireland! This episode is brought to you by Casper and TrunkClub!...

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227: Pokemon Go (with Travis McElroy!)
We are joined by fellow advice podcaster Travis McElroy to discuss pain, pleasure, and the difference between a canoe and a kayak. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, BlueApron, and Squarespace!...

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226: Hot Tutor (w/Ramou Sarr!)
Friend/Fellow HeadGum Podcaster Ramou Sarr is in the studio to discuss dogs, boobs, and Bieber. This episode is brought to you by Framebridge.com and NatureBox.com!...

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225: Good Guy
In this episode we discuss being serious, being drunk, and being a supportive podcast listener. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and Squarespace!...

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224: Role Play (Live in LA!)
In this episode we discuss belly button lint, STD's, and kissing your mother, live at Resident in Downtown LA! This episode is brought to you by NatureBox and BlueApron....

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223: Sports (w/Mike Karnell!)
Friend/Lover/Brother/Podcaster Mike Karnell joins us to discuss the thrill of victory, and agony of being punched in the face. This episode is brought to you by TrunkClub and MeUndies!...

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222: Baton (w/Bo Burnham!)
Writer/Performer/Peeler Bo Burnham in the house to discuss rich kids, close friends, and his Netflix Comedy Special "Make Happy." This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, TrunkClub, and HeadSpace!...

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221: Video Games (w/Sam Reich!)
Friend and lover Sam Reich finally joins us! We discuss height, humanity, and stinky buttholes. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox (http://bit.ly/1idZxFp) and MeUndies (http://bit.ly/ifiwereundies)...

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220: Peeing Outside
In this episode we discuss teaching lessons, religious loopholes, and our trip to New Zealand. This episode is brought to you by Casper: http://bit.ly/ifiwerecasper BlueApron: http://cook.ba/1C7dsXK and Headspace: http://bit.ly/1YJfZmT...

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219: Olive Oil (w/Billy and Adam!)
Friends and Fellow HeadGum Podcasters, Billy Scafuri and Adam Lustick join us to talk about grinding, gaming, and garage doors. This episode is brought to you by TrunkClub and MeUndies....

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218: Choking
In this episode we discuss auto-erotic asphyxiation and sibling lookalikes. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, HeadSpace, and TheTracker!...

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217: Let's Go! (w/Hoodie Allen!)
Rapper and Friend Hoodie Allen joins us to discuss gold diggers, summer camps, and whiskey dicks. This episode is brought to you by TheTracker, BlueApron, and Squarespace....

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216: Cool Snack
In this episode we discuss coffeeshops, immortality, and partying with your dad. This episode is brought to you by HeadSpace and MeUndies!...

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215: Prom Season
In this episode we discuss prom night, prom-posals, and prom-ises that were meant to be broken. This episode is brought to you by TheTracker.com, Squarespace, and BlueApron!...

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214: Sex Dream (w/Rahul Kohli!)
Actor and friend Rahul Kohli joins us to discuss James Bond, astrology, and going dutch. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and Trunk Club!...

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213: Lactose Intolerant
In this episode we discuss perfect endings, new beginnings, and the loneliest places on earth. This episode is brought to you by HeadSpace, ScoreBig, and Squarespace!...

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212: Tampon (w/Ariana Madix!)
Actor/Friend Ariana Madix joins us to discuss fiancées, divorcées, and Vanderpump Rules. This episode is brought to you by TheTracker.com, MeUndies, and BlueApron!...

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211: Phone vs. Wallet
In this episode we discuss trains, shows, and highly gifted teens. This episode is brought to you by ScoreBig.com, HeadSpace, and Squarespace!...

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210: Lonely and Horny
In this episode we discuss anxiety, manners, and our new show! This episode is brought to you by TrunkClub and BlueApron!...

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209: Friend Group (w/Lauren Lapkus!)
Comedian/Actor/Friend Lauren Lapkus joins us to discuss TV shows, long distance relationships, and Jurassic World. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and TheTracker.com...

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208: Nerd Cave (w/Caldwell and Nathan!)
Friends/illustrators Caldwell and Nathan join us to discuss guilty pleasures, anime, and adultery. This episode is brought to you by ScoreBig, Squarespace, and Headspace!...

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207: Beehive
In this episode we discuss unspectacular vernacular and when to hit on somebody. This episode is brought to you by TheTracker.com, MeUndies.com, and 2FFilms.net!...

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206: Chex (Live in Austin w/ Ben Schwartz!)
Yes dude! Comedian and Friend Ben Schwartz joins us on stage to discuss honesty, self-esteem, and average penis size. This episode is brought to you by BlueApron, Headspace, and Squarespace....

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205: Special Announcement
No sponsors, no questions, no answers. Just a special message about our new project!...

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204: Sexy Gift
In this episode we discuss protein bars, full disclosure, and dating apps. This episode is brought to you by TheTracker.com and MeUndies.com!...

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203: Thick Skin (w/Daren and Will!)
Friends, comedians, and fellow HeadGum podcasters Daren Von Girdner and William Haynes join us to discuss bad roommates, loud sex, and our upcoming shows in Austin! This episode is brought to you by HeadSpace, Squarespace, and Ring.com!...

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202: Mixed Signals
In this episode we discuss traveling alone and partying with others. This episode is brought to you by HeadSpace and NatureBox!...

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201: Search Terms (w/Shane Dawson!)
Actor/comdian/YouTuber Shane Dawson joins us to discuss porn preferences and pessimism. This episode is brought to you by TIDAL and Soylent!...

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Yes Dude (w/Ben Schwartz!)
Comedian/Friend/Lover Ben Schwartz joins us on this milestone episode to discuss DM's, Snapchat, and sitcoms. This episode is brought to you by Ring.com, BlueApron.com, and MeUndies.com!...

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199: Homework (w/Brian Murphy!)
Murph is back! And he joins us to discuss being a 90's kid and songs that will pump you up. This episode is brought to you by TIDAL, and NatureBox.com!...

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198: Peyton Manning
In this episode we discuss being funny, being nine, and our Super Bowl billboard bet. This episode is brought to you by Soylent and ClubW.com!...

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197: Mormon Mama (w/ Laura Hurwitz!)
Jake's mother joins us to discuss ex-girlfriends, gay boyfriends, and getting into Yale. This bonus Thursday episode is brought to you by Ring.com, Squarespace.com and TrueGrowers.com!...

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196: Don't Do That
In this episode we discuss tattoo removal, time travel, and the first HeadGum Podcast Festival in Austin, TX! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and Leesa.com!...

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195: Caviar
In this episode we discuss football, pseudonyms, and skeleton keys. This episode is brought to you by ClubW, NatureBox, and CreditKarma!...

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194: Get At It (w/ iJustine!)
Internet star and new friend Justine Ezarik joins us to discuss tattoos, calling dibs, and DJ Dogs. This bonus Thursday episode is brought to you by Ring.com and BlueApron.com!...

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193: Game Boy
In this episode we discuss bacne, community college and Swing. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and Leesa!...

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192: Surge Dude
In this episode we discuss flirting, the future, and 360 degree cameras. This episode is brought to you by Headspace, ClubW, and CreditKarma!...

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191: The Emotionary (w/Eden Sher!)
Actress and friend Eden Sher joins us to discuss new movies, new words, and staying hydrated. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, Leesa, and BlueApron!...

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190: Best of 2015
In this episode we revisit our favorite bits, answers, and theme songs from the last year. This episode is brought to you by Headspace, Skurt, and NatureBox!...

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189: Silver Lining
In this episode we discuss losing your virginity, breaking up, and our TV pilot. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, Leesa, and ClubW!...

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188: Red Dot (w/Jonathan, Jerah, and James III!)
Friends and hosts of "Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood" join us to discuss ghosting, fading away, and unread texts! This one is a party. This episode is brought to you by SkurtApp.com, BirkSun, and ClubW!...

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Bonus Episode: J&A on Twinnovation
Our appearance on the "Twinnovation" Podcast! Hosted by Dave & Jeff Rosenberg, and Mike Karnell, "Twinnovation" is another show on the HeadGum network. If you've never heard their show, this is a good first episode. New episodes every Friday on HeadGum.com!...

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187: Old Bully (live in Brooklyn!)
In this episode we discuss Serbia, Yu-Gi-Oh! and masturbation injuries. Recorded at "The Hall at MP" in Williamsburg, BK! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, Leesa, and Squarespace!...

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186: Polyamory (w/Elliott Morgan!)
Comedian/Actor/Writer/Host Elliott Morgan is in the house to discuss butts, crushes, and love triangles. This episode is brought to you by BeekeepersNaturals, BirkSun, and ThrowBoy.com!...

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185: Turtles and Honey
In this episode we discuss Nick Jonas, morality, and bees. This episode is brought to you by ClubW, Leesa, and Unroll.Me!...

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184: Parental Love (w/Dannielle and Claire!)
Fellow HeadGum podcasters/friends Dannielle Owens-Reid and Claire Beitcher stop by to discuss obesity, sibling rivalry, and why Amir will die alone. This episode is brought to you by TIDAL and MeUndies!...

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183: Filet-o-Fish (w/Billy Scafuri!)
Friend and comedian Billy Scafuri joins us to discuss McDonalds, semen, and fighting. This episode is brought to you by Unroll.Me, ClubW, and Squarespace!...

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182: Halloween
In this episode we discuss strippers, costumes, and hangovers. Brought to you by MeUndies and NatureBox!...

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181: Flying Bull (live at the Irvine Improv!)
In this episode we discuss scary questions, terrible jobs, and solar decathlons. Plus a call from a friend. All live at the Irvine Improv in Irvine, CA! This episode is brought to you by ClubW, BlueApron, and Ball Park Flame Grilled Jerky....

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180: Baldness
In this BONUS THURSDAY Episode we discuss roommates, Rory, and the end of TextJake.com... This episode is brought to you by Ball Park Flame Grilled Jerky!...

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179: Hickey (w/Laura and Angela)
Friends and fellow HeadGum podcasters Laura Lane and Angela Spera stop by to give advice on texting, flirting, and your sex number. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, Naturebox, and MeUndies....

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178: Divorce (w/UTK!)
Friend/rapper/actor Utkarsh Ambudkar joins us to discuss threesomes, basketball, and being called "daddy." This episode is brought to you by ClubW, BlueApron, and Ball Park Flame Grilled Jerky!...

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177: Cocaine (Live From Toronto!)
In this episode we discuss drugs, fantasies, and the perfect man -- live from Just For Laughs comedy fest in Toronto! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, MeUndies, and NatureBox!...

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176: Fantasy (w/Emily Gordon!)
Former therapist, current writer/comedy producer Emily Gordon joins us to discuss breaking up, farting, and her new book, "Super You!" This episode is brought to you by DollarShaveClub, and CreditKarma....

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175: Moon Facts
In this episode we discuss droughts, jupiter, and geography. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, MeUndies, and Squarespace....

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174: Romance
In this episode we discuss first dates, haircuts, and spiritual healing. This episode is brought to you by DollarShaveClub.com, BlueApron, and Credit Karma!...

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173: Heroin
In this episode we discuss facial hair, hard drugs, and party horns. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox and NextIssue.com!...

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172: Airplane Romance (w/Jon Gabrus!)
Friend/comedian/fellow HeadGum Podcaster Jon Gabrus joins us to discuss friendship, fire, fitness, and flying. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies and Squarespace!...

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171: Soulmate (w/Julia Nunes!)
Friend and musician (and fellow podcaster!) Julia Nunes joins us to discuss true love, nude pics, and fanny packs. This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks and NextIssue...

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170: Hairy Butthole
In this episode we discuss adultery, pornography, and being a man. This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks, Squarespace, and BlueApron!...

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169: Lightning Round
In this BONUS THURSDAY episode we try to get through as many questions as possible in one hour. It is our first (and perhaps last?) lightning round. This episode is brought to you by NextIssue.com and CreditKarma...

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168: Where's the Beef
In this episode we discuss prostitution, honesty, and being a doctor. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox and MeUndies!...

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167: Secrets
In this episode we discuss privacy, virginity, and our pilot! This episode is brought to you by BlueApron, BetaBrand, and Squarespace....

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166: HeadGum
In this episode we discuss cocaine and our new podcast network! This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, BespokePost.com and MeUndies.com!...

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165: League (Live from Montreal!)
In this episode we discuss stupidity, pregnancies, and fantasies with a special friend, live from Montreal! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com and MileIQ!...

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164: Stinky Pets
In this episode we discuss turtles, threesomes, and The Bachelor. This episode is brought to you by BetaBrand.com and CreditKarma!...

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163: Ugly Hot
In this episode we discuss inner beauty, outer beauty, and long distance relationships. This episode is brought to you by BespokePost.com, NatureBox.com, and MeUndies.com!...

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162: Anti Drug
In this episode we discuss investing, marijuana, and the best cities in America. This episode is brought to you by MileIQ, BollAndBranch, and BlueApron!...

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161: Honor (w/Dan Gurewitch!)
Friend and "Last Week Tonight" writer Dan Gurewitch joins us to discuss jealousy, office romance, and making jokes about the news. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, TrunkClub, and MeUndies!...

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160: Memory
In this episode we discuss Instagram, marijuana, and obviously Matt Damon. This episode is brought to you by BollAndBranch.com and CreditKarma.com!...

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159: Best of Australia
In this episode we share our best questions and answers from our shows in Australia! We also talk about Matt Damon. This episode is brought to you by Prosper.com!...

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158: Matt Damon
In this episode we discuss eating habits, group sex, and Matt Damon. This episode is brought to you by CreditKarma.com, MeUndies.com, and Squarespace.com!...

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157: Tile and Ring
In this episode we discuss new friends and old flames. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, TrunkClub.com and Prosper.com!...

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156: Raven Nest
In this episode we discuss apologies, dream homes, and sloths. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com and MeUndies.com...

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155: Carpets (w/Rose McIver!)
Actress/Friend Rose McIver joins us to discuss dating down under and dangerous fish! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and Prosper.com!...

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154: Truth or Dare
In this episode we discuss drinking alone, double dating, and our TV pilot! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and TrunkClub.com...

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153: Mint (live at the Improv!)
In this episode we discuss cool kids, calling cards, and guns. Recorded live at the Improv in Hollywood, CA! This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com and Squarespace.com!...

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152: Litmus Test
In this episode we discuss when to break up, when to stay together, and demons. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, TrunkClub.com, and Squarespace.com!...

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151: Spicy (w/Alana Haim!)
Musician Alana Haim joins us to discuss terrible people and awesome names. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and Prosper.com!...

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150: Prom
In this episode we discuss weddings, anniversaries, and high school dances. This episode is brought to you by DollarShaveClub.com!...

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149: Orgy (Live at Duke U!)
In this episode we discuss glitter, jealousy, and group sex. Recorded live at Duke University. This episode is brought to you by TrunkClub.com and Prosper.com!...

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148: Master
In this episode we discuss Instagram, accidents, and elders. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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147: Strangling (w/Jon Wolf!)
Jon "Global" Wolf joins us to discuss heights, bites, and fights. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, DraftKings, and DollarShaveClub!...

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146: End of an Era
In this episode we discuss emotional cheating, physical cheating, and the future. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, TrunkClub.com, and Prosper.com...

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145: Stage Kiss
In this episode we discuss rebound relationships and masturbating in public. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, DraftKings.com, and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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144: Heart to Heart (w/Thomas Middleditch!)
Comedian/Friend Thomas Middleditch is back to discuss friendship, art, and video games! This episode is brought to you by DraftKings.com and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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143: Spelling Bee
In this episode we discuss tidy rooms, burner phones, and maneuverability. This episode is brought to you by TrunkClub.com, Squarespace.com, and Prosper.com!...

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142: Fake Sex (w/Ben Schwartz!)
Comedian/Actor/Friend Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss on screen romance. This episode is brought to you by Bombas.com, RetailMeNot, and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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141: Chivalry (w/Ben Schwartz!)
Comedian/Actor/Friend Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss courtship and comedy. This episode is brought to you by RetailMeNot.com, TrunkClub.com, and MeUndies.com!...

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140: Australia
In this episode we discuss terrible girlfriends and our tour down under! This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com and Squarespace.com!...

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139: Get Weird (w/George Basil !)
Friend/Actor/Comedian George Basil joins us to discuss attraction and parenting. This episode is brought to you by Bombas.com and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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138: Sitcoms
In this episode we discuss hairy legs, double dates, and Jake's perfect porn. This episode is brought to you by TrunkClub.com, MeUndies.com, and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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137: Shower Sex (w/ Lil Dicky!)
Rapper Lil Dicky joins us to discuss masturbation, basketball, and getting older. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, Audible, and Prosper.com!...

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136: Male Stripper
In this episode we discuss how to change your lover and dating Nicki Minaj. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com, DollarShaveClub.com, and TaxAct.com!...

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135: Attraction (with Laura Hurwitz!)
Jake's mama joins us to discuss protesting, parents, and her new novel! This episode is brought to you by BlueApron.com, MeUndies.com, and TaxAct.com...

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134: Toothbrush
In this episode we discuss proms, raps, and apps. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, Squarespace.com, and Berries.com!...

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133: Bro-Job
In this episode we discuss bad Tinder dates and worse friends. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, BlueApron.com, and Berries.com!...

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132: Taylor Swift (Live from Austin!)
In this episode we discuss lawsuits, sexuality, and our SuperBowl bet -- live from Austin, Texas! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, Vegas.com, and TaxAct.com!...

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131: #GreenlightJakeAndAmir
In this episode we discuss our future, our past, and our present. Also, asexuality. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com, BlueApron.com, and Audible.com!...

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130: Sexual Training
In this episode we discuss leaving people, teaching people, and hugging people. This episode is brought to you by BlueApron.com, Berries.com, and TaxAct.com!...

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129: Especially You
In this episode we discuss making friends and breaking hearts. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, Vegas.com, BlueApron.com, and TheBouqs.com...

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128: Herpes
In this episode we discuss ESP and STD's. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, TheBouqs.com, and TaxAct.com...

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127: Missing Dad (with Patrick Cassels!)
Our friend Pat Cassels joins us to discuss family dinners and very long distance relationships. This episode is brought to you by MottAndBow.com, SquareSpace.com, TheBouqs.com, and TaxAct.com!...

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126: Platonic Cuddling
In this episode we discuss strippers, snap chatters, and cuddle buddies. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, Vegas.com, and DraftKings.com...

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125: Get a Massage
In this episode we discuss being cool, social media, and breaking up with your best friend. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and TaxAct.com!...

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124: Racism
In this episode we discuss our new years resolutions and where to have sex. This episode is brought to you by TheBouqs.com and DraftKings.com!...

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123: Best of 2014
In this episode, our favorite questions and answers from the past year. This episode is brought to you by TheBouqs.com and DraftKings.com!...

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122: Gay Barber
In this episode we discuss honest assholes, jealous lovers, and desperate measures. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com!...

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121: Peach Fuzz (with Emily Axford!)
In this episode we discuss facial hair, greedy friends, and high school crushes. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, DraftKings.com, and Prosper.com!...

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120: Cucumber
In this episode we discuss texting lovers and trusting others. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and Audible.com!...

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119: The Wolf
In this episode we discuss good hobbies and bad friends. This episode is brought to you by Casper.com and DraftKings.com...

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118: Stinky
In this episode we discuss hobbies, honesty, and prematurely breaking up. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, CombatGent.com, and BarkBox.com!...

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117: Stomping
In this episode we discuss fetishes, farts, and falling out of love. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, Prosper.com and the movie Unfinished Business....

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116: Eat Your Heart Out (Live from the Hollywood Improv!)
In this episode we discuss being drunk in love and settling for second best, live at the Hollywood Improv! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, BarkBox.com, and DraftKings.com...

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115: Groupies
In this episode we discuss/sing about jealousy and genital surgery. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, Prosper.com, and DraftKings.com....

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114: Hickey (with Streeter Seidell!)
Comedian/friend Streeter Seidell joins us to discuss laundry, car accidents and the Beastie Boys. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and DraftKings.com....

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113: Bad Skin (with Jon Gabrus!)
Comedian and friend Jon Gabrus joins us to discuss discuss acne, trinkets, and communes. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, MeUndies, and Prosper.com!...

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112: TextJake.com
In this episode we discuss our newest business: A website that allows Jake to make text suggestions for you! This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com....

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111: Clam Dip (with Dave Rosenberg!)
Our special friend Dave Rosenberg joins us to discuss working out, jealousy, and his grandma's secret recipe. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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110: Lie Forever
In this episode we discuss threesomes, feline murder, and God. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and Prosper.com...

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109: Military Men
In this episode we discuss army men, online dating, and anal sex. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com, MeUndies.com, and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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108: Park Sex
In this episode we discuss Instagram, cool kids, and public displays of affection. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com and Audible.com!...

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107: Farting (with Bobby Lee!)
Actor/Comedian Bobby Lee joins us to discuss passing gas, doing drugs, and the perfect Tinder profile. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, Prosper.com, and DollarShaveClub.com!...

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106: Phone Case (live from L.A. Podfest!)
In this episode we discuss frat parties, birthday gifts, and young love. This episode is brought to you by DollarShaveClub.com and MeUndies.com!...

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105: Vibrator (with Milana Vayntrub!)
Comedian/Friend Milana Vayntrub joins us to discuss feminism, spirituality, and the future of masturbation. This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom.com and Ting.com....

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104: Berlin
In this episode we discuss freshman year romance, saving yourself for marriage, and fantasy football. This episode is brought to you by Ting.com and Stamps.com!...

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103: Psychic (Live from Manchester!)
We discuss street artists, house gifts, and sleeping with somebody you hate. Recorded at The Lowry in Manchester, UK! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com and Brooklyn 99 on Fox!...

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102: Plane Crash
In this episode we discuss dirty texts, safe sex, and peace in the Middle East. This episode is brought to you Ting.com for lower cell phone bills, and Stamps.com for post office avoidance....

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101: Bag of Poop (with Mike Schaubach)
Our wise friend Mike Schaubach joins us to discuss vengeance, marriage, and poop. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com and MeUndies.com!...

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100: Family Fiction (with Ben Schwartz and Thomas Middleditch!)
Ben Schwartz AND Thomas Middleditch join us on our 100th episode! They advise, they sing, and they... get real. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com and Squarespace.com!...

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99: Violence (with Brian Murphy)
Brian "Murph" Murphy joins us to discuss hurting people emotionally and physically. Mostly physically. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, MeUndies.com, and HuluPlus.com!...

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98: Underwear (with Thomas Middleditch)
Friend and star of "Silicon Valley" Thomas Middleditch joins us to discuss technology, fidelity, and stealing underwear. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com, SlugBooks.com, and MeUndies.com!...

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97: Break Up
In this episode we discuss making the band, breaking the band, and taking demands. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com and HuluPlus.com!...

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96: The Fly (w/ Sarah Schneider!)
Our friend Sarah Schneider joins us to discuss underwear, oral sex, and the fear of rejection. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com, Slugbooks.com, and MeUndies.com!...

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95: Minnesota
In this episode we discuss new love, old photos, and dealing drugs. This BONUS THURSDAY episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com -- comfortable, affordable underwear....

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94: Ex-Girlfriends
In this episode we discuss weddings, parties, and inventions. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com and SlugBooks.com!...

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93: Weird Name
In this episode we discuss taking drugs and being yourself. This bonus Thursday episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com -- Delicious snacks delivered right to your home!...

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92: Cookies
In this episode we discuss texting girls, swiping guys, and renting cars. This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks.com and Harrys.com!...

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91: Meddling
In this episode we discuss honesty, honestly. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com! The easiest way to create an awesome website....

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90: Nipple Ring
In this episode we discuss body piercing, evil birds, and fleshlights. This episode is brought to you by TeePublic.com -- our home for official "If I Were You" t-shirts!...

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89: One Less Problem (with Ben Schwartz)
Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss... whatever the hell he wants. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com and AVG Cleaner....

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88: Walmart (with Eliza Hurwitz)
Jake's little sister Eliza joins us to discuss texting and driving. But not at the same time. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox -- Delicious, nutritious snacks delivered to your door!...

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87: Racist Opinions
In this episode we discuss love in your teens and life in your twenties. Also racism. This episode is brought to you by LootCrate.com and AVG Cleaner....

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86: Instagram (with Hoodie Allen)
Rapper/Friend Hoodie Allen joins us to discuss social media, jealousy, and of course, prostitution. This episode is brought to you by LootCrate.com! An epic monthly subscription box for geeks and gamers for under $20....

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85: Homophobia
In this episode we discuss tolerance, pseudonyms, and bro-gifts. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- the best way to create a website, and LootCrate.com -- An epic monthly subscription box for geeks and gamers for under $20...

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84: Everybody Snoops (with Allison Williams)
"Girls" star Allison Williams joins us again to discuss jealousy, pornography, and why dogs are good. This episode is brought to you by LootCrate.com -- an epic monthly subscription box for geeks and gamers for under $20....

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83: Meredith
In this episode we discuss shaving, dying, and orgasms. While singing. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com! The best, easiest, simplest way to make a professional looking website....

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82: Baby Dick (Live at the Hollywood Improv!)
In this episode we discuss nicknames, premature ejaculation, and slam poetry. This episode is brought to you by SquareSpace.com -- The best, most affordable way to create a professional looking website....

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81: Hot Pizza
In this episode we discuss whether you should sleep with somebody your friends have already slept with, and also pornography....

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80: Ultimatum
In this episode we discuss marijuana, tattoos, and nude pics....

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79: Persistence
In this episode we discuss the trials and tribulations of being attractive, and joining a new podcast network! This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com! The best way to discover new music on your computer or iPhone....

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78: Steroids (with Rick Fox And Kyle Fox)
Three time NBA Champion Rick Fox and his son join us to discuss performance enhancing drugs, condoms, and canine theft. This episode is brought to you by Audible.com -- the worlds largest selection of audio books. Support our show and get your first book FOR FREE by clicking here: http://bit.ly/1jL8RLX...

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77: Mother's Day/Butt Plugs
In this episode we discuss moms, ukeleles, and stinky situations. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- the easiest way to build a professional looking website! Check them out: http://bit.ly/17DIXqW...

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76: Bowl Cut (with Streeter Seidell)
Our buddy Streeter joins us to discuss bisexual boyfriends and globetrotting girlfriends. Thanks to OurTunez for sponsoring this BONUS THURSDAY episode! An awesome free way to discover new music, on your iPhone or computer: http://bit.ly/1fNA7ul...

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75: Harry Potter (with Dave Rosenberg)
Our boy Dave Rosenberg joins us to discuss breaking up, strip clubs, and tattoos. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com! Delicious, nutritious snacks delivered TO YOU. Use our coupon code for 50% off your first box: http://bit.ly/1idZxFp...

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74: Ladies Night
In this episode we discuss crushes, pronunciation, and calling out the wrong person's name in bed. This episode is brought to you by CombatGent.com -- Tailored suits starting at $160! Use coupon code "jakeandamir" and get a free tie with any purchase: bit.ly/1ezhbTN...

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73: Horoscope
In this episode we discuss nicknames, sex buddies, and how to hit a woman. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- bit.ly/17DIXqW. The best, easiest, smartest way to build a website without knowing how to do anything!...

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72: Gifts
In this episode we discuss how to pleasure women physically, and men emotionally. This episode is brought to you by CombatGent.com -- Tailored suits starting at $160! Use coupon code "jakeandamir" and get a free tie with any purchase: http://bit.ly/1ezhbTN...

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71: Sim Cheating (with Thomas Middleditch)
Silicon Valley's Thomas Middleditch joins us to discuss mustaches, break-ups, and virtual world problems. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox! Delicious, nutritious snacks delivered to your door. Use promo code "ifiwereyou" for 50% off your first box! http://bit.ly/1idZxFp...

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70: One Word Texts
In this episode we discuss text messages, breaking up, and great ideas. This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com -- The best way to discover new music, and get paid for uploading your own! Check out www.ourtunez.com/ifiwereyou and use promo code "Jake" or "Amir" for FREE six month premium membership....

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69: Mom
In this episode we discuss dimes, mothers, and Dave Rosenberg. This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com -- The best way to discover new music, and get paid for uploading your own! Check out http://www.ourtunez.com/ifiwereyou and use promo code "Jake" or "Amir" for FREE six month premium membership....

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68: Hemorrhoids
In this episode we discuss boobs, watches, and anal discomfort. This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount -- http://zoo.mn/GPfH89...

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67: Howdy (with Dave Rosenberg)
Our dear friend Dave Rosenberg, the master blaster, joins us to discuss wet snuggling, overprotective parents, and near death experiences. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- http://bit.ly/17DIXqW. The best, easiest, smartest way to build a website without knowing how to do anything!...

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66: Hoodwinked (with Jeff Rosenberg And Rose McIver)
Our friends Jeff "Rosie" Rosenberg and Rose "Rosie" McIver join us to discuss stealing, scamming, and sleepy sex. This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom.com! check out LegalZoom.com for all your businessy problems... http://zoo.mn/GPfH89...

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65: Nice Guys Finish Last
In this episode we discuss ghosts, sneezing, and Seal. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox -- Delicious/nutritious snacks delivered to your home! Check them out: bit.ly/1idZxFp...

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64: Cat Noises (with Rose McIver)
Friend/Neighbor/Actor Rose McIver joins us to discuss flowers, bigotry, and prostitution. This episode is brought to you by FlagLocate.com -- the best and easiest way to let your friends know where you are. Check them out here: http://bit.ly/1gDOmkV...

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63: Porn Browser
In this episode we discuss clothing, computers, and colonics. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- the easiest, best, most affordable way to build your own website: bit.ly/17DIXqW...

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62: Phone Thief
In this episode we discuss cafeteria crushes, Counting Crows, and terrible teachers... This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- the easiest, best, most affordable way to build your own website: bit.ly/17DIXqW...

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61: Polyamory (with Josh Ruben)
Comedian/Actor/Friend Josh Ruben joins us for this BONUS Thursday episode to discuss moving out, marriage, and trendy restaurants. This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount -- zoo.mn/GPfH89...

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60: Butthole (with Thomas Middleditch)
In this episode actor/comedian/friend/lover Thomas Middleditch joins us to discuss jealousy, intelligence, and buttholes. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox -- Delicious/nutritious snacks delivered to your home! Check them out: http://bit.ly/1idZxFp...

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59: Preach
In this BONUS THURSDAY episode we discuss whether or not books make for good gifts, and also anal sex. This episode is brought to you by NiceLaundry.com -- high quality socks, for very low prices. Do us a favor and check 'em out -- http://bit.ly/NLJakeAmir...

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58: Immune To Sex (Live At UCB Theatre in LA!)
In this episode we discuss sexting, flappy bird, and respecting your elders -- recorded live at UCB Theatre in Los Angeles! This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount -- zoo.mn/GPfH89...

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57: Confidence
In this episode we discuss how to win a fight, how to accept a gift, and how to estimate the size of a penis. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- the easiest, best, most affordable way to build your own website: http://bit.ly/17DIXqW...

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56: Business Ideas
In this episode we discuss climbing and grandmas. Then we make a SuperBowl bet. This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount -- http://zoo.mn/GPfH89...

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55: Wet Dream
In this episode we discuss cowardly males, condo mishaps, and Kik messages. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.com -- the easiest, most affordable way to build your own website/portfolio/online store -- http://bitly.com/17DIXqW...

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54: Rap Love
In this episode we discuss hip-hop, haters, and taking somebody back. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox! Deliciously affordable snacks delivered to your home for just $20 a month! And for now you can click here for 50% off your first box: http://bit.ly/1idZxFp...

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53: Shot Through The Heart (with Ben Schwartz)
Our buddy Ben Schwartz returns for another episode of discussing, advising, and of course, singing. This episode is brought to you by NiceLaundry.com -- http://bit.ly/NLJakeAmir -- Awesome socks. Cheap prices. Free shipping. Highly recommended. Check'em out!...

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52: Steroids (with Ben Schwartz)
Comedian and friend Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss social anxiety, family obligations, and how to write without writing. This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks.com! If you're wondering how to get your college textbooks for cheap this semester, simply check out SlugBooks.com/Amir or SlugBooks.com/Jake for your answer!...

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51: Stay Friends
In this episode we discuss religion, chivalry, and the Oedipal Complex. This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount....

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50: Swinging
In this episode we discuss rejection, trust, and how to sleep with your friends girlfriend. This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks.com! Check out SlugBooks.com/Amir or SlugBooks.com/Jake for the cheapest way to get college textbooks. (And awesome versions of us as cartoon logos.)...

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49: Jewish (with Micah Hurwitz)
Jake's little brother joins us to discuss religion, ex-boyfriends, and breaking Jake's nose. This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks.com! Don't ever pay full price for college textbooks again -- just go to SlugBooks.com/Amir or SlugBooks.com/Jake to buy and save....

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48: Best Of 2013
In this episode we replay our favorite answers and theme songs from our first 47 episodes. Thanks to everybody who has ever tuned in to our show. Much love and happy holidays everybody!...

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47: Cheating
In this episode we disagree on whether or not drinking is a valid excuse to be a terrible person, and also buying gifts for porn stars. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir for access to thousands of movies and TV Shows: bit.ly/1aJaQzw This episode is ALSO brought to you by 20Jeans.com! Twenty dollar jeans and other awesomely affordable high quality clothes: bit.ly/152P612...

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46: Christmas Gift
In this episode we discuss second chances, sexy clothes, and the perfect gift. This episode is brought to you by SquareSpace! Easiest way to build a website or online store, ever: http://bit.ly/17DIXqW...

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45: Gotye
In this episode we discuss best friends, worst gifts, and the art of being rejected. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir for access to thousands of movies and TV Shows: bit.ly/1aJaQzw This episode is ALSO brought to you by 20Jeans.com! Twenty dollar jeans and other awesomely affordable high quality clothes: bit.ly/152P612...

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44: Awkward
In this episode we discuss study buddies, masturbating, and how to act normal. This episode is brought to you by WarbyParker.com -- awesome eyewear for super low prices, and now they have gift cards! Use WarbyParker.com/Amir for free expedited shipping....

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43: Guys Suck
In this episode we discuss Christmas gifts, female roommates, and why guys are the worst. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir for access to thousands of movies and TV Shows: http://bit.ly/1aJaQzw This episode is ALSO brought to you by 20Jeans.com! Twenty dollar jeans and other awesomely affordable high quailty clothes: http://bit.ly/152P612...

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42: Paranoid
In this episode we discuss fianc�s, fugliness, and foreskins. This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com! bit.ly/1fNA7ul . Discover new music, upload your music, make money, and win a trip to Bonnaroo, all in one magical website......

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41: Aunt
In this episode we discuss embarrassing relatives, emotional cheating, and teenage love. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com -- http://bit.ly/1aJaQzw. Check 'em out for two free weeks of movies/ television shows/ and original content!...

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40: Sugar Daddy
In this episode we discuss prostitution, first dates, and bad gift ideas. This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com! bit.ly/1fNA7ul . Discover new music, upload your music, and make money from your music all in one magical website......

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39: Facebook Official (with Streeter Seidell)
In this episode we discuss masturbation, pornography, and Amir's driving skills. Or lack thereof. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir for two free weeks of movies and televisions shows. That is, if you like TV and movies......

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38: Jealousy
In this episode we discuss envy, threesome, and vibrators. In that order. This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com! http://bit.ly/1fNA7ul . Discover new music, upload your music, and make money from your music! Why the heck not......

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37: The FriendZone
In this episode we discuss coincidences, confidences, and why the infamous "friend zone" doesn't actually exist. This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount....

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36: Snail Trail (Live At Littlefield!)
In this episode we discuss suspicious hair, suspicious lovers, and suspicious smells. Recorded in front of a live studio audience at Littlefield bar in Brooklyn, NY! This episode is brought to you by TouchOfModern.com -- cool modern products to upgrade your home: http://bit.ly/1iYurgK...

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35: Merkin (with Allison Williams)
Star of HBO's "Girls" Allison Williams joins us to discuss manscaping, poking, and pornography. This episode is brought to you by SquareSpace! Build your own website/online store in just minutes! It's easy and cheap, especially if you use coupon code "IfIWereYou."...

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34: Dibs
In this episode we discuss how to text a crush, how to make a move, and a new app idea. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com -- http://bit.ly/17A8WkL. For healthy and tasty snacks, delivered to you for free, check them out! And use coupon code "ifiwereyou" for 50% off your first shipment....

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33: Tinder Talk
In this episode Amir finally signs up for Tinder, then we discuss people's Tinder related dilemmas. Tinder. This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount....

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32: Jake's Mom (with Laura Hurwitz)
In this episode, Jake's mom joins us to discuss text messages, ex-girlfriends, and if Jake was always like that. This episode is brought to you by SquareSpace! Build your own website/online store in just minutes! It's easy and cheap, especially if you use coupon code "Jake."...

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31: Texting Casanova
In this episode we discuss texting, pornography, and ugly feet. This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount....

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30: Haehh! (with Patrick Cassels)
CollegeHumor's Pat Cassels joins us this week to discuss Captain Kirk, counting calories, and couples costumes. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com -- http://bit.ly/19QVjfj. For healthy and tasty snacks, delivered to you for free, check them out! And use coupon code "ifiwereyou" for 50% off your first shipment....

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29: Dick And Nipples
In this episode we discuss how to tell if somebody likes you, and how many sexual partners is too many. Also Tinder. This episode is brought to you by SquareSpace.com. Create a website, even an eCommerce store, in minutes! And use coupon code "Jake" for 10% off your order in October....

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28: The Easter Bunny
In this episode we discuss MILFs, ugly ducklings, and Amir's grammar. This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code "Jake" or "Amir" for a discount....

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27: Sex Is Sex (with Pete Holmes Live At ComicCon!)
Comedian Pete Holmes joins us at NYComicCon for our first LIVE podcast recording. We discuss losing your virginity, getting a pet, and chasing your dreams. For more Pete, check out The Pete Holmes Show starting October 28th, midnight after Conan on TBS!...

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26: The Richest Man
In this episode we discuss periods, police and... Shakespeare? This episode is brought to you by NatureBox -- All natural food, delivered to you. Check out naturebox.com and use coupon code "ifiwereyou" for 50% off your first box! Click here: http://bit.ly/1fJcW58...

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25: Waxing (with Emily Axford)
CollegeHumor's Emily Axford joins us to discuss friendship with benefits and the pain of grooming yourself. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace -- the easiest way to create a website. Go to Squarespace.com/ifiwereyou and use coupon code "Amir" for 10% off!...

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24: Braces
In this episode we discuss whether or not it's ever okay to hide your flaws, steal money, or hit a woman. This Bonus Thursday episode is made possible by HuluPlus! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir for a free trial of thousands of TV shows and movies. Every click helps!...

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23: Scientific Study
In this episode we talk about imaginary girlfriends, real boyfriends, and the results of Jake's STD test. This episode is brought to you by Harrys.com -- check out their awesome shaving kits, and use coupon code "ifiwereyou22" for a chance to win free blades for a year!...

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22: Threesome
In this episode we discuss war, religion, and sexuality. You know, light topics. This bonus Thursday episode is made possible by HuluPlus! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir to show your appreciation... And to see thousands of TV shows and movies....

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21: The Weiner Game
In this episode we discuss blackmail, breaking the ice, and believing in yourself. The big three. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace -- the easiest way to create a website. Go to Squarespace.com/ifiwereyou and use coupon code "Amir" for 20% off. Offer expires at the end of September....

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