No Such Thing As A Fish

No Such Thing As A Fish Podcast

A podcast from the QI offices in which the writers of the hit BBC show huddle around a microphone and discuss the best things they've found out this week. Hosted by Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) with James Harkin (@jamesharkin), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), and Anna Ptaszynski (#GetAnnaOnTwitter)

Episode 297: No Such Thing As A Shrimp Conga
Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the loudest birds on earth, the astronaut who ate shrimp cocktail 48 times in a row, and who really gave us all syphilis. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet Dancer
Live from Philadelphia, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss crash test moose, radioactive slippers, and the multi-presidential inventor of chewing gum. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette
Live from Boston, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Bastard baguettes Saddam Hussein's campaign song, and the first ever criminal to be put in Boston's stocks. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....


Episode 294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working Week
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hand-drawn stockings, raccoon-damaged temples, and the doomsday aircraft destroyed by a single bird. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling Fan
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss prehistoric sippy-cups, Rasputin's litigious assassins, and the coolest ever publicity stunt. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss four facts taken from The Book Of The Year 2019, including Greta Thunberg's adventurous middle name, the polling station with only one voter, and the worst way to dispose of a speeding ticket. The Book Of The Year 2019 is out now! Amazon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Year-2019-Such-Thing/dp/1786332019 Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/gb/book/the-book-of-the-year-2019/id1462378633 Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....


Episode 289: No Such Thing As A Horse Called Brian
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss leaping maggots, the point of motion sickness and why you shouldn't put on too much red lipstick. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....


Episode 288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss elephantine super-sniffing, Thomas Jefferson's version of the Bible, and André the Giant's all-night bender. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven
Live from Antwerp, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss diamond vacuums, North Korean app stores, and what happens when you give an elephant a gold enema. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the invention of ball pits, a fisherman's unluckiest fruit, and how the internet was nearly  called The Information Mine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....


Episode 284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti Bones
Live from Paris, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss odour-analysing t-shirts, New York under meteor attack, and self-pricking porcupines. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....

Episode 283: No Such Thing As A Lost Shadow
Live from Geneva, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss selling shadows, exploding aphids and the emerging blimp driving industry. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes....


Episode 282: No Such Thing As A Bored Shrew
Live from Copenhagen, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss Bjorn Borg's karate-tennis instructor, singing teachers for canaries, and what happens when a shrew gets brain-freeze....



Episode 274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudest babies....





Episode 262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle
Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington's cattle semen trading board game....


Episode 259: No Such Thing As Flyagra
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus...







Episode 244: No Such Thing As A Fishman
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums....


Episode 240: No Such Thing As An Easy Tweet
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London....


Episode 238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa
Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world's worst poetry recital, where all the world's hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5....



Episode 230: No Such Thing As Tinder For Sloths
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths)....






Episode 216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War
Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war....

Episode 215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled Team
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race....







Episode 199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat
Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps....


Merry Fishmas!
A special Christmas Day extract from the audiobook version of The Book Of The Year....




189: Episode 189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-Utan
Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen's nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again....


Episode 185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow
Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford's BFFs, how planes (don't) cure deafness, and why you shouldn't eat Scottish show....




Episode 177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen's biggest product [hint: it's not cars]....




Episode 168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead
In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya....

Episode 167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hint: don't eat it)....





Episode 156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never really heard Churchill's famous speeches....

Episode 155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson's johnson shower and the Old People Forecast...




Episode 147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace....

Episode 146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral....


Episode 145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three
A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News....



Episode 139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy
Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use....

Episode 138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island
Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool....



Episode 133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate....






Episode 117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief....


Episode 114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn't been discovered yet....


Episode 111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birthday presents....



No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special
In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto....


NSTAAF International Factball: South Korea v Ghana
South Korea v Ghana: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifteenth and final episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Alex Bell (@alexbell_) pit South Korea against Ghana to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Iran v Argentina v Ecuador
Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today in this never-before-tried three-way special, Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Freddy Soames (@fsoames), pit Iran against Argentina against Ecuador to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Greece v Japan
Greece v Japan: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the thirteenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped), John Mitchinson (@johnmitchinson) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Greece against Japan to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....


NSTAAF International Factball: Australia v Mexico
Australia v Mexico: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the twelfth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Bell (@alexbell_) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Australia against Mexico to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: USA v Russia
USA v Russia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eleventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Edelman (@alex_edelman) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Bosnia v Nigeria
Bosnia v Nigeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the tenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Bosnia against Nigeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....


NSTAAF International Factball: Italy v Switzerland
Italy v Switzerland: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the ninth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anne Miller (@miller_anne) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Colombia v Ivory Coast
Colombia v Ivory Coast: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eighth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Colombia against the Ivory Coast to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Cameroon vs Chile
Cameroon v Chile: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the seventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Jack Burke (@jacksburke) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Cameroon against Chile to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....


NSTAAF International Factball: Belgium v Algeria
Belgium v Algeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the sixth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Belgium against Algeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Germany v Portugal
Germany v Portugal: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Germany against Portugal to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: France v Honduras
France v Honduras: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit France against Honduras to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....


NSTAAF International Factball: Uruguay v Costa Rica
Uruguay v Costa Rica: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the third episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Uruguay against Costa Rica to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Spain v Netherlands
Spain v Netherlands: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the second episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Spain against the Netherlands to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....

NSTAAF International Factball: Brazil v Croatia
Brazil v Croatia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the first episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Brazil against Croatia to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country....


Where Are Episodes 2 - 52?
Anna explains why episodes 2 to 52 of No Such Thing As A Fish are no longer available to listen for free on Soundcloud. For more visit nosuchthingasafish.com...

Episode 1: No Such Thing As A Pilot Fish
A new podcast from the writers of QI, who discuss the best facts they've found that week. The pilot episode features Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) & Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) For more check out www.qi.com/podcast...