Savage Lovecast

Savage Lovecast Podcast

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription.

Savage Love Episode 682
A woman is concerned about her friend. Why? Well, for one, she is in a 24/7 dom/sub relationship with an abusive ex-con. They have kids, and the friend is open with them about the nature of her marriage. Is it possible to explain in a healthy way that mommy is actually a slave? We've been getting a lot of calls just like this one lately: a woman has a crush on her bandmate. He's married and it would ruin everything. But still...(You musicians are HORNY.) On the Magnum, sure, gender reveal parties are unnece...

Savage Love Episode 681
A woman wants her boyfriend to pee inside of her. Cool, cool. But he is pee shy! How can he get over it? A woman and her man love threesomes with women. But they don't want kids. Should they warn their unicorn that if she happens to get knocked up they will have no part in the parenting of her kids? Sssssexy! On the Magnum, Dan chats with worker's rights advocate Elle Stanger about the ongoing disaster that is SESTA/FOSTA. A 21 year-old man and his lady both live with their parents, and they have no place t...

Savage Love Episode 681
A woman wants her boyfriend to pee inside of her. Cool, cool. But he is pee shy! How can he get over it? A woman and her man love threesomes with women. But they don't want kids. Should they warn their unicorn that if she happens to get knocked up they will have no part in the parenting of her kids? Sssssexy! On the Magnum, Dan chats with worker's rights advocate Elle Stanger about the ongoing disaster that is SESTA/FOSTA. A 21 year-old man and his lady both live with their parents, and they have no place t...


Savage Love Episode 680
A young woman slept with her pal's ex about a year ago in one drunken evening. Now she is wracked with guilt. Should she tell her? A gay proofreader lives in a repressive country. He is tasked with fixing grammatical and spelling errors. One of his clients has written a novel riddled with homophobic tropes and forehead-slapping inaccuracies about gay people. Should he bring this to the writer's attention, or keep his head down and stick to "they're" vs. "their" mistakes? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Al...

Savage Love Episode 679
A tale of two subs: What to do when both people in a couple are subs? Find one dom to rule them all? Take turns? A woman is super-duper annoyed that her Trump-lovin' brother is throwing a gender reveal party. Are they inherently unacceptable? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan casts about for a straight man to help him answer questions, and finds actor/comedian/author Michael Ian Black to discuss infidelity, betrayal and REVENGE. Also, a lesbian with Asperger's can't tell if her co-worker is flirting wi...

Savage Love Episode 678
A woman was apparently dating Genghis Khan. He told her he had had a vasectomy, but she got pregnant anyway. And so had a bunch of other women he dated. Her lawyer says she has a battery case. Her friends tell her to chill out. What do you think? A married woman has a very dear gay male friend. She wants to go on vacation with him. But is this too much? Too close? Too weird?  On the Magnum, are we sick of drag yet? No. No, we are not. Dan brings on the ever-delightful Simon Doonan to talk about the drag mom...


Savage Love Episode 678
A woman was apparently dating Genghis Khan. He told her he had had a vasectomy, but she got pregnant anyway. And so had a bunch of other women he dated. Her lawyer says she has a battery case. Her friends tell her to chill out. What do you think? A married woman has a very dear gay male friend. She wants to go on vacation with him. But is this too much? Too close? Too weird?  On the Magnum, are we sick of drag yet? No. No, we are not. Dan brings on the ever-delightful Simon Doonan to talk about the drag mom...

Savage Love Episode 677
A woman has vowed to never date a Trump voter. But she lives in a small conservative town, and she's getting lonely... A woman did some sex work a couple years ago. She's dating someone new and wonders if, when or how to tell him. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Joan Price, author of "Naked at Our Age" about how to combat the effects of early menopause. Poor unicorn! Her couple broke up! Should she ask the lady in the (former) couple if she can continue to be with her ex? Awkward! 206-302-2064 This episode of...

Savage Love Episode 677
A woman has vowed to never date a Trump voter. But she lives in a small conservative town, and she's getting lonely... A woman did some sex work a couple years ago. She's dating someone new and wonders if, when or how to tell him. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Joan Price, author of "Naked at Our Age" about how to combat the effects of early menopause. Poor unicorn! Her couple broke up! Should she ask the lady in the (former) couple if she can continue to be with her ex? Awkward! 206-302-2064 This episode of...


Savage Love Episode 676
An open-minded but shy woman has a gaggle of friends who all talk about sticking their fingers in their boyfriends butts- to everyone's delight. But the caller isn't into it. Is she depriving her boyfriend of this singular pleasure? A woman got a tattoo and felt turned on by the experience. Her husband reaped the benefits of this lust later that night. But is it wrong to secretly perv on her tattoo artist? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex" about LOVING YOUR BODY, damn it, ...

Savage Love Episode 675
An anonymous LinkedIn contact has asked a woman if she would be his FinDom. He would give her money every week in a form of submission to her. But he refuses to reveal his identity. Should she take him up on it? Would you? A gay man has an out-of-town friend who is straight, conservative and engaged to be married. But when the caller was checking out gay hook-up apps he discovered his friend there. Should the caller reach out to his closeted friend and let him know he knows? Try to stop the wedding? Offer s...

Savage Love Episode 675
An anonymous LinkedIn contact has asked a woman if she would be his FinDom. He would give her money every week in a form of submission to her. But he refuses to reveal his identity. Should she take him up on it? Would you? A gay man has an out-of-town friend who is straight, conservative and engaged to be married. But when the caller was checking out gay hook-up apps he discovered his friend there. Should the caller reach out to his closeted friend and let him know he knows? Try to stop the wedding? Offer s...


Savage Love Episode 674
It's your typical story: Man has sex with girl who has only 2 fingers on one of her hands. Man never calls girl again because he only wanted casual sex anyway. Years later, man feels guilty for not calling girl with disability because he worries she will think he ghosted her because of her weird hand. Man calls homosexual sex advice podcaster for absolution. A man and his wife are embarking on some sex club explorations. Dan chats with the man about how to stay safe and keep his head together and his marria...

Savage Love Episode 674
It's your typical story: Man has sex with girl who has only 2 fingers on one of her hands. Man never calls girl again because he only wanted casual sex anyway. Years later, man feels guilty for not calling girl with disability because he worries she will think he ghosted her because of her weird hand. Man calls homosexual sex advice podcaster for absolution. A man and his wife are embarking on some sex club explorations. Dan chats with the man about how to stay safe and keep his head together and his marria...

Savage Love Episode 673
A married woman has just hosted her mother-in-law in their small apartment. After seeing her husband and his mother interact, she just doesn't fell like having any sex at all. How can she clear out the in-law vibes? Morning! A woman emerges from sleep in the full throes of an orgasm. But her dream was mundane and not even close to sexy. What in god's name is going on here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute about whether men and women are equally kinky. And, a young man want...


Savage Love Episode 673
A married woman has just hosted her mother-in-law in their small apartment. After seeing her husband and his mother interact, she just doesn't fell like having any sex at all. How can she clear out the in-law vibes? Morning! A woman emerges from sleep in the full throes of an orgasm. But her dream was mundane and not even close to sexy. What in god's name is going on here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute about whether men and women are equally kinky. And, a young man want...

Savage Love Episode 672
A woman's boyfriend used to achieve orgasm with ease. But now he can't come from penetration. The caller worries that in her boyfriend's eyes, she has become the madonna, when she used to be the whore. Dan speaks with a bisexual man, whose first attempt at unicorning (yes, we verbbed the word "unicorn,") went poorly, mainly due to his straight couple maybe getting a little too drunky? Anyway, next time will go better, brave unicorn! On the Magnum: Dental dams- Nobody uses them. That is the consensus illumin...

Savage Love Episode 672
A woman's boyfriend used to achieve orgasm with ease. But now he can't come from penetration. The caller worries that in her boyfriend's eyes, she has become the madonna, when she used to be the whore. Dan speaks with a bisexual man, whose first attempt at unicorning (yes, we verbbed the word "unicorn,") went poorly, mainly due to his straight couple maybe getting a little too drunky? Anyway, next time will go better, brave unicorn! On the Magnum: Dental dams- Nobody uses them. That is the consensus illumin...


Savage Love Episode 671
A gay man is fed up with all the public sex at gay pride parades! It's bad PR! Enough already! Will Dan agree? Listen and find out. A woman is planning to marry. Her fiancé has a lot less money than she does, and they maintain separate bank accounts. When she marries, should they combine their finances? Should she get a prenup? Dan brings in Paul Sullivan- the "Wealth Matters" columnist from the NYT- to discuss these potentially thorny issues. On the Magnum, Dan Savage (a known homosexual male) discusses va...

Savage Love Episode 671
A gay man is fed up with all the public sex at gay pride parades! It's bad PR! Enough already! Will Dan agree? Listen and find out. A woman is planning to marry. Her fiancé has a lot less money than she does, and they maintain separate bank accounts. When she marries, should they combine their finances? Should she get a prenup? Dan brings in Paul Sullivan- the "Wealth Matters" columnist from the NYT- to discuss these potentially thorny issues. On the Magnum, Dan Savage (a known homosexual male) discusses va...

Savage Love Episode 670
What do you do when love being single, but also want that new relationship energy? A woman vents some righteous fury that many women don't find short men attractive. IT'S NOT FAIR. On the Magnum, Dan chats with the very amazing RIVAL but BELOVED advice columnist E. Jean Carroll. She has been writing "Ask E. Jean" for Elle Magazine since 1993, and recently came out with her book What Do We Need Men For----A Modest Proposal. It exposes the hideous men she's encountered, including our current president. She is...


Savage Love Episode 669
A 76 year-old woman wonders if everyone is doing polyamory these days, or if there are any monogamous couples left. A woman's twin brother has become a white supremacist, and is getting sucked in to a very scary community. Dan brings on Christian Picciolini, who himself was recruited and eventually left the white power movement. He now combats extreme hate groups, with a message compassion and understanding. On the Magnum, Dan chats with writer Zachary Zane, on the challenges and resources for coming out as...

Savage Love Episode 668
A man keeps sending his female friends sexual texts and pics, later apologizing saying it was a mistake and sent to the wrong person. Both our caller and podcast host know better. A man's husband will sometimes wake in the middle of the night and have wild, uninhibited sex. Then he forgets it happened in the morning. Is it wrong for the caller to enjoy these midnight romps? On the Magnum, Dan chats about one of his favorite subjects: blow jobs- with comedian Jacqueline Novak. And, a bi man's 16 year-old son...

Savage Love Episode 667
Is it common for straight men to be "secretly into dick?" Because that's what this woman's boyfriend is. A transwoman got together with a guy in a dungeon. But she forgot to tell him that she is trans. Her lover told her it would be wise to reveal this detail early on. Should she? Must she? On the Magnum, a middle-aged woman is too damn horny. Dan brings on the ever-helpful Dr. Debby Herbenick to see if there's a medical cause or source of relief. And, a "poly-minded" man is only poly-minded when he's the o...


Savage Love Episode 666
A woman is tormented that her partner of 7 years has not learned how to pee without spraying the area. Dan's response is both charitable and practical. A 70 year-old man is in an open relationship with his wife. He is communicating with a 30 year-old woman online who lives out of town. How can he verify her identity without offending her? Also, he doesn't want to take advantage of her. But who will be taking advantage of whom? Now. Did you notice the episode number? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Lucien Grea...

Savage Love Episode 665
A woman has been dating a man for 4 months. She just read on his public blog that he thinks he isn't clicking with her. Should she admit she read his blog? Why would he write such a thing? A gay man encountered a willing slave in the bathroom at an orgy. (As one does.) It turns out this slave wants to be in a 24/7 slave/master relationship. He is also closeted, and politically conservative. Sooooo....is his masochism born out of self-hatred? How can (or should) the caller help this twisted soul? On the Magn...

Savage Love Episode 664
A reasonable woman is about to visit her over-the-top Christian family. Her sister has invited her to join a book club when she's there. Guess what the book is! Should the caller sit through her sister's stealth Bible study, or find a way to politely decline? Or perhaps there's yet another way... A man used to be the cartoon editor for his college newspaper. This was before he got woke, and he is now mortified to recall some nasty anti-gay comics that he published. Should he apologize? Submit new cartoons r...


Savage Love Episode 663
A man still has hot videos he took of his ex. He loves his current girlfriend, but the sex isn't nearly as good. How wrong is it to view the historical footage? A straight man has HAD IT UP TO HERE with all this "they/them" stuff! And sometimes, you use "they/them" and they still get mad! "What are we doing here, Dan?" On the Magnum, Dan chats with Rob Walker- Human Resource columnist for Lifehacker, about dealing with various schmuckos at work. Also, a woman and her fiancé happily trade chores for sexual f...

Savage Love Episode 662
It's the One-Minute Wonder Show! That's right. Your calls were one minute or less. Dan's answers were 2 minutes or less. We blasted through so much, it feels like a blur. Blowing air in vaginas, toxic Drag Race fans, squirting cleanup, anal skin tags, finding that clit, how to avoid getting things stuck up your butt, jizz enemas, micro infidelities, orgasm farts, figging, Gallagher, sounding- this is just a fraction of the rich content you'll hear today. We are all exhausted, actually. 206-302-2064 This epi...

Savage Love Episode 661
Just in time for your pride parade, it's the all gay episode! Calls by, for and about queer people. We got nervous lesbians who are scared to introduce the girlfriend to their moms, we got homos who come too soon, or get spooked by conventionally attractive men. Look! It's a bisexual woman who has never been with a woman before and wants to "scratch the itch" while her boyfriend is out of town. A woman whose trans husband has been outed at work, gay cleaning products...wait. What? Gay cleaning products? On ...


Savage Love Episode 660
A gay man is dating a self-described "Sex Pig." His antics in public are epic. The caller wants to figure out if he can learn to be more carefree and uninhibited or negotiate some rules to please them both. Hear and learn from the cautionary tale of the dutiful daughter housesitting for her parents, and the hidden videocamera. On the Magnum, Dan stammers through a conversation about a topic that makes him feel...uncomfortable: NUDITY. Stéphane Deschenes from The Naturist Living Show podcast tries to convinc...

Savage Love Episode 659
With the ever-charming and fearsome Mistress Matisse. She came to our studio to help Dan answer questions about bruises (wanted and unwanted,) gang bangs, the nasty kind of doms you'll meet on Reddit, rough sex when you're pregnant and the proper care and washing of your ball-gag. And more! And, on the Magnum, Dan chats with historian and author Peter Tupper on his new book A Lover's Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism. Yowwwwch! 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therap...

Savage Love Episode 658
Here's a conundrum: A black, gay man is married to his white husband. They want to dive into threesomes, but the black man is only attracted to white men and the white man is only attracted to black men. So you see. This is a real pickle. Meanwhile, a straight man has fantasies where he is a gay leather daddy, and his real life butch lesbian friend is his sub "boy." Is this a thought crime? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Fast Company freelance journalist Sean Captain about the sad demise of Tumblr as safe sp...


Savage Love Episode 657
Here are the Savage Lovecast we've noticed that we'll get a bunch of calls on a particular subject all at once. This week it was abortion and weddings. A caller asks if we should just sit on our hands and let Alabama and the other states hijacked by their far right politicians reap the political cost of criminalizing abortion. Hear Dan counsel a gay man who is getting married. A straight couple who the caller considered friends revealed that they couldn't come to the wedding because it violates their Biblic...

Savage Love Episode 656
A woman is dating a man who used to be a sex addict. He slept with hundreds of women. Now their relationship is solid and monogamous, but his many former lovers keep texting him and trying to keep in touch. The caller feels threatened and creeped out. A man has started going to hot yoga to get in shape. The room is filled with gorgeous women stretching and sweating and wearing next to nothing. Is the sexual vibe just in the caller's head? How can he approach some of them without looking like some kind of ta...

Savage Love Episode 655
A man and his wife want to have kids. He would like to have a threesome before they do. Is it wrong to issue an ultimatum: "NO KIDS until we have that threeway?" Dan chats with Dr. Landon Trost from the Mayo clinic about vasectomies- how reversible are they? On the Magnum, Dan has a long conversation with a lesbian whose parents forced her to endure "conversion therapy" for years. She talks about the experience and together she and Dan hash out how to approach her relationship with her parents today. And, a...


Savage Love Episode 654
A woman keeps getting told to go home after she hooks up in the middle of the night. Don't any of these gentleman know how to make breakfast? A woman has learned that her beloved aunt has been having a lesbian affair for decades. Some but not all of her family knows. Should the caller tell everyone? At family gatherings? Because she just can't keep her mouth shut? Will she heed Dan's stern advice? On the Magnum, a woman wonders if the best orgasm of her life, way back when she was 16, was due to her lover's...

Savage Love Episode 653
A kinky woman enjoys having slaves. But the guy she really likes is vanilla. It didn't work out. This is sad. Does being kinky mean you can't have vanilla love too? A school teacher and her boyfriend want to go to a sex club. But she's worried about running into parents of her students, or school administration. How cautious should this sexy schoolmarm be? On the Magnum, Dan chats with sociologist and author Nicholas A. Christakis about his book: Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society. They d...

Savage Love Episode 652
A woman claims that over 90% of the time, her casual hook-ups end with the man orgasming, and she gets...nothing. And then! When she asks for a little reciprocity, these men accuse her of being a demanding princess. Meanwhile, another straight woman loves it when her men say no at first. She loves the chase and her ultimate victory. Is this a kink? Is it something she can work into her long term relationships? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with writer and social researcher Dr. Wednesday Martin, about how women ...


Savage Love Episode 651
A bisexual man and his girlfriend want to try a threeway with another man. But he has never been with a man before and feels anxious. The girlfriend just feels turned on. He wishes she would suppress her desire and support him in this trying time. A woman's friend is beginning the process of coming out as a trans woman. But she wants to be help accountable. She asked the caller to send a coming out announcement to family and friends if the trans woman doesn't do it herself by a certain time. Is this a reaso...

Savage Love Episode 650
Look at her. She's only a lesbian when she's drunk! Why does she dream of a white picket fence with her loving wife by her side but only when she's had 5 whisky sours? A woman is planning to marry Prince Charming. He is so wonderful in every way. Except...when he wants sex he grabs her head and pulls it down to his crotch. Is this just how men ask for sex these days? On the Magnum, Dan's suspicions are confirmed by science ONCE AGAIN. This time, he speaks with Dr. Becky Lynn about the effect marijuana has o...

Savage Love Episode 649
A man often yawns soon after coming. He has to convince his partners that he's not bored. What up? A dutiful father worries that when he drops his used come-rag in the laundry along with his kids' clothes that his sperm is getting spread around the innocent garments. Does the come actually exit the washing machine? Does it go away? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Kaytlin Bailey, host of The Oldest Profession podcast & Director of Communications for Decriminalize Sex Work. In case you were wondering, treating...


Savage Love Episode 648
A woman has been dating her older boyfriend for 6 years, and she still hasn't met his kids. Does she have grounds for righteous indignation here? A woman and her boyfriend are considering bringing in another man for a threeway. How can they proceed with caution? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with comedian Kate Willet about dating Trump voters, breaking up amicably and what to do when the boner fails to show up. Also, when your boyfriend prefers bathhouses to you. 206-302-2064 This episode is ...

Savage Love Episode 647
A woman and her husband are having a difficult year. And to top it off, he divulged that he likes to wear women's clothes, and would like to raid her closet. She worries that this is just the first step toward a transgender identity. Do straight men ever like to wear women's clothes? (Spoiler: Yes.) A woman's conservative cousin has started working at a "Crisis Parenting Center," that gives misinformation about abortion. Should she confront her? On the Magnum, Dan chats with his soul brother the Broadway go...

Savage Love Episode 646
Yowsers! It's the TRIGGER SHOW. This show is pretty gnarly. There's molestation, pedophilia, incest, snuff porn, dicks in a drawer, blubbering boyfriends and even doggity style! Listen in if you dare. On the Magnum, we also have Dan's transman pal Jens Cinguemani on to take a few trans-oriented calls. 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support...


Savage Love Episode 645
A woman has taken up with two men. One of them is a pal, and it's all about the sex. The other one is her perfect fit emotionally, but the sex is on the "meh" side. How on earth can she choose between them? A while back we had on a guest who turned out to be a charlatan! He duped a lot of media outlets, the Lovecast included. Dan interviews the journalist from Gizmodo who outed this fraud. Crow: it's what's for dinner. On the Magnum, a woman is dating a guy who is great in every way, except! He has terrible...

Savage Love Episode 603
A white man is dating an Asian man and tends to be attracted to Asian men. Does this make him a rice queen? Is it racist to be a rice queen? Can learn to feel attraction toward other races? A straight man has a great girlfriend except for one little problem. She gives painful blowjobs with her sharp little teeth.  After three long years, he's never complained. How can he explain what he likes down there? And on the Magnum, a man with staggeringly high libido (12 times per day sounds about right to him) is i...

Savage Love Episode 644
A man lives in a duplex below a couple women. One day, he heard them having sex, and it inspired him to have a wank. Now he feels guilty. Is he an Eavesdropping Tom? A woman hooked up with a younger man. He asked her if his penis looked like it was circumcised. He wasn't and she told him so. How could a fella possibly not know this about himself? It is very perplexing. On the Magnum Dan has a long conversation with Johann Hari - the author of "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and...


Savage Love Episode 643
When bisexual friends go wild: A lesbian has been buddies with a bi woman for a while. Guess what happened when they got drunk! Now, the bi friend is asking her boyfriend for a hall pass to sleep with the lesbian friend. But will their friendship be able to withstand all this newfound passion? Hear two tales concerning the ethics of HIV disclosure: A male/female couple have always been bi and open. But when they both got HIV it became much more difficult to find other partners willing to take the risk. And,...

Savage Love Episode 642
A woman makes twice as much as her boyfriend. When he learned this his eyes went wide. Now she feels guilty. Should she start paying more of the bills? Do you like piña coladas? A kinky woman started dating a new man. Before she could tell him about her kinks she discovered that the dude she's been talking dirty with on Fetlife is THE SAME GUY, but he doesn't know it yet. How can she tell him that they are already...acquainted? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Eric Leue from the Free Speech Coalition about the...

Episode 184: Dan’s Back!
Dan Savage returns to help Eli Sanders and Katie Herzog deal with Trump’s very weird and upsetting State of the Union address. Also discussed: Nancy Pelosi’s epic clap-back and Stacey Abrams’s delivery of the official Democratic response to Trump’s speech. After that, WTF is going in Virginia? Rich Smith tells Eli and Katie what he thinks should be done about a Democratic governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general who are all suddenly in very big trouble over pasts that appear to include either bla...


Savage Love Episode 641
Hey uncircumcised fellas! Would you get cut because your girlfriend wanted you to? Because she thought that it made your dick bigger? Would you really? This guy did. Hear the tale of a man's sexual adventure in Las Vegas, and how he can't seem to find a lady unless he's paying her. Gracing us on both the Micro and the Magnum, sex researcher Dr. Zhana Vrangalova explains the current state of the science on squirting. What exactly is that stuff anyway? Then she stayed on to help answer a question on the Magnu...

Savage Love Episode 640
Therapy is good right? It gets you in touch with your feelings. Unless...those feelings you are getting in touch with are jealousy, paranoia and possessiveness. Sometimes it's time to BACK AWAY FROM THE FEELINGS. Anyway, here's the kind of question you really came for: A woman is about to turn thirty and wants to throw a big sex party with XTC a'flowin'. But she is also a mom and wants to invite her other mom friends. Should she offer them party drugs too? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Andrew Gurza from the...

Savage Love Episode 639
Let's call this the BAD BEHAVIOR show, because some of you are doing terrible things. We start with a teen who has been sneaking off with her mother's vibrator. How can her long-suffering parents encourage her to use one without using *that particular* one? A woman's new boyfriend begs her to let him change her tampon, saying it would bring them closer together. Is this a fetish of his? Is this a fetish of anyone's? This isn't "bad," per se but just what the Sam Hill is going on on here? On the Magnum, Dan ...


Savage Love Episode 638
A gay man is sick of always having to initiate with his new boyfriend. The boyfriend is a big guy, but very submissive. How can the caller get the dude to make a move now and again? A woman caught her fiancé wanking to photos of his exes. Now she feels jealous and insecure. How can she get over it? On the Magnum, hear two tales of companionate marriages: How to do it right, and how to do it wrong. And, a woman with baby fever is single, but hell bent on reproducing. She is convinced her parents will disappr...

Savage Love Episode 637
A Jewish woman is bringing her boyfriend to the Hanukkah party. Great, right? But as always, there's a problem. He has a HITLER MUSTACHE. Because he "likes the look." Dan chats with this woman, and you get to listen. A young man's parents discovered kinky sexts on his phone. How can he explain BDSM to his freaked out mom n' pop? On the Magnum, a man is in an open relationship, but his girlfriend doesn't like that he sees sex workers. He just likes it. Should he try to stop? Or keep doing it and lie? Or brea...

Savage Love Episode 636
The first call of 2019 is all about public sex. So that's how things are looking. We then move on to a deep, methodical analysis of the life cycle of your vibrator. How long should those things last anyway? On the Magnum, Dan chats with queer sex writer Sophie Saint Thomas about her article in Playboy titled "Are Some People Just Slapping the Poly Label on their Cheating?" We are very sorry to report that the answer is yes, yes they are. And, an anxious sister wants to counsel her 16 year-old brother on his...


Savage Love Episode 635
Gather round the Lovecast Christmas tree children, and see what audio gifts we have for you! Why, here's a question from a power bottom who pees when he gets fucked!  And look! A woman's boyfriend won't use sex toys on her if they've been used before. Should she ask Santa to get her some brand new, still-in-the-box butt plugs? And, oh good heavens, Dan's friend Philip has some advice for a woman with hemorrhoids. He likens them to "a heart attack in your ass." On the Magnum version, which you should give as...

Savage Love Episode 634
Dear Australia, Hi! This is the Savage Lovecast. Listen. Do you guys refer to the very common sexual position where a man enters a woman from behind while she is on all fours as ..."Doggity Style?" No? We didn't think so. (Both Dan and Nancy are gobsmacked by this call.) A man's friend has been accused of sexual assault from when they were both in a pseudo-Christian cult. The caller believes the women, but also wants to support his friend and help him to become a better person. How? Strap-ons...for MEN??!! ...

Savage Love Episode 633
A woman had sex with a pre-op transwoman. But she didn't make the caller come, or even try. Now the caller wonders if this is a "vagina-bodied" vs "non vagina-bodied" problem, or just a "jerk" problem. A married gay man with kids begs Dan for a quick n' dirty guide on how to add a third partner into their relationship. How can they have adventures and maintain the sanctity of their family unit? On the Magnum version, check out Canada! They are slowly but surely opening sex doll & robot brothels. Is this gon...


Savage Love Episode 632
A man has tried group sex a couple times. But when he shows up his dick doesn't. What is going on here? Oh this story! A girl started seeing her therapist at age 17. At age 19, she confessed to her 45 year-old therapist that she loved him. So, naturally he told her that he loved her back. They married and had a kid. (Really.) Then they divorced. (Of course.) Now, when her kid or friends ask how she met her ex, she doesn't know what to say. What should she say? And how can she process all the disturbing, con...

Savage Love Episode 631
Well looky who blew into town! Stormy Daniels came on over to our studio to answer callers' questions about blow jobs, toxic men, protecting the male ego and other hazards. Stormy and Dan got on like a house on fire, and you must listen to it. A couple questions are on the Micro version and many more are on the Magnum. Also, how to get used to using "they/them" pronouns. 206-302-2064 This episode of Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Away. Away makes first-class luggage at coach prices that allow you to c...

Savage Love Episode 630
We have a word for a woman who sleeps with a straight couple. That's a unicorn, of course. But what should we call a man who provides the same service? Cuz we have a male caller who is totally down. A woman has reconnected with an old high school chum. The friend immediately asked the caller to be the bridesmaid at her upcoming wedding. The caller said yes, only to learn that the groom-to-be is a Trump-supporting, racist jackass. Should she bail on her sacred duty? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan cha...


Savage Love Episode 629
Here in Seattle, we have a sportsball team called "The Sounders." On the Savage Lovecast, well, it's another matter altogether. Oh look! It's Nancy, putting the men who fear/refuse vasectomies on blast. Dan's on your side, fellas. Nancy is not. On the Magnum, a caller has hit rock bottom and quit drinking. But he wonders if he can ever have a single beer again. Is it possible to drink in moderation if you're an alcoholic? Dan brings on clinical psychologist (and co-founder of CheckUp & Choices) Dr. Reid Hes...

Savage Love Episode 628
A woman has been with her fiancé for 4 years. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he's started moaning and groaning in bed like a porn starlet. Why the sudden vocalizations? IS HE CHEATING ON HER? An asexual, non-binary person feels like an invader when they show up at BDSM parties. Is it alright to join that community when you are uninterested in sex? On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome back author, sex educator and bitter podcasting rival Tristan Taormino. She and Dan discuss strap-ons, and how to peg...

Savage Love Episode 627
A sugar baby has fallen in love with her sugar daddy. He loves her too! Except, he kind of doesn't want her to meet his actual daughter. Does she have the right to demand it? A coach at a college has been asked to drive one of her students to get an abortion. Because of where they live, it will take 4 hours. Should she do it? Welcome to America. On the Magnum, things get a little gnarly with our urologist pal, Dr. Stephen King. How many times you can handle hearing the words "dorsal slit" being said without...


Savage Love Episode 626
In the intro, Dan and blogger/trans rights activist Parker Molloy fume over 45's latest anti-trans bluster. A straight man who is apparently just learning some basic facts about our world, wants to know: Do gays ever get divorced? On the Magnum, things get a bit more complicated. Dan interviews Dr. Justin Lehmiller, author of "Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.” They discuss the origins of kinks, and if you can shut them off if they bum you out...

Savage Love Episode 625
A couple adopted a disturbed dog, hell-bent on destroying their sex life! It jumps on the bed, and barks when they try to get busy, and whimpers, barks and whines when left outside the door. Dan "Dog Whisperer" Savage leaps to the rescue. Speaking of mental illness, Ellen Forney, the brilliant cartoonist behind "Marbles" is back to discuss dating with bipolar disorder, and her new book "Rock Steady." If you are or love someone with bipolar, this is the show for you. Also, you should buy her books immediatel...

Savage Love Episode 624
If you found out that your gal pal in her 20s had a hook up with a 17 year-old lad, would you call the cops on her? Should you? Ok, seriously. What is up with adult babies? Dan interviews Lo, of the Dream a Little podcast exploring the relationships between folks who get off on this kind of role play. We suspect you will emerge enlightened. A woman uses the tried and true "pillow humping" technique when she masturbates. Her boyfriend wants her to film it so he can watch. But will he be turned off? Disgusted...


Savage Love Episode 623
A married couple's teen daughter gets super-irritated when her parents have noisy sex. She sends them snarky texts imploring them to stop. Maybe she includes an eye-rolling emoji or a throwing-up kitten or some such teenaged thing. The dad in this couple doesn't want to "break her." What does Dan Savage have to say? Our guest this week, (on the Micro! You're welcome!) is Brook Urick of Seeking.com- a site where sugar babies can meet their ideal sugar daddy. Hooray! But is this relationship by nature commodi...

Savage Love Episode 622
Parents, hear this cautionary tale: A man has been in his loving, kinky, poly marriage for 21 years. His wife accidentally clicked the wrong button and synched up her super gnarly BDSM pics onto her 9 year-old daughter's phone. So now there's some 'splaining to do. A woman lives in an apartment building in NYC. At first, her neighbor appeared to be really nice! Then he started sending her dick pics with his infant in the background. On the Magnum: "Honey? What would you like for your birthday?" This innocen...

Savage Love Episode 621
A woman enjoys anonymous webcamming with older men. But do they cross a line when they both pretend that she's... very young? A poly father doesn't know how to explain his healthy, happy relationships to his 5 year old daughter. On the Magnum, Dan enlists JP Brammer, author of the "Hola Papi" advice column to talk about interracial dating and to take down a personal trainer/tease. And, a guy with a girlfriend is sick of everyone asking when they're going to have kids. They don't want kids. What is wrong wit...


Savage Love Episode 620
A young woman's boyfriend regularly gets her sexually aroused and then rolls over and goes to sleep without finishing the job. And then they fight. Why would he do this? A young gay man doesn't understand why his fuckbuddy only texts him when he wants to...well, fuck. On the Magnum: If you are a gay man, and want to give blood, you're out of luck. Blood centers do not accept blood donations from gay men. Is this based on science or stigma? It's a little of both, as it turns out in this discussion with Dr. N...

Savage Love Episode 619
A woman's mother died last year. Her dad is dating someone new. The caller and her siblings just aren't ready to welcome their dad's girlfriend into their lives, let alone include her at Christmas. The caller feels she has to choose between her siblings and her father. Tough times, these. A straight man felt slighted when a woman wouldn't give him her phone number, and in public! He feels sad and humiliated and wonders if the male ego should be given just a little more weight and protection. On the Magnum, ...

Savage Love Episode 618
We start this week's adventure with a couple who have a secret unicorn at their beck and call. The wife in the couple doesn't want anyone to know. But the unicorn lass has already told some friends and wants to be more open about the relationship. Who will win this one? A 27 year-old woman has a distant relationship with her father. He is 64. Guess how old his new girlfriend is. You're right! Same age as the caller! Now, whenever they chat, he puts her on speaker-phone if the new girlfriend is there. Why? W...


Savage Love Episode 617
A woman got together with what seemed to be the perfect man for her. Kinky. Into spanking. And social justice! But after they got together she discovered that he is really the married pastor of a conservative mega-church. Dan counsels her on whether to unmask this lying creep. A gay man came out late in life. When he tells his dates this, they balk. How can he reveal his truth to the men in his life and still earn their respect? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the estimable Dr. Lori Brotto about her new book:...

Savage Love Episode 616
Come hear the sordid tale of the couple who invited a woman over, only to have her wet the bed so thoroughly that she soaked right through to the mattress. Bad unicorn! Erika Moen of "Oh Joy Sex Toy?" is on to review her husband's fave new toy. What could it be? On the Magnum, a woman dislikes her parters the instant she has sex with them. How can she yank out that bad wiring? And, pineapples. They are laden with meaning. 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Boll and Branch:...

Savage Love Episode 615
A woman keeps dating men who hide her and won't acknowledge that she exists on social media. What on earth is going on here? A woman knows that her personal trainer is a Christian. But is he the good kind or the bad kind? Should she find out before she continues her patronage? On the Magnum version, Amp from "Watt's the Safeword" is on to explain and discuss the phenomenon of "sub drop" in pornography and in the wild. And, what it really means when you're attracted to Wonder Woman. 206-302-2064 This episode...


Savage Love Episode 614
"Dan? If someone sticks a lollypop in my vagina, will I get a yeast infection?" Sincerely, the very first caller. A married woman was horrified to discover raunchy pics of her husband's first cousin on his phone. Would this horrify you? On the Magnum, did you know that you can find instructions for a home abortion...in the Bible?! Well you can, and Dan's guest, the blogger Jesse Cramer tells us all about it. Also, a VERY WOKE man, who ALWAYS OBTAINS CONSENT, because he VERY MUCH CARES ABOUT WOMEN, doesn't u...

Savage Love Episode 613
A woman who lives in a group house likes listening in when someone is having sex near her. Handwringing ensues. Is this unethical? Should she feel guilty? Should she stop? A woman who has gone from eating way too little to eating way too much, wrestles with how to talk about the diminishing sex with her boyfriend. On the Magnum, Dan convenes a high-powered lesbian panel to handle a few questions concerning processing, fighting, processing, how to define yourself, and processing. Lady-loving ladies rejoice! ...

Savage Love Episode 612
A lesbian is a divorcée at age 20. How can she tell her future girlfriends that she had spectacularly bad judgement when she was of a tender age? Hey everyone! Meet Jason, the offended gay Christian! He wishes Dan wouldn't be so derisive of religion. Dan has an answer for him. On the Magnum, a caller is studying to become a sexuality professor. This makes her dates FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Dan brings on an actual sexuality professor -Dr. Debby Herbenick- to address how she dealt with her dating life. And, what s...


Savage Love Episode 611
A liberal, PC, feminist, woke man loves to humiliate, slap and call women sluts in the bedroom. (Always consensually.) How can he reconcile the two opposing sides of his personality? A woman and her husband have befriended another family in their new town. The couple revealed that the man is a transman, and that she should ask any questions she wants to. But the caller clammed up and didn't ask. Is it too late to ask about them? How can she learn about the trans experience without offending? In a heavy call...

Savage Love Episode 610
A woman has started up with a great new guy. The problem? He kisses "like a robot." And not a sexy robot! How can she train him to kiss properly? A man's daughter is non-binary, and dating another non-binary. When they have sleep-overs should the father worry about his daughter when her partner is in male mode? On the Magnum, Dr. Justin Lehmiller is on to talk about his research studying what people really fantasize about. Don't you want his job? A married woman's husband loves it when she talks about her s...

Savage Love Episode 609
A woman's boss did something so nasty that she successfully prosecuted him and got him on the sex offender registry. But how can she get a new job with such an uncomfortable story to tell about her last one? Dan brings on Rob Walker, a.k.a. The Workologist from the New York Times to strategize. A skinny, insecure gay dude likes big muscle men. But he can't understand why they like him. On the Magnum, Dan interviews sociologist Eran Shor about his work analyzing pornography and whether it is getting more and...


Savage Love Episode 608
A woman had offered an Amazon delivery guy a drink of water in her house, and gave him her phone number. One year later he started sending her nasty messages and dick pics. Should she report him to his employer? Call the cops? A divorced man's 13 year-old daughter came out to him as a "homo-romantic asexual." Should he tell her conservative Christian mother? Also, is this just a phase? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Phd student Sam Hughes about his work exploring why some people are kinky. And, hear the tale...

Savage Love Episode 607
A kinky woman is sick and tired of men assuming she's a horny slut ready for anything at any time. How can she explain in her dating profiles that she's kinky AND discerning? A woman was hanging out fishing with her old high school buddy when the buddy asked, "So is it true you like to get peed on?" Don't you hate it when that happens? How should she spread the word among her old friend circle that in fact, this isn't to her taste? On the Magnum, look out! It's a lesbian take-over! The delightful ladies fro...

Savage Love Episode 606
Mom discovered a portable pussy sex toy in her teenaged son's backpack. Are you a mother? Do you plan to be one someday? What will you do when you discover a portable pussy in your teenaged son's backpack? A man and his girlfriend see each other every few months. And when they do, hoo boy! They have sex every few hours. By the end of their time together she feels sore. Right? She wants to try pegging him so he can understand what it's like to be penetrated so frequently. He wonders if this is even analogous...


Savage Love Episode 605
A woman was chilling with her male friend, you know, the way friends do, and sure, he wishes they were a couple, but she's not into him that way, so anyway, she invited him over after some drinking and masturbated in front of him, you know, the way friends do, except now things are weird? A lesbian was told by a transwoman who still has a penis that it's transphobic to not want to have sex with her. Discuss. On the Magnum,  it's time for a Second Opinion! Dan chats with the newest sex advice columnist to hi...

Savage Love Episode 604
A 60 year-old man has been dating a woman for 4 months. He wishes she would lose some weight. Oh, and also? She lost her breasts to cancer. Does he have the right to ask her to get a boob job too? Sidle up, dear listener, and hear the tale of the woman, her much older boyfriend, and...and her boyfriend's...son?  After hearing this, one of the tech-savvy at-risk youth had to take a walk around the block.  But fearlessly, we continue! On the Magnum, Dan interviews Inka, the creator of ForPlay Films: Erotica m...

Savage Love Episode 602
A woman's husband installed a hidden camera in their house. We aren't saying WHERE he installed it, but you should know that this call made us take off our headphones for a second. As a young man navigates through his dating life, he finds that the girls he's really attracted to ghost him, and the gals he's lukewarm about chase him with conviction. Why?! Dan chats with the lad and gives him a clue. On the Magnum Dan speaks with Dr. Lori Brotto about having a fulfilling relationship with an asexual. Check ou...


Savage Love Episode 601
A married man and his wife are planning some swinging fun times. But one of the people who responded to his anonymous post is his high school pal! Should he tell her who he is? That he knows who she is? Oh my god, this could be SO EMBARRASSING. A woman and her boyfriend used to have frequent, fantastic sex..when he was drunk. Now that he's sober, their love-life is bland and scant. How can they have hot, booze-free sex? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. John Scott, a sociology Professor from Brisbane, Austr...

Savage Love Episode 600
You guys? We've been making this podcast for 600 episodes. How do we celebrate? By talking about pee pee! A woman who is about to get married is having a total freak-out affair! She's been seeing her lover for only 3 months, but she thinks it's true love. Should she call off the wedding? A woman spontaneously comes whenever she sits in a sauna. Why Dan, why??!! Dan chats with the charming and super-freaky Sunny Megatron & Ken Melvoin-Berg-- sexuality educators, hosts of American Sex Podcast, and creators of...

Savage Lovecast #599
"Dear Dan. What is up with cock rings?" Dan is all too delighted to answer. A married woman is in an open relationship, and hooks up with a friend of theirs. This "lover" doesn't make her come. Rather, after her insufficient sessions with him, she returns home to her husband who gets the job done. Should she tell the lover that he is inadequate when it feeds such a hot dynamic with her husband? On the Magnum, welcome to Poly Town! The wonderful Cunning Minx, host of the Poly Weekly podcast, is on to answer ...


Savage Love Episode 598
The kindly mother of a 12 year-old boy wonders if she should discreetly leave some lube by his bed as he learns to love him himself fully. A woman is horrified to discover that her hook-up doesn't have sheets on the bed. "The bed is no good," she laments. Should she see him again? Is there a fix here? Dan and the mighty Mistress Matisse revisit the horrifying SESTA/FOSTA bill snaking its way into law. This bill will be devastating to sex workers and the internet in general. Please follow #LetUsSurvive onTwi...

Savage Love Episode 597
A woman went on a date, and everything went so well. Until...he disappeared without a trace. Did this man truly turn into a ghost? Dan calls her back and gets the full story. On the Magnum, for a "What You Got?" Dan chats with Kristin Mark on how to maintain sexual desire in long term relationships. And, a woman's husband suffered an injury that he is slowly recovering from. But it has wreaked havoc on their sex life. How can they get back to the good times? This "In sickness and in health" stuff is hard! C...

Savage Love Episode 596
A straight man is having a hard time getting laid. His female friends tell him he has to be more aggressive and less respectful with the ladies. Dan weighs in. The "baby" in a baby/daddy relationship is jealous because her daddy is getting it on with a couple and not inviting her. No, crying is not a solution. Sometimes you gotta reach out to a dick doc. (The more dignified word is "urologist." ) On the Magnum, Dan does just that, chatting with the good Doctor Stephen King, to answer a couple questions abou...


Savage Love Episode 595
A trans man is losing his hair and worries that he won't be able to rock the hyper-masculine bald guy look. Can you be sweet, sexy and bald all at the same time? Dogs! Sex! These two topics come together not once, but three times on this very show. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with writer and cultural critic Alana Massey on the misguided Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA.) A woman's best friend has a husband who calls her a "horrible wife" and "slut" under his breath. The caller isn't quite ready to dum...

Savage Love Episode 594
After 10 years of marriage, a man is dismayed to admit that he married a jizz-hater. His wife detests the stuff and doesn't want to be anywhere near it. What is the solution? The ever-delightful and intrepid Erika Moen of "Oh Joy Sex Toy" is on to discuss a sex toy that will send you packing. A woman's boyfriend wants to get a $2000 anatomically correct sex doll. The caller, and (as you will hear) Dan Savage are super-squicked. Finally, gather round dear listeners, and hear the story of the neighbor and the...

Savage Love Episode 593
A straight man knows he has the dreaded Madonna/Whore Complex. But how can he overcome it? A 47 year-old woman has just started working at a sex toy store, and loves her funky, kinky co-workers. But she's scared to invite them to her wedding for fear that mommy and daddy won't approve. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emily Best, the force behind "F*ck Yes" -a new channel that offers up super-hot shorts showing how consent can be very sexy indeed. We love what they are doing, and you should check it out. And, ...


Savage Love Episode 592
A woman gave her husband permission to see an escort when he was out of town. But she didn't give him permission to spend a small fortune on her!! An open-minded straight man has had quite enough with the sexual cavorting that takes place in his gym's hot tub, thank you very much! Is he being homophobic? Should he rat them out? On the Magnum, kids are getting in big trouble for sexting, sending pics and other activities that most teens routinely engage in. Dan speaks with Robby Soave from Reason.com about t...

Savage Love Episode 591
A gay man's boyfriend insists on showering just before sex, every single time. But the caller likes a little funk! How can they reconcile this fundamental difference. Dan's answer is sneaky. Don't be alarmed, but one of this week's questions requires the expertise of a mortician. On the Magnum, Dan enlists New York Times rival columnist Roxane Gay for a Second Opinion on folks who get dumped, and can't deal. Also, hear the tale of the man and his very, very rich employer-  a petty woman who doesn't hesitate...

Savage Love Episode 590
A woman is worried that a couple she's friends with will ask her and her husband to swing. How can she politely tell them that she and her husband don't roll that way? A man's new boyfriend is so wonderful! Their relationship is beautiful and amazing.  Unfortunately, he is also a homeless, lying meth-head. How can the caller confront his boyfriend with compassion? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Justin Lehmiller about a study looking at cuckolding among gay men. And, a woman's mother's boyfriend invites h...


Savage Love Episode 589
A female college student is busy planning her orgy. She wants to make sure the night is comfortable, fun and safe, with minimal awkwardness. Dan Savage, (the Martha Stewart of orgy planning,)  is here to help. A man's good (female) friend is planning to go on a date with one of his acquaintances. What the man knows, and the friend doesn't is that this date is a transman. Should he tip off his friend ahead of time? Or let it unspool in it's own sweet time? Yikes! The robots are making the porn now! Erotic fi...

Savage Love Episode 588
Gather round, and hear two nasty tales of violent, crazy girlfriends. Would you date someone who painted all over your sheets and poured liquor on your clothes? You would? Oh, never mind then. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Nicole Mazzeo, founder of Pleasure Pie and creator of  "The Art of the Solicited Dick Pic" a zine for the folks out there who love a naughty surprise on their phones.    And, a phone sex worker wonders how she can handle men who want to engage in emotionally scarring sex chatter. What a w...

Savage Love Episode 587
Whoa, no way! It's Sarah Silverman! This week Dan caught up with Sarah Silverman to chat about her show "I Love You America."  They also answered some callers' questions about conquering jealousy,  and kids sticking things up their butts, among other things. She is a superior human and you should listen to the whole thing. A sub woman has been chatting with a dom. But he lacks experience, and he's maybe too short? How can she end it without offending him? Also, a woman just can't reclaim the inherent sexine...


Savage Love Episode 586
This week is no big deal. Our guest is just Cecile Richards, the PRESIDENT OF PLANNED PARENTHOOD. She graciously joined us to discuss her mighty organization, the battle they do daily to provide sexual health, and to answer a question about a woman's yucky Trump-supportin' mama. If, by some weird fluke you have not yet donated to Planned Parenthood, you are commanded to do so immediately. Also, a woman and her husband don't quite know how to ask a couple they are friendly with if they would like to watch th...

Savage Love Episode 585
A man is into being tied up and pegged. But his wife finds it dull, tedious, boring and stultifying. Should he give up on the idea, or find a way to convince his wife that she could have some fun here. Oh no! More S&M trouble! A woman had a great date with a hot dom who dommed her so, so right. But now she feels nothing but shame. How can she clear out all the kink-phobia from her naughty brain? On the Magnum, our resident sex toy reviewer Erika Moen has found a toy to help you DO YOUR KEGELS. Do them now. ...

Savage Love Episode 584
A woman is facing old school, mild harassment at her law firm, of all places. How can she learn to shut these men down without looking like a Grumpy Gertie? A man is dating a new woman who seems great. But! She reminds him so much of his abusive ex, that he can't even. Should he explain his sudden absence to her? Break up cleanly? Try to make it work? On the Magnum, racial erotics ahoy! It would appear that white men want black men to fuck them. But what of the black man who just wants to get fucked? Dan en...


Savage Love Episode 583
A woman struggles to advise her friend who is intolerant of her husband watching a little porn. Hear the dark drama of a gay man who made plans to get tied up by a stranger. All hail Luke Burbank! The clever and kindly host of TBTL and Live Wire Radio demeans himself to discuss open relationships, anal sex as revenge, and the rise of the sex robots. How he manages to keep his dignity intact is a bit of a head-scratcher. Also, a woman is burdened with unwanted cuckold fantasies. Should she purge her brain of...

Savage Love Episode 582
A woman's 13 year-old brother wants to shave his crotch. And now mom is FREAKING OUT and the whole family is in disarray over the pubes she found in the sink! A straight couple gets recognized in a bar from an online profile they placed together a long time ago. The woman in the couple pretended it wasn't them. Was this a) wrong, b) chicken, c) sex shaming to man who noticed them, or d) all of the above. On the Magnum, Dan chats with feminist writer Vonny Leclerc on how hard men have it now that they aren't...

Savage Love Episode 581
The kinksters have their "aftercare"- time after a rough sexual encounter to reconnect and comfort each other. But what about after casual vanilla sex? A woman wants to instigate an aftercare revolution for all. Dan gently, patiently explains away some men's rights nonsense to a man incensed at at a fictional "double standard." On the Magnum, a woman who tends to choose abusive men wonders how she can prevent herself from making this mistake over and over again. Dan brings on Lynn Fairweather, domestic viol...


Savage Love Episode 580
A man is enjoying his new cool girlfriend. The thing is? She isn't an insane lunatic like his other girlfriends. Is this a problem? Oh man. This one's good. Should a woman accept her ex's offer to give his KIDNEY to her desperately ill father? Will there be strings attached? Oh my god? On the Magnum, Dan chats with stand-up comedian Cameron Esposito. And, a woman had some awesome group sex at an Air BnB. The owner gave her a very public negative review. Was she sex-shamed? Should she be more discreet next t...

Savage Love Episode 579
"Why won't my girlfriend go down on me?!" asks this nice man, who goes down on her plenty. Does she not like it? What? Nancy and Dan wring their hands together about words, and Nancy reveals something truly horrible about herself. On the Magnum, Dan and Google's powerhouse Distinguished Scientist Blaise Agüera y Arcas discuss artificial intelligence, facial recognition software, privacy and other deeply creepy topics. A woman and her husband of 6 years have discovered that they share the same rare kink. But...

Savage Love Episode 578
A married man is deliciously conflicted as his wife sleeps with women. It turns him on at first, but then jealousy and resentment settle in. How to reconcile? A woman newly broken up with her boyfriend has some recent boudoir photos kicking around. Should she send them to him? On the Magnum, listen in on our live show in Vancouver with Esther Perel, author of "Mating in Captivity." Dan and Esther take long hard look at the history of human relationships and our culture's obsession with monogamy. YOUR DAYS A...


Savage Love Episode 577
It appears we have reached a cultural moment when we need "The Ten Dick Commandments." Dan chisels a few in the tablet. Gather round the circle listeners, as Dan invokes the serenity prayer to council a woman who is being trolled by her neighbor's WiFi network name. A trans man who has not yet begun his transition, is angry and frustrated that he can't find any gay men who are interested in him. Buck Angel, (a.k.a the Man with a Pussy) swoops in to give much-needed, rational perspective. On the Magnum: Get ...

Savage Love Episode 576
Fire up a giant J-bone, brothers and sisters cuz it's the WEED EPISODE. With professional marijuana enthusiast David Schmader -author of "Weed: A User's Guide." David joined us in our studio to talk about how marijuana can enhance sex, what strains are the sexiest, what to do if you NEED marijuana to get off, and more. 206-302-2064 Thanks to Bombfell for supporting Savage Lovecast. Bombfell is an online personal styling service for men that helps find the right clothes for you. Get $25 off your first purcha...

Savage Love Episode 575
A woman from the UK wonders why Americans are so quick to commit to each other after just a little bit of sex. Dan's history lesson explains it all. A woman and her husband are into hot-spousing. It's been super-fun and brought them closer together as a couple. But her husband gets racked with guilt each time, and runs to tell his priest ALL ABOUT IT.  What's his damage? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Mayor Betsy Hodges of Minneapolis about being on the vanguard of urban resistance. Keep fightin' Betsy! And,...


Savage Love Episode 574
A married woman is totally accepting of her husband's newfound love of cross-dressing. But! She wishes he wouldn't borrow HER clothes. Dan interviews high powered lawyer Carrie Goldberg about her work prosecuting online harassers, revenge pornography and domestic violence abusers. She is a hero. On the Magnum, how can a woman stop masturbating to thoughts of her ex? Finally, a father worries that his children's idea to go as "gay rights" for Halloween might be...misguided? 206-302-2064 This episode of the S...

Savage Love Episode 573
A woman has been monogamous with her boyfriend for 5 years.  But she really wants to fuck the Swedish handyman. Should she fuck the Swedish handyman? A white woman and her boyfriend are into the whole Japanese schoolgirl thing. Is this racist? Is it wrong? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Carsie Blanton, creator of a dirty, nasty, filthy card game that sounds really fun. Check it out at www.thefingtruth.com. And, a divorced man finds he keeps dating women who say they are down for casual relationships, but whe...

Savage Love Episode 572
The Kissing Clause: should kissing come standard in a relationship? Dan interviews Angela Robinson, the director of "Professor Marsten and the Wonder Women"- a documentary about the poly, Dom/sub, super-freak creator of the Wonder Woman comics. On the Magnum, a woman's male co-worker is getting pimped out against his will by his boyfriend. Dan brings on sex worker rights activist Mistress Matisse to discuss how to support the lad. And, a man in a 7-year triad, fears he will soon be replaced. 206-302-2064 Th...


Savage Love Episode 571
Darling? Whatever shall we do at our coming trip to the Bondage Bed & Breakfast? A married woman gets busted by her husband for camming. She doesn't consider it cheating, and it gets her so, so horny. How can she reconcile with her husband and still get her camming rocks off? On the magnum, Dan brings back our regular guest, Erika Moen to go over a HEAVY sex toy you all should add to your arsenal. And, a man's sister is a former prison guard who started dating one of the inmates. He doesn't seem like the be...

Savage Love Episode 570
A woman is considering finding herself a sugar daddy to make ends meet. Should she tell her boyfriend? A man has a friendly relationship with his ex-girlfriend. He just doesn't want to see her and her new man splattered all over his social media. Would it be petty to mute her for a while? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Eli Finkel, author of "The All-or-Nothing Marriage." And, a woman's husband suddenly has a glamorous job with lots of fancy perks! She has been the bread-winner all this time, and feels resent...

Savage Love Episode 569
This show begins and ends with circumcision. A woman is dating her first uncut man and wonders if Dan has any... tips. Then, at the end of the Magnum, an uncut man who is into "pig play" (that's dick-stank- you're welcome,) wonders if he should get himself an adult circumcision. So there's that to ponder. A high school teacher and her pal wonder why the kids are so into hickeys. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Slate writer Mark Joseph Stern, about the infuriating phenomenon of left wing anti-semitism. 206-302...


Savage Love Episode 568
A woman offers proof that sexual harassment is about power. One of her students, a gay man, sexually harasses her regularly. Why would he do this? A fetish too far: A woman's boyfriend can only get off if they are doing play simulating kidnapping, bondage and human trafficking. She broke up with him because she just couldn't go there all the time. But now he feels shamed. Poor baby. Dan welcomes comedian Amy Miller to talk about the inadvisability of fucking comedians. Also, hear the tale of the woman with ...

Savage Love Episode 567
A couple are dismayed that the condom keeps slipping off when they're doing it doggie style. Dan offers some time-honored tricks. Disability Awareness Consultant Andrew Gurza, schools us all about dating folks with disabilities. On the Magnum, Dan chats with author Jesse Bering about penis size and natural selection. Science! And speaking of penises, can you pump that thing up and make it bigger in the same way you can stretch an earlobe? 206-302-2064 Today's episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by Fiv...

Savage Love Episode 566
We start the show with a cavalcade of yucky calls about Nazis! Can a dom command his sub to come? Does this really happen? On the Magnum, Dan answers a bunch of calls from parents of teens with Deb Hauser, President of Advocates for Youth. 206-302-2064 Today’s episode is also brought to you by Blue Apron- the delivery service that sends you fresh ingredients and incredible recipes so you can make fabulous meals at home. Check out this week’s menu and get your first 3 meals free by going to BlueApron.com/Sav...


Savage Love Episode 565
What do you do when your best friend is dating a con man? A woman has been with her boyfriend for a year. He has a key to her apartment, and regularly lets himself in when she isn't there, even though she told him not to. How big of a problem do we have here? On the Magnum, Dan talks to Alexander Cheves who published a controversial article in The Advocate about what place, if any, women have in gay bars. And, a woman's best friend also happens to be her step-mother. (Same age though.) How can the caller co...

Savage Love Episode 564
A seemingly kind man only gets off when his girlfriend is in pain. She noticed this and plays it up to please him. Don't tell him this, but she isn't in pain. She loves it. But what if her acting skills fail? A  woman has started dating a man who travels a lot and has a girlfriend in every city. Should she join his sprawling harem? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Samantha Joel, in a "What You Got?" about the psychology of what make someone finally decide to end a relationship. And, a woman gets cold easil...

Savage Love Episode 563
On the opening rant: Coming Out 101. What happens next? A mother's pre-teen daughter wants to wear a leather S&M-style choker. How can mom explain why this might not be a good idea? For both the Magnum and the Micro version we were honored to have Dr. Sarah Pentlicky from Planned Parenthood in the studio to answer some gnarly medical questions. Dental dams? Check. Warty dicks? Check. Surf Shorts? Check. Wait, what? As you would expect, she handled them all with supreme calm, poise and intelligence. That's P...


Savage Love Episode 562
If your boyfriend wants you to help him to film women so he can scratch his voyeur itch, is there an ethical way to do this? Hear the sordid tale of the the woman who wants to call Child Protective Services on her own damn boyfriend. On the Magnum, Dan chats with writer and BDSM educator Mollena Williams about "sub space" -what it is, and what it isn't. Also, a woman is getting annoyed that her boyfriend keeps presenting her with highly scripted sex scenarios that probably originated from porn. How can she ...

Savage Love Episode 561
A gay man hooked up with a hot guy- great lover. But his micro-penis made the caller wonder if his lover was perhaps a transman. Should he ask him? Does it matter?  A man's ten year-old son has come out as gay. The worried father bemoans his child's fate living on the "margins of society." Dan issues a reality check and a rebuke. It's 2017 dad, not the 1800s. "Margins of Society" indeed... On the Magnum, Jon Ronson, author of "The Psychopath Test" is on to talk about "bespoke pornography" and confirms the m...

Savage Love Episode 560
A man's girlfriend won't let him watch Game of Thrones due to all the violence against women. Does she have the right? Should we all be boycotting the show? Salon's Amanda Marcotte is here to weigh in. A lesbian is exploring dom/sub play with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend wants her to talk dirty and tell her to shut up. But our lesbian feels uncomfortable in their small apartment with thin walls. What's a GGG girl to do? On the Magnum, how much fisting is too much fisting? A University of Washington gyneco...


Savage Love Episode 559
If your Tinder guy can't get it up, should you move on, or give him a chance? A woman is dating a man 13 years her senior. Is this sort of age difference inherently immoral because...Woody Allen? On the Magnum, a deep dive into trans world with Buck Angel (a.k.a. The Man with a Pussy.) He is simply wonderful, and you must listen. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Astroglide O- USDA certified organic dual-purpose massage oil and personal lubricant. Try a free sample at Astroglide.com/purepleasur...

Savage Love Episode 558
A gay marine wants to keep his dick locked up in a chastity cage. His problem is...wait. Isn't that first sentence enough for you? A straight man has noticed that ALL of his friends are into feet. Why would this be? On the Magnum we welcome Mistress Matisse, to talk about her new magical lube. Also with Mistress Matisse, how can you explain the beautiful bruises your dom gives you? 206-302-2064 This episode is also brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30-day trial at Audible.com/savage. Today’s episode is ...

Savage Love Episode 557
A man is just about to end his Grindr relationship with a dude whose girlfriend knows nothing of his exploits. Should he drop the info on this poor girl before he leaves town? Dan interviews Seth Davidowitz, author of "Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are." Basically, when you look at Google searches, people are just as nasty as can be. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Viro, co-host of the furry relationship advice podcast "Feral Attraction" on furries, b...


Savage Love Episode 556
Wait. Are public orgasms ok now? A man and his girlfriend observed a woman having one, right there, out on the street, in broad daylight.   A gay man broke one of his rules. His boyfriend is still closeted to his family, and when they come to town, the caller has to clear out. Can this work? Does he have to break up?     On the Magnum, Dan chats with author and editor Michael Hobbes about the particular challenges middle-aged gay men face in dating.   Finally... "Hey there, old friend who I used to know in ...

Savage Love Episode 555
A woman is engaged to be married. She has been with about 80 lovers, and he has never been with anyone but her. He begs her to tell him all about her adventures to the point of obsession. Why does he wants to hear it all, and does she have to tell him? A man with a roommate feels like he's living with our horrible president: i.e. rich, entitled, lazy and mean. How can he convince this brute's girlfriend that she can do better? On the Magnum, a man wishes LA had the kind of kinky parties that NYC has. Whip s...

Savage Love Episode 554
A woman wants to try a three-way. But all the posts online are riddled with spelling and grammar errors. (Not sexy!) How can she forge a more classy connection? A woman has been with her fiancé for 5 years. He loves to play with her nipples, but she hates it. And guess what? She has never told him this. Before they wed, how can she confess that she's been grinning and bearing it the whole time? On the Magnum, how drunk does a straight boy have to be before he'll get it on with another guy? An intrepid scien...


Savage Love Episode 553
Oh, that nasty chef! A woman works in a restaurant where her manager is having an affair with the married chef. Sometimes the caller has to serve the chef's poor innocent wife. It's so cruel, that all the servers are about to revolt. A married man harbors a cuckolding fantasy. He is certain his wife would never-ever be into it. But would she? Also, we couldn't help but play a couple of Rachel Lark songs, cuz they're so good. And on the Magnum, have you heard of "Hypersomnia?" A woman can't keep herself awak...

Savage Love Episode 552
A straight male weight-lifter likes to shave his chest and pits. His friends are giving him grief about it. How can this sensitive strongman get over the peer pressure and revel in his smooth, lovely body? A gay man's foster son has had a rough life. And now he realizes they are both on Grindr. Awkward? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Nathaniel Frank, author of Awakening: How Gays and Lesbians Brought Marriage Equality to America.  And, a woman's sister used to be in an abusive relationship, which she kept hi...

Savage Love Episode 551
A man and a woman used to date, but now they're just friends. The woman got married and doesn't want her rich husband to know that she used to date the caller. Is it because she's embarrassed that the caller doesn't make enough money? From three-way to third wheel...a gay man with a long term boyfriend opened up their relationship to bring on another man. But now the boyfriend is getting closer and closer to the new guy. Do we have a problem here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with our go-to sex toy expert Erica...


Savage Love Episode 550
A couple of ex-Mormons started dating. He broke up with her because she wasn't "nice." But don't worry everybody- he immediately came back to her. Then he broke up with her because he's gay. But it's ok! He changed his mind on that as well and came back to her. Now he isn't sure if he wants to be with her because of her jealousy issues. Ah, true love. A 13 year-old girl came out as gay to her mother, who easily accepts this. But grandma! She's a big ole Christian homophobe. Should the caller out her daughte...

Savage Love Episode 549
A gay man living in Jerusalem wants to get with one of the orthodox guys who are always furtively eyeing him. But how can he make his move? A married man in an open relationship is SO BUSTED when he installs recording devices in his wife's room when she's having a man over. How can he channel his voyeur fetish on a consensual way? Dan sidles right up next to Rachel Bloom, star and creator of "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" to talk about Tinder jerks, anal novices and getting ogled on stage. Some is on the Micro, all ...

Savage Love Episode 548
A man has been with his lady for one year. She has lost her sex drive, and asks for him to find ways to limit his libido. Should they try counseling? Meditation? Chemical castration? Or maybe there's another option... A gay man and his straight friend used to fool around together when they were children. After a long silence, the straight friend has reemerged with a proposal to resume. It's a small town. There are aren't many gay people. The guy is totally hot. Should the gay man take him up on his offer? O...


Savage Love Episode 547
A woman's in-laws have 12 cats. They won't travel to see the caller's family (including the 2 small children,) because they can't bear to leave the mewling kitties. Are they mentally ill and is there any way to explain this behavior to the kids? A bondage-loving lass goes to clubs and gets tied up by a strictly platonic tying partner. Her boyfriend is ok with it, but feels a little spooked. How can she reassure him that what she and the tying partner do isn't sex? On the Magnum, it's our first do-over! Dan ...

Savage Love Episode 546
Gather round, Lovecast listeners. Hear the tale of the pansexual housecleaner and the nasty surprise. Can a giant penis instigate menstrual bleeding? Is there anything a giant penis can't do? Ob/gyn and activist Leah Torres, is here to answer. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Marc Andreyko, creator of Love is Love: the beautiful, heart-rending compilation of comics commemorating the Pulse shootings. If you haven't yet gotten a copy, please do. Dan and Marc chat about the horror of that event as well as the im...

Savage Love Episode 545
A man gets turned on by the sight of his girlfriend smoking. The problem is, she doesn't smoke. We get our monthly sex toy review by the delightful (and knowledgable) Erika Moen. This week: a big ole vibrator called The Doxy. On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Terri Conley in a "What You Got?" about the relative happiness of monogamous vs. non-monogamous couples. And, how to break up with a dumb, religious bigot. Quick answer: Immediately. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Seeso, the subscriptio...


Savage Love Episode 544
A straight man is into pre-op transwomen in an odd way. He wants nothing to do with their penises, but just likes knowing they're there. In another penis-obsessed call, a man with big 'un is dismayed when a lady fails to swoon at the sight of his flaccid dong. Doesn't she know about showers vs. growers?! On the Magnum, Dan welcomes RIVAL advice columnist Minda Honey from Leo Weekly in Kentucky. They discuss the etiquette of what one does when a fellow do