Savage Lovecast

Savage Lovecast Podcast

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription.

Savage Love Episode 647
A woman and her husband are having a difficult year. And to top it off, he divulged that he likes to wear women's clothes, and would like to raid her closet. She worries that this is just the first step toward a transgender identity. Do straight men ever like to wear women's clothes? (Spoiler: Yes.) A woman's conservative cousin has started working at a "Crisis Parenting Center," that gives misinformation about abortion. Should she confront her? On the Magnum, Dan chats with his soul brother the Broadway go...

Savage Love Episode 646
Yowsers! It's the TRIGGER SHOW. This show is pretty gnarly. There's molestation, pedophilia, incest, snuff porn, dicks in a drawer, blubbering boyfriends and even doggity style! Listen in if you dare. On the Magnum, we also have Dan's transman pal Jens Cinguemani on to take a few trans-oriented calls. 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support...

Savage Love Episode 645
A woman has taken up with two men. One of them is a pal, and it's all about the sex. The other one is her perfect fit emotionally, but the sex is on the "meh" side. How on earth can she choose between them? A while back we had on a guest who turned out to be a charlatan! He duped a lot of media outlets, the Lovecast included. Dan interviews the journalist from Gizmodo who outed this fraud. Crow: it's what's for dinner. On the Magnum, a woman is dating a guy who is great in every way, except! He has terrible...


Savage Love Episode 603
A white man is dating an Asian man and tends to be attracted to Asian men. Does this make him a rice queen? Is it racist to be a rice queen? Can learn to feel attraction toward other races? A straight man has a great girlfriend except for one little problem. She gives painful blowjobs with her sharp little teeth.  After three long years, he's never complained. How can he explain what he likes down there? And on the Magnum, a man with staggeringly high libido (12 times per day sounds about right to him) is i...

Savage Love Episode 644
A man lives in a duplex below a couple women. One day, he heard them having sex, and it inspired him to have a wank. Now he feels guilty. Is he an Eavesdropping Tom? A woman hooked up with a younger man. He asked her if his penis looked like it was circumcised. He wasn't and she told him so. How could a fella possibly not know this about himself? It is very perplexing. On the Magnum Dan has a long conversation with Johann Hari - the author of "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and...

Savage Love Episode 643
When bisexual friends go wild: A lesbian has been buddies with a bi woman for a while. Guess what happened when they got drunk! Now, the bi friend is asking her boyfriend for a hall pass to sleep with the lesbian friend. But will their friendship be able to withstand all this newfound passion? Hear two tales concerning the ethics of HIV disclosure: A male/female couple have always been bi and open. But when they both got HIV it became much more difficult to find other partners willing to take the risk. And,...


Savage Love Episode 642
A woman makes twice as much as her boyfriend. When he learned this his eyes went wide. Now she feels guilty. Should she start paying more of the bills? Do you like piña coladas? A kinky woman started dating a new man. Before she could tell him about her kinks she discovered that the dude she's been talking dirty with on Fetlife is THE SAME GUY, but he doesn't know it yet. How can she tell him that they are already...acquainted? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Eric Leue from the Free Speech Coalition about the...

Episode 184: Dan’s Back!
Dan Savage returns to help Eli Sanders and Katie Herzog deal with Trump’s very weird and upsetting State of the Union address. Also discussed: Nancy Pelosi’s epic clap-back and Stacey Abrams’s delivery of the official Democratic response to Trump’s speech. After that, WTF is going in Virginia? Rich Smith tells Eli and Katie what he thinks should be done about a Democratic governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general who are all suddenly in very big trouble over pasts that appear to include either bla...

Savage Love Episode 641
Hey uncircumcised fellas! Would you get cut because your girlfriend wanted you to? Because she thought that it made your dick bigger? Would you really? This guy did. Hear the tale of a man's sexual adventure in Las Vegas, and how he can't seem to find a lady unless he's paying her. Gracing us on both the Micro and the Magnum, sex researcher Dr. Zhana Vrangalova explains the current state of the science on squirting. What exactly is that stuff anyway? Then she stayed on to help answer a question on the Magnu...


Savage Love Episode 640
Therapy is good right? It gets you in touch with your feelings. Unless...those feelings you are getting in touch with are jealousy, paranoia and possessiveness. Sometimes it's time to BACK AWAY FROM THE FEELINGS. Anyway, here's the kind of question you really came for: A woman is about to turn thirty and wants to throw a big sex party with XTC a'flowin'. But she is also a mom and wants to invite her other mom friends. Should she offer them party drugs too? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Andrew Gurza from the...

Savage Love Episode 639
Let's call this the BAD BEHAVIOR show, because some of you are doing terrible things. We start with a teen who has been sneaking off with her mother's vibrator. How can her long-suffering parents encourage her to use one without using *that particular* one? A woman's new boyfriend begs her to let him change her tampon, saying it would bring them closer together. Is this a fetish of his? Is this a fetish of anyone's? This isn't "bad," per se but just what the Sam Hill is going on on here? On the Magnum, Dan ...

Savage Love Episode 638
A gay man is sick of always having to initiate with his new boyfriend. The boyfriend is a big guy, but very submissive. How can the caller get the dude to make a move now and again? A woman caught her fiancé wanking to photos of his exes. Now she feels jealous and insecure. How can she get over it? On the Magnum, hear two tales of companionate marriages: How to do it right, and how to do it wrong. And, a woman with baby fever is single, but hell bent on reproducing. She is convinced her parents will disappr...


Savage Love Episode 637
A Jewish woman is bringing her boyfriend to the Hanukkah party. Great, right? But as always, there's a problem. He has a HITLER MUSTACHE. Because he "likes the look." Dan chats with this woman, and you get to listen. A young man's parents discovered kinky sexts on his phone. How can he explain BDSM to his freaked out mom n' pop? On the Magnum, a man is in an open relationship, but his girlfriend doesn't like that he sees sex workers. He just likes it. Should he try to stop? Or keep doing it and lie? Or brea...

Savage Love Episode 636
The first call of 2019 is all about public sex. So that's how things are looking. We then move on to a deep, methodical analysis of the life cycle of your vibrator. How long should those things last anyway? On the Magnum, Dan chats with queer sex writer Sophie Saint Thomas about her article in Playboy titled "Are Some People Just Slapping the Poly Label on their Cheating?" We are very sorry to report that the answer is yes, yes they are. And, an anxious sister wants to counsel her 16 year-old brother on his...

Savage Love Episode 635
Gather round the Lovecast Christmas tree children, and see what audio gifts we have for you! Why, here's a question from a power bottom who pees when he gets fucked!  And look! A woman's boyfriend won't use sex toys on her if they've been used before. Should she ask Santa to get her some brand new, still-in-the-box butt plugs? And, oh good heavens, Dan's friend Philip has some advice for a woman with hemorrhoids. He likens them to "a heart attack in your ass." On the Magnum version, which you should give as...


Savage Love Episode 634
Dear Australia, Hi! This is the Savage Lovecast. Listen. Do you guys refer to the very common sexual position where a man enters a woman from behind while she is on all fours as ..."Doggity Style?" No? We didn't think so. (Both Dan and Nancy are gobsmacked by this call.) A man's friend has been accused of sexual assault from when they were both in a pseudo-Christian cult. The caller believes the women, but also wants to support his friend and help him to become a better person. How? Strap-ons...for MEN??!! ...

Savage Love Episode 633
A woman had sex with a pre-op transwoman. But she didn't make the caller come, or even try. Now the caller wonders if this is a "vagina-bodied" vs "non vagina-bodied" problem, or just a "jerk" problem. A married gay man with kids begs Dan for a quick n' dirty guide on how to add a third partner into their relationship. How can they have adventures and maintain the sanctity of their family unit? On the Magnum version, check out Canada! They are slowly but surely opening sex doll & robot brothels. Is this gon...

Savage Love Episode 632
A man has tried group sex a couple times. But when he shows up his dick doesn't. What is going on here? Oh this story! A girl started seeing her therapist at age 17. At age 19, she confessed to her 45 year-old therapist that she loved him. So, naturally he told her that he loved her back. They married and had a kid. (Really.) Then they divorced. (Of course.) Now, when her kid or friends ask how she met her ex, she doesn't know what to say. What should she say? And how can she process all the disturbing, con...


Savage Love Episode 631
Well looky who blew into town! Stormy Daniels came on over to our studio to answer callers' questions about blow jobs, toxic men, protecting the male ego and other hazards. Stormy and Dan got on like a house on fire, and you must listen to it. A couple questions are on the Micro version and many more are on the Magnum. Also, how to get used to using "they/them" pronouns. 206-302-2064 This episode of Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Away. Away makes first-class luggage at coach prices that allow you to c...

Savage Love Episode 630
We have a word for a woman who sleeps with a straight couple. That's a unicorn, of course. But what should we call a man who provides the same service? Cuz we have a male caller who is totally down. A woman has reconnected with an old high school chum. The friend immediately asked the caller to be the bridesmaid at her upcoming wedding. The caller said yes, only to learn that the groom-to-be is a Trump-supporting, racist jackass. Should she bail on her sacred duty? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan cha...

Savage Love Episode 629
Here in Seattle, we have a sportsball team called "The Sounders." On the Savage Lovecast, well, it's another matter altogether. Oh look! It's Nancy, putting the men who fear/refuse vasectomies on blast. Dan's on your side, fellas. Nancy is not. On the Magnum, a caller has hit rock bottom and quit drinking. But he wonders if he can ever have a single beer again. Is it possible to drink in moderation if you're an alcoholic? Dan brings on clinical psychologist (and co-founder of CheckUp & Choices) Dr. Reid Hes...


Savage Love Episode 628
A woman has been with her fiancé for 4 years. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he's started moaning and groaning in bed like a porn starlet. Why the sudden vocalizations? IS HE CHEATING ON HER? An asexual, non-binary person feels like an invader when they show up at BDSM parties. Is it alright to join that community when you are uninterested in sex? On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome back author, sex educator and bitter podcasting rival Tristan Taormino. She and Dan discuss strap-ons, and how to peg...

Savage Love Episode 627
A sugar baby has fallen in love with her sugar daddy. He loves her too! Except, he kind of doesn't want her to meet his actual daughter. Does she have the right to demand it? A coach at a college has been asked to drive one of her students to get an abortion. Because of where they live, it will take 4 hours. Should she do it? Welcome to America. On the Magnum, things get a little gnarly with our urologist pal, Dr. Stephen King. How many times you can handle hearing the words "dorsal slit" being said without...

Savage Love Episode 626
In the intro, Dan and blogger/trans rights activist Parker Molloy fume over 45's latest anti-trans bluster. A straight man who is apparently just learning some basic facts about our world, wants to know: Do gays ever get divorced? On the Magnum, things get a bit more complicated. Dan interviews Dr. Justin Lehmiller, author of "Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.” They discuss the origins of kinks, and if you can shut them off if they bum you out...


Savage Love Episode 625
A couple adopted a disturbed dog, hell-bent on destroying their sex life! It jumps on the bed, and barks when they try to get busy, and whimpers, barks and whines when left outside the door. Dan "Dog Whisperer" Savage leaps to the rescue. Speaking of mental illness, Ellen Forney, the brilliant cartoonist behind "Marbles" is back to discuss dating with bipolar disorder, and her new book "Rock Steady." If you are or love someone with bipolar, this is the show for you. Also, you should buy her books immediatel...

Savage Love Episode 624
If you found out that your gal pal in her 20s had a hook up with a 17 year-old lad, would you call the cops on her? Should you? Ok, seriously. What is up with adult babies? Dan interviews Lo, of the Dream a Little podcast exploring the relationships between folks who get off on this kind of role play. We suspect you will emerge enlightened. A woman uses the tried and true "pillow humping" technique when she masturbates. Her boyfriend wants her to film it so he can watch. But will he be turned off? Disgusted...

Savage Love Episode 623
A married couple's teen daughter gets super-irritated when her parents have noisy sex. She sends them snarky texts imploring them to stop. Maybe she includes an eye-rolling emoji or a throwing-up kitten or some such teenaged thing. The dad in this couple doesn't want to "break her." What does Dan Savage have to say? Our guest this week, (on the Micro! You're welcome!) is Brook Urick of Seeking.com- a site where sugar babies can meet their ideal sugar daddy. Hooray! But is this relationship by nature commodi...


Savage Love Episode 622
Parents, hear this cautionary tale: A man has been in his loving, kinky, poly marriage for 21 years. His wife accidentally clicked the wrong button and synched up her super gnarly BDSM pics onto her 9 year-old daughter's phone. So now there's some 'splaining to do. A woman lives in an apartment building in NYC. At first, her neighbor appeared to be really nice! Then he started sending her dick pics with his infant in the background. On the Magnum: "Honey? What would you like for your birthday?" This innocen...

Savage Love Episode 621
A woman enjoys anonymous webcamming with older men. But do they cross a line when they both pretend that she's... very young? A poly father doesn't know how to explain his healthy, happy relationships to his 5 year old daughter. On the Magnum, Dan enlists JP Brammer, author of the "Hola Papi" advice column to talk about interracial dating and to take down a personal trainer/tease. And, a guy with a girlfriend is sick of everyone asking when they're going to have kids. They don't want kids. What is wrong wit...

Savage Love Episode 620
A young woman's boyfriend regularly gets her sexually aroused and then rolls over and goes to sleep without finishing the job. And then they fight. Why would he do this? A young gay man doesn't understand why his fuckbuddy only texts him when he wants to...well, fuck. On the Magnum: If you are a gay man, and want to give blood, you're out of luck. Blood centers do not accept blood donations from gay men. Is this based on science or stigma? It's a little of both, as it turns out in this discussion with Dr. N...


Savage Love Episode 619
A woman's mother died last year. Her dad is dating someone new. The caller and her siblings just aren't ready to welcome their dad's girlfriend into their lives, let alone include her at Christmas. The caller feels she has to choose between her siblings and her father. Tough times, these. A straight man felt slighted when a woman wouldn't give him her phone number, and in public! He feels sad and humiliated and wonders if the male ego should be given just a little more weight and protection. On the Magnum, ...

Savage Love Episode 618
We start this week's adventure with a couple who have a secret unicorn at their beck and call. The wife in the couple doesn't want anyone to know. But the unicorn lass has already told some friends and wants to be more open about the relationship. Who will win this one? A 27 year-old woman has a distant relationship with her father. He is 64. Guess how old his new girlfriend is. You're right! Same age as the caller! Now, whenever they chat, he puts her on speaker-phone if the new girlfriend is there. Why? W...

Savage Love Episode 617
A woman got together with what seemed to be the perfect man for her. Kinky. Into spanking. And social justice! But after they got together she discovered that he is really the married pastor of a conservative mega-church. Dan counsels her on whether to unmask this lying creep. A gay man came out late in life. When he tells his dates this, they balk. How can he reveal his truth to the men in his life and still earn their respect? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the estimable Dr. Lori Brotto about her new book:...


Savage Love Episode 616
Come hear the sordid tale of the couple who invited a woman over, only to have her wet the bed so thoroughly that she soaked right through to the mattress. Bad unicorn! Erika Moen of "Oh Joy Sex Toy?" is on to review her husband's fave new toy. What could it be? On the Magnum, a woman dislikes her parters the instant she has sex with them. How can she yank out that bad wiring? And, pineapples. They are laden with meaning. 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Boll and Branch:...

Savage Love Episode 615
A woman keeps dating men who hide her and won't acknowledge that she exists on social media. What on earth is going on here? A woman knows that her personal trainer is a Christian. But is he the good kind or the bad kind? Should she find out before she continues her patronage? On the Magnum version, Amp from "Watt's the Safeword" is on to explain and discuss the phenomenon of "sub drop" in pornography and in the wild. And, what it really means when you're attracted to Wonder Woman. 206-302-2064 This episode...

Savage Love Episode 614
"Dan? If someone sticks a lollypop in my vagina, will I get a yeast infection?" Sincerely, the very first caller. A married woman was horrified to discover raunchy pics of her husband's first cousin on his phone. Would this horrify you? On the Magnum, did you know that you can find instructions for a home abortion...in the Bible?! Well you can, and Dan's guest, the blogger Jesse Cramer tells us all about it. Also, a VERY WOKE man, who ALWAYS OBTAINS CONSENT, because he VERY MUCH CARES ABOUT WOMEN, doesn't u...


Savage Love Episode 613
A woman who lives in a group house likes listening in when someone is having sex near her. Handwringing ensues. Is this unethical? Should she feel guilty? Should she stop? A woman who has gone from eating way too little to eating way too much, wrestles with how to talk about the diminishing sex with her boyfriend. On the Magnum, Dan convenes a high-powered lesbian panel to handle a few questions concerning processing, fighting, processing, how to define yourself, and processing. Lady-loving ladies rejoice! ...

Savage Love Episode 612
A lesbian is a divorcée at age 20. How can she tell her future girlfriends that she had spectacularly bad judgement when she was of a tender age? Hey everyone! Meet Jason, the offended gay Christian! He wishes Dan wouldn't be so derisive of religion. Dan has an answer for him. On the Magnum, a caller is studying to become a sexuality professor. This makes her dates FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Dan brings on an actual sexuality professor -Dr. Debby Herbenick- to address how she dealt with her dating life. And, what s...

Savage Love Episode 611
A liberal, PC, feminist, woke man loves to humiliate, slap and call women sluts in the bedroom. (Always consensually.) How can he reconcile the two opposing sides of his personality? A woman and her husband have befriended another family in their new town. The couple revealed that the man is a transman, and that she should ask any questions she wants to. But the caller clammed up and didn't ask. Is it too late to ask about them? How can she learn about the trans experience without offending? In a heavy call...


Savage Love Episode 610
A woman has started up with a great new guy. The problem? He kisses "like a robot." And not a sexy robot! How can she train him to kiss properly? A man's daughter is non-binary, and dating another non-binary. When they have sleep-overs should the father worry about his daughter when her partner is in male mode? On the Magnum, Dr. Justin Lehmiller is on to talk about his research studying what people really fantasize about. Don't you want his job? A married woman's husband loves it when she talks about her s...

Savage Love Episode 609
A woman's boss did something so nasty that she successfully prosecuted him and got him on the sex offender registry. But how can she get a new job with such an uncomfortable story to tell about her last one? Dan brings on Rob Walker, a.k.a. The Workologist from the New York Times to strategize. A skinny, insecure gay dude likes big muscle men. But he can't understand why they like him. On the Magnum, Dan interviews sociologist Eran Shor about his work analyzing pornography and whether it is getting more and...

Savage Love Episode 608
A woman had offered an Amazon delivery guy a drink of water in her house, and gave him her phone number. One year later he started sending her nasty messages and dick pics. Should she report him to his employer? Call the cops? A divorced man's 13 year-old daughter came out to him as a "homo-romantic asexual." Should he tell her conservative Christian mother? Also, is this just a phase? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Phd student Sam Hughes about his work exploring why some people are kinky. And, hear the tale...


Savage Love Episode 607
A kinky woman is sick and tired of men assuming she's a horny slut ready for anything at any time. How can she explain in her dating profiles that she's kinky AND discerning? A woman was hanging out fishing with her old high school buddy when the buddy asked, "So is it true you like to get peed on?" Don't you hate it when that happens? How should she spread the word among her old friend circle that in fact, this isn't to her taste? On the Magnum, look out! It's a lesbian take-over! The delightful ladies fro...

Savage Love Episode 606
Mom discovered a portable pussy sex toy in her teenaged son's backpack. Are you a mother? Do you plan to be one someday? What will you do when you discover a portable pussy in your teenaged son's backpack? A man and his girlfriend see each other every few months. And when they do, hoo boy! They have sex every few hours. By the end of their time together she feels sore. Right? She wants to try pegging him so he can understand what it's like to be penetrated so frequently. He wonders if this is even analogous...

Savage Love Episode 605
A woman was chilling with her male friend, you know, the way friends do, and sure, he wishes they were a couple, but she's not into him that way, so anyway, she invited him over after some drinking and masturbated in front of him, you know, the way friends do, except now things are weird? A lesbian was told by a transwoman who still has a penis that it's transphobic to not want to have sex with her. Discuss. On the Magnum,  it's time for a Second Opinion! Dan chats with the newest sex advice columnist to hi...


Savage Love Episode 604
A 60 year-old man has been dating a woman for 4 months. He wishes she would lose some weight. Oh, and also? She lost her breasts to cancer. Does he have the right to ask her to get a boob job too? Sidle up, dear listener, and hear the tale of the woman, her much older boyfriend, and...and her boyfriend's...son?  After hearing this, one of the tech-savvy at-risk youth had to take a walk around the block.  But fearlessly, we continue! On the Magnum, Dan interviews Inka, the creator of ForPlay Films: Erotica m...

Savage Love Episode 602
A woman's husband installed a hidden camera in their house. We aren't saying WHERE he installed it, but you should know that this call made us take off our headphones for a second. As a young man navigates through his dating life, he finds that the girls he's really attracted to ghost him, and the gals he's lukewarm about chase him with conviction. Why?! Dan chats with the lad and gives him a clue. On the Magnum Dan speaks with Dr. Lori Brotto about having a fulfilling relationship with an asexual. Check ou...

Savage Love Episode 601
A married man and his wife are planning some swinging fun times. But one of the people who responded to his anonymous post is his high school pal! Should he tell her who he is? That he knows who she is? Oh my god, this could be SO EMBARRASSING. A woman and her boyfriend used to have frequent, fantastic sex..when he was drunk. Now that he's sober, their love-life is bland and scant. How can they have hot, booze-free sex? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. John Scott, a sociology Professor from Brisbane, Austr...


Savage Love Episode 600
You guys? We've been making this podcast for 600 episodes. How do we celebrate? By talking about pee pee! A woman who is about to get married is having a total freak-out affair! She's been seeing her lover for only 3 months, but she thinks it's true love. Should she call off the wedding? A woman spontaneously comes whenever she sits in a sauna. Why Dan, why??!! Dan chats with the charming and super-freaky Sunny Megatron & Ken Melvoin-Berg-- sexuality educators, hosts of American Sex Podcast, and creators of...

Savage Lovecast #599
"Dear Dan. What is up with cock rings?" Dan is all too delighted to answer. A married woman is in an open relationship, and hooks up with a friend of theirs. This "lover" doesn't make her come. Rather, after her insufficient sessions with him, she returns home to her husband who gets the job done. Should she tell the lover that he is inadequate when it feeds such a hot dynamic with her husband? On the Magnum, welcome to Poly Town! The wonderful Cunning Minx, host of the Poly Weekly podcast, is on to answer ...

Savage Love Episode 598
The kindly mother of a 12 year-old boy wonders if she should discreetly leave some lube by his bed as he learns to love him himself fully. A woman is horrified to discover that her hook-up doesn't have sheets on the bed. "The bed is no good," she laments. Should she see him again? Is there a fix here? Dan and the mighty Mistress Matisse revisit the horrifying SESTA/FOSTA bill snaking its way into law. This bill will be devastating to sex workers and the internet in general. Please follow #LetUsSurvive onTwi...


Savage Love Episode 597
A woman went on a date, and everything went so well. Until...he disappeared without a trace. Did this man truly turn into a ghost? Dan calls her back and gets the full story. On the Magnum, for a "What You Got?" Dan chats with Kristin Mark on how to maintain sexual desire in long term relationships. And, a woman's husband suffered an injury that he is slowly recovering from. But it has wreaked havoc on their sex life. How can they get back to the good times? This "In sickness and in health" stuff is hard! C...

Savage Love Episode 596
A straight man is having a hard time getting laid. His female friends tell him he has to be more aggressive and less respectful with the ladies. Dan weighs in. The "baby" in a baby/daddy relationship is jealous because her daddy is getting it on with a couple and not inviting her. No, crying is not a solution. Sometimes you gotta reach out to a dick doc. (The more dignified word is "urologist." ) On the Magnum, Dan does just that, chatting with the good Doctor Stephen King, to answer a couple questions abou...

Savage Love Episode 595
A trans man is losing his hair and worries that he won't be able to rock the hyper-masculine bald guy look. Can you be sweet, sexy and bald all at the same time? Dogs! Sex! These two topics come together not once, but three times on this very show. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with writer and cultural critic Alana Massey on the misguided Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA.) A woman's best friend has a husband who calls her a "horrible wife" and "slut" under his breath. The caller isn't quite ready to dum...


Savage Love Episode 594
After 10 years of marriage, a man is dismayed to admit that he married a jizz-hater. His wife detests the stuff and doesn't want to be anywhere near it. What is the solution? The ever-delightful and intrepid Erika Moen of "Oh Joy Sex Toy" is on to discuss a sex toy that will send you packing. A woman's boyfriend wants to get a $2000 anatomically correct sex doll. The caller, and (as you will hear) Dan Savage are super-squicked. Finally, gather round dear listeners, and hear the story of the neighbor and the...

Savage Love Episode 593
A straight man knows he has the dreaded Madonna/Whore Complex. But how can he overcome it? A 47 year-old woman has just started working at a sex toy store, and loves her funky, kinky co-workers. But she's scared to invite them to her wedding for fear that mommy and daddy won't approve. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emily Best, the force behind "F*ck Yes" -a new channel that offers up super-hot shorts showing how consent can be very sexy indeed. We love what they are doing, and you should check it out. And, ...

Savage Love Episode 592
A woman gave her husband permission to see an escort when he was out of town. But she didn't give him permission to spend a small fortune on her!! An open-minded straight man has had quite enough with the sexual cavorting that takes place in his gym's hot tub, thank you very much! Is he being homophobic? Should he rat them out? On the Magnum, kids are getting in big trouble for sexting, sending pics and other activities that most teens routinely engage in. Dan speaks with Robby Soave from Reason.com about t...


Savage Love Episode 591
A gay man's boyfriend insists on showering just before sex, every single time. But the caller likes a little funk! How can they reconcile this fundamental difference. Dan's answer is sneaky. Don't be alarmed, but one of this week's questions requires the expertise of a mortician. On the Magnum, Dan enlists New York Times rival columnist Roxane Gay for a Second Opinion on folks who get dumped, and can't deal. Also, hear the tale of the man and his very, very rich employer-  a petty woman who doesn't hesitate...

Savage Love Episode 590
A woman is worried that a couple she's friends with will ask her and her husband to swing. How can she politely tell them that she and her husband don't roll that way? A man's new boyfriend is so wonderful! Their relationship is beautiful and amazing.  Unfortunately, he is also a homeless, lying meth-head. How can the caller confront his boyfriend with compassion? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Justin Lehmiller about a study looking at cuckolding among gay men. And, a woman's mother's boyfriend invites h...

Savage Love Episode 589
A female college student is busy planning her orgy. She wants to make sure the night is comfortable, fun and safe, with minimal awkwardness. Dan Savage, (the Martha Stewart of orgy planning,)  is here to help. A man's good (female) friend is planning to go on a date with one of his acquaintances. What the man knows, and the friend doesn't is that this date is a transman. Should he tip off his friend ahead of time? Or let it unspool in it's own sweet time? Yikes! The robots are making the porn now! Erotic fi...


Savage Love Episode 588
Gather round, and hear two nasty tales of violent, crazy girlfriends. Would you date someone who painted all over your sheets and poured liquor on your clothes? You would? Oh, never mind then. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Nicole Mazzeo, founder of Pleasure Pie and creator of  "The Art of the Solicited Dick Pic" a zine for the folks out there who love a naughty surprise on their phones.    And, a phone sex worker wonders how she can handle men who want to engage in emotionally scarring sex chatter. What a w...

Savage Love Episode 587
Whoa, no way! It's Sarah Silverman! This week Dan caught up with Sarah Silverman to chat about her show "I Love You America."  They also answered some callers' questions about conquering jealousy,  and kids sticking things up their butts, among other things. She is a superior human and you should listen to the whole thing. A sub woman has been chatting with a dom. But he lacks experience, and he's maybe too short? How can she end it without offending him? Also, a woman just can't reclaim the inherent sexine...

Savage Love Episode 586
This week is no big deal. Our guest is just Cecile Richards, the PRESIDENT OF PLANNED PARENTHOOD. She graciously joined us to discuss her mighty organization, the battle they do daily to provide sexual health, and to answer a question about a woman's yucky Trump-supportin' mama. If, by some weird fluke you have not yet donated to Planned Parenthood, you are commanded to do so immediately. Also, a woman and her husband don't quite know how to ask a couple they are friendly with if they would like to watch th...


Savage Love Episode 585
A man is into being tied up and pegged. But his wife finds it dull, tedious, boring and stultifying. Should he give up on the idea, or find a way to convince his wife that she could have some fun here. Oh no! More S&M trouble! A woman had a great date with a hot dom who dommed her so, so right. But now she feels nothing but shame. How can she clear out all the kink-phobia from her naughty brain? On the Magnum, our resident sex toy reviewer Erika Moen has found a toy to help you DO YOUR KEGELS. Do them now. ...

Savage Love Episode 584
A woman is facing old school, mild harassment at her law firm, of all places. How can she learn to shut these men down without looking like a Grumpy Gertie? A man is dating a new woman who seems great. But! She reminds him so much of his abusive ex, that he can't even. Should he explain his sudden absence to her? Break up cleanly? Try to make it work? On the Magnum, racial erotics ahoy! It would appear that white men want black men to fuck them. But what of the black man who just wants to get fucked? Dan en...

Savage Love Episode 583
A woman struggles to advise her friend who is intolerant of her husband watching a little porn. Hear the dark drama of a gay man who made plans to get tied up by a stranger. All hail Luke Burbank! The clever and kindly host of TBTL and Live Wire Radio demeans himself to discuss open relationships, anal sex as revenge, and the rise of the sex robots. How he manages to keep his dignity intact is a bit of a head-scratcher. Also, a woman is burdened with unwanted cuckold fantasies. Should she purge her brain of...


Savage Love Episode 582
A woman's 13 year-old brother wants to shave his crotch. And now mom is FREAKING OUT and the whole family is in disarray over the pubes she found in the sink! A straight couple gets recognized in a bar from an online profile they placed together a long time ago. The woman in the couple pretended it wasn't them. Was this a) wrong, b) chicken, c) sex shaming to man who noticed them, or d) all of the above. On the Magnum, Dan chats with feminist writer Vonny Leclerc on how hard men have it now that they aren't...

Savage Love Episode 581
The kinksters have their "aftercare"- time after a rough sexual encounter to reconnect and comfort each other. But what about after casual vanilla sex? A woman wants to instigate an aftercare revolution for all. Dan gently, patiently explains away some men's rights nonsense to a man incensed at at a fictional "double standard." On the Magnum, a woman who tends to choose abusive men wonders how she can prevent herself from making this mistake over and over again. Dan brings on Lynn Fairweather, domestic viol...

Savage Love Episode 580
A man is enjoying his new cool girlfriend. The thing is? She isn't an insane lunatic like his other girlfriends. Is this a problem? Oh man. This one's good. Should a woman accept her ex's offer to give his KIDNEY to her desperately ill father? Will there be strings attached? Oh my god? On the Magnum, Dan chats with stand-up comedian Cameron Esposito. And, a woman had some awesome group sex at an Air BnB. The owner gave her a very public negative review. Was she sex-shamed? Should she be more discreet next t...


Savage Love Episode 579
"Why won't my girlfriend go down on me?!" asks this nice man, who goes down on her plenty. Does she not like it? What? Nancy and Dan wring their hands together about words, and Nancy reveals something truly horrible about herself. On the Magnum, Dan and Google's powerhouse Distinguished Scientist Blaise Agüera y Arcas discuss artificial intelligence, facial recognition software, privacy and other deeply creepy topics. A woman and her husband of 6 years have discovered that they share the same rare kink. But...

Savage Love Episode 578
A married man is deliciously conflicted as his wife sleeps with women. It turns him on at first, but then jealousy and resentment settle in. How to reconcile? A woman newly broken up with her boyfriend has some recent boudoir photos kicking around. Should she send them to him? On the Magnum, listen in on our live show in Vancouver with Esther Perel, author of "Mating in Captivity." Dan and Esther take long hard look at the history of human relationships and our culture's obsession with monogamy. YOUR DAYS A...

Savage Love Episode 577
It appears we have reached a cultural moment when we need "The Ten Dick Commandments." Dan chisels a few in the tablet. Gather round the circle listeners, as Dan invokes the serenity prayer to council a woman who is being trolled by her neighbor's WiFi network name. A trans man who has not yet begun his transition, is angry and frustrated that he can't find any gay men who are interested in him. Buck Angel, (a.k.a the Man with a Pussy) swoops in to give much-needed, rational perspective. On the Magnum: Get ...


Savage Love Episode 576
Fire up a giant J-bone, brothers and sisters cuz it's the WEED EPISODE. With professional marijuana enthusiast David Schmader -author of "Weed: A User's Guide." David joined us in our studio to talk about how marijuana can enhance sex, what strains are the sexiest, what to do if you NEED marijuana to get off, and more. 206-302-2064 Thanks to Bombfell for supporting Savage Lovecast. Bombfell is an online personal styling service for men that helps find the right clothes for you. Get $25 off your first purcha...

Savage Love Episode 575
A woman from the UK wonders why Americans are so quick to commit to each other after just a little bit of sex. Dan's history lesson explains it all. A woman and her husband are into hot-spousing. It's been super-fun and brought them closer together as a couple. But her husband gets racked with guilt each time, and runs to tell his priest ALL ABOUT IT.  What's his damage? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Mayor Betsy Hodges of Minneapolis about being on the vanguard of urban resistance. Keep fightin' Betsy! And,...

Savage Love Episode 574
A married woman is totally accepting of her husband's newfound love of cross-dressing. But! She wishes he wouldn't borrow HER clothes. Dan interviews high powered lawyer Carrie Goldberg about her work prosecuting online harassers, revenge pornography and domestic violence abusers. She is a hero. On the Magnum, how can a woman stop masturbating to thoughts of her ex? Finally, a father worries that his children's idea to go as "gay rights" for Halloween might be...misguided? 206-302-2064 This episode of the S...


Savage Love Episode 573
A woman has been monogamous with her boyfriend for 5 years.  But she really wants to fuck the Swedish handyman. Should she fuck the Swedish handyman? A white woman and her boyfriend are into the whole Japanese schoolgirl thing. Is this racist? Is it wrong? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Carsie Blanton, creator of a dirty, nasty, filthy card game that sounds really fun. Check it out at www.thefingtruth.com. And, a divorced man finds he keeps dating women who say they are down for casual relationships, but whe...

Savage Love Episode 572
The Kissing Clause: should kissing come standard in a relationship? Dan interviews Angela Robinson, the director of "Professor Marsten and the Wonder Women"- a documentary about the poly, Dom/sub, super-freak creator of the Wonder Woman comics. On the Magnum, a woman's male co-worker is getting pimped out against his will by his boyfriend. Dan brings on sex worker rights activist Mistress Matisse to discuss how to support the lad. And, a man in a 7-year triad, fears he will soon be replaced. 206-302-2064 Th...

Savage Love Episode 571
Darling? Whatever shall we do at our coming trip to the Bondage Bed & Breakfast? A married woman gets busted by her husband for camming. She doesn't consider it cheating, and it gets her so, so horny. How can she reconcile with her husband and still get her camming rocks off? On the magnum, Dan brings back our regular guest, Erika Moen to go over a HEAVY sex toy you all should add to your arsenal. And, a man's sister is a former prison guard who started dating one of the inmates. He doesn't seem like the be...


Savage Love Episode 570
A woman is considering finding herself a sugar daddy to make ends meet. Should she tell her boyfriend? A man has a friendly relationship with his ex-girlfriend. He just doesn't want to see her and her new man splattered all over his social media. Would it be petty to mute her for a while? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Eli Finkel, author of "The All-or-Nothing Marriage." And, a woman's husband suddenly has a glamorous job with lots of fancy perks! She has been the bread-winner all this time, and feels resent...

Savage Love Episode 569
This show begins and ends with circumcision. A woman is dating her first uncut man and wonders if Dan has any... tips. Then, at the end of the Magnum, an uncut man who is into "pig play" (that's dick-stank- you're welcome,) wonders if he should get himself an adult circumcision. So there's that to ponder. A high school teacher and her pal wonder why the kids are so into hickeys. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Slate writer Mark Joseph Stern, about the infuriating phenomenon of left wing anti-semitism. 206-302...

Savage Love Episode 568
A woman offers proof that sexual harassment is about power. One of her students, a gay man, sexually harasses her regularly. Why would he do this? A fetish too far: A woman's boyfriend can only get off if they are doing play simulating kidnapping, bondage and human trafficking. She broke up with him because she just couldn't go there all the time. But now he feels shamed. Poor baby. Dan welcomes comedian Amy Miller to talk about the inadvisability of fucking comedians. Also, hear the tale of the woman with ...


Savage Love Episode 567
A couple are dismayed that the condom keeps slipping off when they're doing it doggie style. Dan offers some time-honored tricks. Disability Awareness Consultant Andrew Gurza, schools us all about dating folks with disabilities. On the Magnum, Dan chats with author Jesse Bering about penis size and natural selection. Science! And speaking of penises, can you pump that thing up and make it bigger in the same way you can stretch an earlobe? 206-302-2064 Today's episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by Fiv...

Savage Love Episode 566
We start the show with a cavalcade of yucky calls about Nazis! Can a dom command his sub to come? Does this really happen? On the Magnum, Dan answers a bunch of calls from parents of teens with Deb Hauser, President of Advocates for Youth. 206-302-2064 Today’s episode is also brought to you by Blue Apron- the delivery service that sends you fresh ingredients and incredible recipes so you can make fabulous meals at home. Check out this week’s menu and get your first 3 meals free by going to BlueApron.com/Sav...

Savage Love Episode 565
What do you do when your best friend is dating a con man? A woman has been with her boyfriend for a year. He has a key to her apartment, and regularly lets himself in when she isn't there, even though she told him not to. How big of a problem do we have here? On the Magnum, Dan talks to Alexander Cheves who published a controversial article in The Advocate about what place, if any, women have in gay bars. And, a woman's best friend also happens to be her step-mother. (Same age though.) How can the caller co...


Savage Love Episode 564
A seemingly kind man only gets off when his girlfriend is in pain. She noticed this and plays it up to please him. Don't tell him this, but she isn't in pain. She loves it. But what if her acting skills fail? A  woman has started dating a man who travels a lot and has a girlfriend in every city. Should she join his sprawling harem? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Samantha Joel, in a "What You Got?" about the psychology of what make someone finally decide to end a relationship. And, a woman gets cold easil...

Savage Love Episode 563
On the opening rant: Coming Out 101. What happens next? A mother's pre-teen daughter wants to wear a leather S&M-style choker. How can mom explain why this might not be a good idea? For both the Magnum and the Micro version we were honored to have Dr. Sarah Pentlicky from Planned Parenthood in the studio to answer some gnarly medical questions. Dental dams? Check. Warty dicks? Check. Surf Shorts? Check. Wait, what? As you would expect, she handled them all with supreme calm, poise and intelligence. That's P...

Savage Love Episode 562
If your boyfriend wants you to help him to film women so he can scratch his voyeur itch, is there an ethical way to do this? Hear the sordid tale of the the woman who wants to call Child Protective Services on her own damn boyfriend. On the Magnum, Dan chats with writer and BDSM educator Mollena Williams about "sub space" -what it is, and what it isn't. Also, a woman is getting annoyed that her boyfriend keeps presenting her with highly scripted sex scenarios that probably originated from porn. How can she ...


Savage Love Episode 561
A gay man hooked up with a hot guy- great lover. But his micro-penis made the caller wonder if his lover was perhaps a transman. Should he ask him? Does it matter?  A man's ten year-old son has come out as gay. The worried father bemoans his child's fate living on the "margins of society." Dan issues a reality check and a rebuke. It's 2017 dad, not the 1800s. "Margins of Society" indeed... On the Magnum, Jon Ronson, author of "The Psychopath Test" is on to talk about "bespoke pornography" and confirms the m...

Savage Love Episode 560
A man's girlfriend won't let him watch Game of Thrones due to all the violence against women. Does she have the right? Should we all be boycotting the show? Salon's Amanda Marcotte is here to weigh in. A lesbian is exploring dom/sub play with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend wants her to talk dirty and tell her to shut up. But our lesbian feels uncomfortable in their small apartment with thin walls. What's a GGG girl to do? On the Magnum, how much fisting is too much fisting? A University of Washington gyneco...

Savage Love Episode 559
If your Tinder guy can't get it up, should you move on, or give him a chance? A woman is dating a man 13 years her senior. Is this sort of age difference inherently immoral because...Woody Allen? On the Magnum, a deep dive into trans world with Buck Angel (a.k.a. The Man with a Pussy.) He is simply wonderful, and you must listen. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Astroglide O- USDA certified organic dual-purpose massage oil and personal lubricant. Try a free sample at Astroglide.com/purepleasur...


Savage Love Episode 558
A gay marine wants to keep his dick locked up in a chastity cage. His problem is...wait. Isn't that first sentence enough for you? A straight man has noticed that ALL of his friends are into feet. Why would this be? On the Magnum we welcome Mistress Matisse, to talk about her new magical lube. Also with Mistress Matisse, how can you explain the beautiful bruises your dom gives you? 206-302-2064 This episode is also brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30-day trial at Audible.com/savage. Today’s episode is ...

Savage Love Episode 557
A man is just about to end his Grindr relationship with a dude whose girlfriend knows nothing of his exploits. Should he drop the info on this poor girl before he leaves town? Dan interviews Seth Davidowitz, author of "Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are." Basically, when you look at Google searches, people are just as nasty as can be. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Viro, co-host of the furry relationship advice podcast "Feral Attraction" on furries, b...

Savage Love Episode 556
Wait. Are public orgasms ok now? A man and his girlfriend observed a woman having one, right there, out on the street, in broad daylight.   A gay man broke one of his rules. His boyfriend is still closeted to his family, and when they come to town, the caller has to clear out. Can this work? Does he have to break up?     On the Magnum, Dan chats with author and editor Michael Hobbes about the particular challenges middle-aged gay men face in dating.   Finally... "Hey there, old friend who I used to know in ...


Savage Love Episode 555
A woman is engaged to be married. She has been with about 80 lovers, and he has never been with anyone but her. He begs her to tell him all about her adventures to the point of obsession. Why does he wants to hear it all, and does she have to tell him? A man with a roommate feels like he's living with our horrible president: i.e. rich, entitled, lazy and mean. How can he convince this brute's girlfriend that she can do better? On the Magnum, a man wishes LA had the kind of kinky parties that NYC has. Whip s...

Savage Love Episode 554
A woman wants to try a three-way. But all the posts online are riddled with spelling and grammar errors. (Not sexy!) How can she forge a more classy connection? A woman has been with her fiancé for 5 years. He loves to play with her nipples, but she hates it. And guess what? She has never told him this. Before they wed, how can she confess that she's been grinning and bearing it the whole time? On the Magnum, how drunk does a straight boy have to be before he'll get it on with another guy? An intrepid scien...

Savage Love Episode 553
Oh, that nasty chef! A woman works in a restaurant where her manager is having an affair with the married chef. Sometimes the caller has to serve the chef's poor innocent wife. It's so cruel, that all the servers are about to revolt. A married man harbors a cuckolding fantasy. He is certain his wife would never-ever be into it. But would she? Also, we couldn't help but play a couple of Rachel Lark songs, cuz they're so good. And on the Magnum, have you heard of "Hypersomnia?" A woman can't keep herself awak...


Savage Love Episode 552
A straight male weight-lifter likes to shave his chest and pits. His friends are giving him grief about it. How can this sensitive strongman get over the peer pressure and revel in his smooth, lovely body? A gay man's foster son has had a rough life. And now he realizes they are both on Grindr. Awkward? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Nathaniel Frank, author of Awakening: How Gays and Lesbians Brought Marriage Equality to America.  And, a woman's sister used to be in an abusive relationship, which she kept hi...

Savage Love Episode 551
A man and a woman used to date, but now they're just friends. The woman got married and doesn't want her rich husband to know that she used to date the caller. Is it because she's embarrassed that the caller doesn't make enough money? From three-way to third wheel...a gay man with a long term boyfriend opened up their relationship to bring on another man. But now the boyfriend is getting closer and closer to the new guy. Do we have a problem here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with our go-to sex toy expert Erica...

Savage Love Episode 550
A couple of ex-Mormons started dating. He broke up with her because she wasn't "nice." But don't worry everybody- he immediately came back to her. Then he broke up with her because he's gay. But it's ok! He changed his mind on that as well and came back to her. Now he isn't sure if he wants to be with her because of her jealousy issues. Ah, true love. A 13 year-old girl came out as gay to her mother, who easily accepts this. But grandma! She's a big ole Christian homophobe. Should the caller out her daughte...


Savage Love Episode 549
A gay man living in Jerusalem wants to get with one of the orthodox guys who are always furtively eyeing him. But how can he make his move? A married man in an open relationship is SO BUSTED when he installs recording devices in his wife's room when she's having a man over. How can he channel his voyeur fetish on a consensual way? Dan sidles right up next to Rachel Bloom, star and creator of "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" to talk about Tinder jerks, anal novices and getting ogled on stage. Some is on the Micro, all ...

Savage Love Episode 548
A man has been with his lady for one year. She has lost her sex drive, and asks for him to find ways to limit his libido. Should they try counseling? Meditation? Chemical castration? Or maybe there's another option... A gay man and his straight friend used to fool around together when they were children. After a long silence, the straight friend has reemerged with a proposal to resume. It's a small town. There are aren't many gay people. The guy is totally hot. Should the gay man take him up on his offer? O...

Savage Love Episode 547
A woman's in-laws have 12 cats. They won't travel to see the caller's family (including the 2 small children,) because they can't bear to leave the mewling kitties. Are they mentally ill and is there any way to explain this behavior to the kids? A bondage-loving lass goes to clubs and gets tied up by a strictly platonic tying partner. Her boyfriend is ok with it, but feels a little spooked. How can she reassure him that what she and the tying partner do isn't sex? On the Magnum, it's our first do-over! Dan ...


Savage Love Episode 546
Gather round, Lovecast listeners. Hear the tale of the pansexual housecleaner and the nasty surprise. Can a giant penis instigate menstrual bleeding? Is there anything a giant penis can't do? Ob/gyn and activist Leah Torres, is here to answer. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Marc Andreyko, creator of Love is Love: the beautiful, heart-rending compilation of comics commemorating the Pulse shootings. If you haven't yet gotten a copy, please do. Dan and Marc chat about the horror of that event as well as the im...

Savage Love Episode 545
A man gets turned on by the sight of his girlfriend smoking. The problem is, she doesn't smoke. We get our monthly sex toy review by the delightful (and knowledgable) Erika Moen. This week: a big ole vibrator called The Doxy. On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Terri Conley in a "What You Got?" about the relative happiness of monogamous vs. non-monogamous couples. And, how to break up with a dumb, religious bigot. Quick answer: Immediately. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Seeso, the subscriptio...

Savage Love Episode 544
A straight man is into pre-op transwomen in an odd way. He wants nothing to do with their penises, but just likes knowing they're there. In another penis-obsessed call, a man with big 'un is dismayed when a lady fails to swoon at the sight of his flaccid dong. Doesn't she know about showers vs. growers?! On the Magnum, Dan welcomes RIVAL advice columnist Minda Honey from Leo Weekly in Kentucky. They discuss the etiquette of what one does when a fellow dominatrix basically STEALS your financial sub right out...


Savage Love Episode 543
A woman's father is planning to go to Russia to fetch his new mail-order bride. How can the caller convince her delusional father that this is not such a good idea? Hear the sordid tale of the Ambien-befuddled, drunky, but also kind of hot step-mother who came on to her step-son in a most aggressive and lascivious way. Now that some years have passed should the caller seek redress? On the Magnum, remember the "Cannibal Cop?" He was the NYPD cop who chatted with his buddies about plans to kidnap, kill and ea...

Savage Love Episode 542
For all you Belle fans out there, a little advice: For god's sake, don't sleep with the beast! Dan and Salon journalist Amanda Marcotte tear down Disney's latest. Dan consoles a man whose employee immediately slept with his ex-girlfriend, right after they broke up. People! On the Magnum, Dan chats (at length) with Michael Hobbes about his Huffington Post article: "The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness." And speaking of gays, a gay man is intrigued but also nervous by the prospect of selling his sweaty socks to a m...

Savage Love Episode 541
Are you, (or is someone you love) stuck in a region which refuses to teach realistic sex ed? Never fear, Lindsey Doe from the YouTube channel "Sexplanations" is here to infiltrate and educate. She's our new fave, and you will love her. She and Dan talk about explaining porn to kids, nudist households, and actionable advice to counter meds that dampen libido. Listen to this interview and then go watch all of her videos. Like, right now. What happens when a sugar daddy relationship ends? Can you go on being f...


Savage Love Episode 540
A woman's 61 year-old father confided that he has discovered kink. Should she help to connect him to kink resources when she herself is vanilla, and also...his daughter? A man worries that his attraction to East-Indian women might be racist. Dan helps unpack the complicated issues around attraction to specific races. On the Magnum, Dan talks with Randi Kreger, author and expert on Borderline Personality Disorder about dating someone with this unpleasant condition. And, all hail the Cuck-Queen!  Dan chats wi...

Savage Love Episode 539
Savage Lovecast #539 A gay man has had small breasts ever since he was a kid. His lovers aren't so into it. He doesn't want to get them removed because he feels they are a part of him. How should he explain his extra bells and whistles? A woman getting into bondage wonders how to communicate a safe word when she has a gag in her mouth. Mmrrrmmff! On the Magnum, Dan chats with a professional dominatrix about the hazards of doing sex work and raising children in a conservative country. And in an unsurprising ...

Savage Love Episode 538
A couple tricky pregnancy situations on this show: A newly pregnant woman has discovered that her boyfriend snoops through her personal stuff with no apology.  Should she dump him and embrace single motherhood? Our other pregnant woman misjudged the timing, and now has the unenviable duty of telling her current boyfriend that he is probably not the father. Bummer right?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with researcher Adam Safron for a "What You Got?" about the neuroscience of female orgasm. Finally, welcome to th...


Savage Love Episode 537
A man's girlfriend moved to NYC to become a ballerina. But instead she's been boozing and eating food! Is it his place to tell her that ballerinas don't actually, you  know, eat? A transwoman has moved heaven and earth to get herself through college, despite her parents cutting her off. But then! Her school sent their choir to sing at You Know Who's inauguration. She's considering dropping out in protest. Don't worry, Dan talks her out of it. On the Magnum, welcome to PolyLand! Dan chats with Cunning Minx, ...

Savage Love Episode 536
A married Canadian lesbian is about to meet the Syrian refugees that her parents are hosting. But she worries that they will not approve of gay people. How should she present herself and her wife to these traumatized people from a different culture?   A woman gets strep throat every time she gives head. What the hell?   On the Magnum, a gay man's mother keeps expecting him to go back in the closet when he visits with relatives. How can he train his mother to act like a decent human being?   A poly woman had...

Savage Love Episode 535
"Boyfriend, boyfriend, there's a lump in your testicle!" Should the caller deliver this news bluntly or keep her discovery to herself? A mother's 9-year old son wants to be a stripper when he grows up. How can this mom advise him and keep her cool? Erika Moen from "Oh Joy Sex Toy!" is on for our monthly Sex Toy Review to talk about a whizzy little toy that will make you happy, and won't bankrupt you in the process. Her boyfriend's uncle just served Hamburger Helper. It's the first time she's met the man. Sh...


Savage Love Episode 534
We are totally Trumping it up this week, guys. First Dan explains why it could be possible that DT is into piss despite his claim of being a germo-phobe. He gets an assist from The Gist's Mike Pesca. Then! Angel Padilla from the brilliant Indivisible Guide explains how to use Tea Party tactics against the new administration. He also bravely attempts to offer a cure for nasty-tasting, insulin-reeking come. On the Magnum, we don't stop. Newsweek writer Kurt Eichenwald is on to answer a Trump-lovin' listener's...

Savage Love Episode 533
A man's friend came out when they were in high school. Now after a sojourn to the desert to "pray away the gay" the tortured closet case is "church hunting for a bride." Can his pal talk him out of this? A woman's co-worker tried to kiss her at work, despite her unrelentingly professional demeanor, and complete lack of interest. Now they have to go on a work trip together. How can she bat him away? Should she skip the trip? On the Magnum, Dan chats with a kink expert about choking. Anybody have some better ...

Savage Love Episode 532
A 45 year-old man has observed his 21 year-old niece putting up suggestive pics on Instagram. Would it be the correct avuncular gesture to talk to his niece about the folly of her actions? Meanwhile, a woman's boyfriend's cousin called her a "fuckin' bitch" when she wrecked him at laser tag. Her boyfriend won't defend her honor. Who will? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan counsels a woman sick with jealousy over her boyfriend's unilateral decision to have an open relationship. 206-302-2064 Today’s Love...


Savage Love Episode 531
In these dark times, there is a man to bring us joy. His name is Randy Rainbow. Dan and Randy talk about his brilliant YouTube videos, dealing with the election and farting. A woman in a long distance relationship doesn't like the way her man goes down on her. So, she just sits there and waits for it to be over. Maybe there's a better strategy to explore? On the Magnum, Dan talks to author and Editor of Bustle.com, Gabrielle Moss about  a practice you need to acquaint yourself with: grapefruiting. And, lear...

Savage Love Episode 530
It's the happiest time of the year here at the Savage Lovecast, as we gather in Portland and also Seattle (somehow) for our annual-ish Christmas Special Extravaganza! Come for the snarky sex-advice, stay for the magnificent Shirley Gnome. This episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by Winc- the wine club that helps you to choose wine that suits your taste and ships it right to your door. For $20 off your first order, and complimentary shipping, go to TryWinc.com/savage.   Today’s episode is also brought ...

Savage Love Episode 529
A woman is living at her boyfriend's house with his parents while he is away. Guess what! The dad has started kissing her on the mouth and tries to slip her the tongue. Should she tell her boyfriend that his father is a loathsome fiend? Speaking of loathsome fiends, a woman's boyfriend is so obsessed with her keeping slim that he snatches food out of her mouth and tosses it on the floor. Any ideas what she should do? In a "What You Got?" a researcher discusses his study about men who are attracted to transw...


Savage Love Episode 528
A poly woman is very happy with her much older dom. But ever since her mother saw some photos of her daughter all trussed up and naked, the boyfriend is totally not invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas. Is it the age difference? How can our caller convince her mother that her lover is a good guy?   A hand-wringing, feminist, good-hearted man wants to try rape-play with his wife. How can he delicately, tenderly suggest he pretend to rape her. You know, if she wants him to.   Welcome to our first installment ...

Savage Love Episode 527
A gay man wonders if it's possible to have a happy, healthy, poly triad. Can sex give you acne? Dan consults a professor of dermatology to get to the bottom of this one. On the Magnum, a special treat for you uber-kinksters. The gentlemen from the No Safe Word podcast are on to discuss (among other things,) 24/7 master/slave relationships, scat play, and gay orgies in Texas. You're welcome. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping whe...

Savage Love Episode 526
Here's a happily married couple. He digs exhibitionism, which she indulged after taking a deep breath. She wants to try BDSM, but he isn't having it. Is it her right to demand it, and what's his god damn problem? A married woman likes to be fashionable and step out looking GOOD. But guess what! Her husband, wishes she would wear jeans and a grubby tee so all the men will stop looking at her.  Dan wants to help her pick out a smart outfit for divorce court. On the Magnum, make way for the robots! Google's (h...


Savage Love Episode 525
Welcome to the Savage Lovecast where we are ready to fight like hell to take our country back. Are you? Apparently, Trump-voting family members are a thing. Should you spend your holidays with these people? Dan's answer will not shock you. A divorced man has started dating a new woman. When he was married he got caught seeing a sex-worker and it became a public scandal. When should he tell his new love about his past? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Lori Brotto in a  "What You Got?" about asexuality. A st...

Savage Love Episode 524
A woman has been dumped by her boyfriend of 6 years. She is considering some sort of grand gesture to win him back. Should she throw a parade? Hire a lesbian motorcycle gang to deliver one single rose? Or maybe let him go? A 22 year-old gay man has been dating a 58 year-old man for 2 years. His family isn't crazy about this. The caller is beginning to doubt this romance. Like a sharp beam of sunlight slicing through his cloud of confusion, Dan Savage gives him permission to break up. On the Magnum, Dan chat...

Savage Love Episode 523
On the worst birthday EVER, a woman learns that her beloved long distance boyfriend...has a wife. If the wife asks her, should she lie for him? A man's friend is dating a guy who gets coked up, turns the photos of her face-down and hires prostitutes to sleep with him in their shared bed. How can the caller convince his friend to DTMFA? Hey California! How's it going? Please vote NO on Prop 60, won't you? Dan and porn activist/performer Conner Habib explain it for you. On the Magnum, a woman who is about to ...


Savage Love Episode 522
A man has been with his boyfriend for 1.5 years. The caller's family is loving and welcoming to the boyfriend. But the boyfriend's family won't accept his homosexuality and won't allow the caller to join them at Thanksgiving etc. How long must our caller wait for his boyfriend to grow a pair, and tell his family to piss off already?   Next up, we'll just share the title of this call: "Take Your Chances at the All-Girl Orgy?" NOW you're gonna listen aren't you?   On the Magnum, Dan chats with the hosts of On...

Savage Love Episode 521
How is a sex worker supposed to deal with it when her clients keep quoting Donald Trump?! A woman is dating an insecure man who grabs her boobs at inappropriate times and then pouts when she tells him to stop. Can she retrain him to not act like such an imbecile? On the Magnum, Dan talks to Law Professor Alexander A. Boni-Saenz about the tricky concept of sexual advance directives. A man's mother has Alzheimers. His step-father is taking care of her, and confessed to carrying on an affair with his mother's ...

Savage Love Episode 520
A woman asks her boyfriend to tell her erotic stories when they are having sex. Is this too much to ask? He's running out of plots. A distraught woman discovers that her ex from years ago put up naked photos of her online. Is there anything she can do? On the Magnum, a long discussion about some pros and cons of pornography with sex therapist and author Dr. Marty Klein. And, hear the sad tale of an overweight beagle that nobody wants. 206-302-2064 Today’s episode is also brought to you by Blue Apron the del...


Savage Love Episode 519
Dan welcomes Trae Crowder, or "the Liberal Redneck" (our favorite redneck) to tackle some questions about conservative Christian bigots, guns and spit. It's a great conversation- do have a listen. Also, a lesbian is dismayed that her girlfriend insists she take a shower every time they have sex. Is she a germophobe or... what? And, a man's girlfriend has announced that she wants to take up smoking. Nicotine. Not even weed. Why? Because her father smoked... AND, a man working on a political campaign wants to...

Savage Love Episode 518
A woman is horrified to discover her new boyfriend's disgusting habit. This habit truly is one of the most revolting things we've ever heard, and you do know that we've heard a LOT, right? You'll have to listen to find out what it is. A woman and her husband want to take the plunge and have a three-way with a woman. But there are some logistics to work out. How do they find a girl, and do they have to get a babysitter for the night? Dan chats with Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild, and co-host of the (rival) D...

Savage Love Episode 517
A lesbian is about to go to a wedding with a bunch of conservative guests. And guess who's going to be there! You'll never guess. Ricky Santorum! How should she take advantage of this unusual opportunity? Dan chats with pro-dominatrix, writer and activist Mistress Matisse about SWOP Behind Bars- a project to support incarcerated sex workers. And of course she helps answers some questions about KINKY SEX. Get your naughty ass over to SWOPBehindBars.org this instant. A woman is dating a man who makes her com...


Savage Love Episode 516
A man is seeing a woman 12 years his senior. His friends think he's nuts, but he's having a great time. Is there something wrong here? A married man has come to realize that he is poly. His wife is still as monogamous as the day she married him. How can he get her to accept his polyamorous nature and let him sleep with lots and lots of lovely ladies? Dan chats with his smarty-pants brother Bill (an associate professor of English) on the historical roots of American anti-immigrant stupidity. On the Magnum, D...

Savage Love Episode 515
A bi man in a poly triad wonders how to bring home his couple to meet the conservative parents. A woman enjoys following men around for the feeling of  "predatory power" the pursuit gives her. Is this a problem? On the Magnum, Dan  speaks with Professor Barbara Sarnecka, in a "What You Got?"  showing how uptight our society is about leaving children alone. The study is HERE. And, while on a trip to NYC, and gay man finds someone he knows from back home on Grindr. When he contacted the friend to say "Hi ther...

Savage Love Episode 514
Hey Chicago! We were in you! And we recorded the whole thing. Have a listen to our live show from last Spring at the Music Box Theatre. On the Magnum, Dan dares to argue with Heather Havrilesky (a.k.a "Ask Polly" from New York Magazine,) about the role of honesty in relationships. Also, a gay man saw someone he knows in some online porn. Should he tell the guy? 206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 20% off your first order ...


Savage Love Episode 513
A closeted bi woman, newly aware of her own bisexuality, feels guilty when she so much as hugs another woman. How can she get over it already? A lesbian is about to have her wedding. Does she have the right to exclude Trump supporters from the guest list? On the Magnum, Dan chats with NYT columnist Rob Walker, of the Workologist, about how to deal with some sexist, bigoted schmucks at the workplace. A bi woman started seeing a super-sexy bi gal. But! She only gets to sleep with her when the boyfriend is in ...

Savage Love Episode 512
Special guest ranter Ana Marie Cox tells us what it's actually like at a Trump rally. (Spoiler: terrifying.) A gay man is living in a group house with a straight couple. When the man in the couple drinks, he gets a bit...handsy, much to his girlfriend's delight. Should the caller get together with his roommate? Will the girlfriend give her permission? What exactly is the etiquette when you discover that your long distance boyfriend of 4 years actually has a wife and kid? Should you ghost him? Or confront hi...

Savage Love Episode 511
A young man living at home is getting blamed for his father's second divorce. That sounds like kind of a raw deal doesn't it? A man is in a GREAT relationship with his girlfriend. It's SO AWESOME. Except when she gets drunk and verbally abuses him. So there's that.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with identical twin, queer, pop-star heart-throbs, Tegan and Sara about online dating, and what to do with that bottle of conditioner your ex left behind in the shower. A man and his wife are going through hard times. Th...


Savage Love Episode 510
A man has started dating a woman he suspects is a virgin. She's hot, but he doesn't want to have to teach her about sex. Should he bail, or give her a few lessons? A woman fell into bed with a man so drunk, that he didn't remember going down on her. Now he's asking her friends what happened that night. Should she tell? On the Magnum, Dan chats with MTV's Ira Madison III about the complex issues that come with being a black man with submission fantasies. And, the sleepover that fried a mother's brain. 206-30...

Savage Love Episode 509
A woman is in a new relationship with a wonderful man! But! His ex keeps coming around leaving love notes, Victoria's Secret receipts and otherwise marking her territory. How can the caller flush out the intrusive ex? What is the etiquette in asking out a guy at the gym to join you and your husband for a threeway? Should your husband be present for The Ask? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the creators of Tickled- a documentary about a seemingly harmless fetish, that turns strangely sinister. Also, should you ...

Savage Love Episode 508
Last week, we asked our African-American listeners to call and speak their minds. Please listen to them at the end of the show. It's  the American thing to do. A woman is married to a man she knows is a creep. He pervs at all the wrong times to all the wrong people. So is it a good or bad idea to open their relationship? On the Magnum, Wonkette's Rebecca Schoenkopf takes some calls about the continuing rift between Bernie supporters and Hillary supporters. Also, should a woman get a harmless-but-ugly mole r...


Savage Love Episode 507
A woman with Catholic in-laws tires to figure out whether she should cave in to them and get her little baby baptized. Dan’s advice…may shock you. Then, Dan chats with ex-muslim sex blogger and children's book author, Elynah about sex negativity in conservative Muslim communities. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with trans activist Parker Molloy about the problematic connection the clueless make between transwomen and drag queens. And, another marriage falls apart as a man discovers his wife textin’ and sextin’ s...

Savage Love Episode 506
The ins and outs of HUMP! Dan chats with Hump! Producer Tracey Cataldo about the Hump! Film Festival- what kinds of films you can expect to watch and how to make the kind of porn we want to see. What to do when your open relationship comes to a screeching halt? A married woman has been getting it on with her married female friend, but neither husband can handle it. Should they continue in secret? On the Magnum, It’s Emily Galati, live at our show in Madison, Wisconsin. This is some seriously funny shit, peo...

Savage Love Episode 505
A woman has endured 10 years of sexual harassment from a creep she works with. How can she get him to stop without getting him fired? (Hint: It’s a trick question.) Dan and another gay guy get into a BIG FIGHT about guns!!! In a far more civil discussion, on the Magnum, Dan chats with Moira Weigel, author of “Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating” about how your grandparents viewed dating and going steady. And finally, hear the sordid tale of man who finds himself cat-fished by his own girlfriend. Oh, the ...


Savage Love Episode 504
A tortured gay man can’t envision a world where it’s better to be out than to stay in the closet. Dan tries his darnedest to convince him. Hey fellow homos: call us and pitch in, won’t you? A woman catches her boyfriend signing up for a hook-up app. What does this mean? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the Queen of Ireland, a.k.a Panti Bliss- the drag queen who took on Irish homophobes and won big. A true hero who looks fabulous in heels. And, hear the wisdom of a Trump supporter! 206-302-2064 This podcast is ...

Savage Love Episode 503
Please listen to Dan’s heart-rending response to the Orlando massacre. In lighter fare... A 19 year-old bi lass worries that she’ll never get to try ladies if she stays with her monogamous-minded man…forever. Is there any hope for her? A man is about to meet a woman he’s been having phone sex with for the first time. Where he just wants to “bone down,” she’s been talking about moving to his town to start a relationship. How can he proceed with caution in this delicate situation? On the Magnum, Dan chats wit...

Savage Love Episode 502
A man is dating a woman who stopped putting on make-up and fixing her hair. If he asked her to start gussying herself up again, would that make him, like…you know…an asshole? A woman asks a question that sends Dan scurrying to the red phone to call a veterinarian for some expert advice. Why does Dan need a vet? You’ll have to listen to find out. (Cat humping.) On the Magnum, Dan and sex blogger Ella Dawson are here to SMASH THE HERPES STIGMA once and for all. Glad that’s out of the way. Also, a woman wonder...


Savage Love Episode 501
Ever since her brother walked in on her masturbating as a child, our poor caller thinks about him when she’s fantasizing. How can she get her brother out of her sex-head? In other yucky family dramas, a woman’s father has advanced dementia, and tugs it openly, all the time. It’s gotten to the point where she doesn’t want to see a single penis- not even her dear boyfriend’s. How can she get her father out of her sex-head? Man. What is going on out there? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emily Bazelon and Mistre...

Savage Love Episode 500
This is our 500th episode. And we’re just getting started! This week, Dan chats with stoner, writer and delightful person David Schmader about his book “Weed: The User’s Guide.”  Speaking of green, Dan has a thing or two to say about the Green Party. A 24 year-old Texan woman worries that if she breaks up with her boooorrring boyfriend she’ll be called an “old maid.” And, guess who sashays in to harsh our mellow with “science?’ It’s Doc Barak! 206-302-2064 Thanks for listening for so long, you guys. Stick w...

Savage Love Episode 499
What is the etiquette for when you run into someone who stood you up on a date? A woman’s friend is in a crappy marriage with 4 kids and a lying, cheating husband with a high profile in their church community. How can the caller convince her friend to DTMFA? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Jillian Keenan, author of “Sex with Shakespeare” about vetting a dom, and her new book. Also, a caller wonders how to help his 96 year-old grandmother experience sexuality in her life. It’s Joan Price to the rescue! She and...


Savage Love Episode 498
A caller wonders if super-rich people are naturally less monogamous than the rest of us. In other inane questions, exactly which, and how many of One Direction are gay? On the Magnum, Dan takes a few lesbian-oriented calls with author Anna Pulley. And, in a “What You Got?” Dan interviews Lea Seguin on the men who fake orgasms and why they would do such a thing. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30-day trial at AudiblePodcast.com/Savage Today’s episode is also brought to you ...

Savage Love Episode 497
A woman’s sister has been in a secret relationshipfor 7 years. Can or should she talk her sister out of what shethinks is an unhealthy relationship? A woman discovers that she gets off from spitting inher boyfriend’s mouth. Is this common? Is this wrong? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alice Dreger, author ofThe Talk: Helping Your Kids Navigate Sex inthe Real World about whether it’s cool to let your 12 year olddaughter get that teeny-tiny, little bikini. And a shy straight guy can’t figure out how to ask agi...

Savage Love Episode 496
It's the sex toy extravaganza! After receiving a preternaturally high number of questions about sex toys, we decided to bring in a crack team of experts from women-centered, sex-positive stores across the US and Canada. What actually fits in a cock ring?  How do you keep a dildo clean? What's the best restraint to start out with? Do sex toys carry emotional baggage? All these questions and more are answered for you. And additionally, on the Magnum, a man out on parole wonders when and how to tell the story ...


Savage Love Episode 495
Furries and Cheeseheads: Join us in Madison, Wisconsin as Dan loves up his old college town. He took about a million questions from the audience and messed with their Midwestern heads. On the Magnum, Dan chats with the charming hosts of Feral Attraction- the furry community’s sex and relationship advice podcast. Meow. 206-302-2064 This episode is also brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Get 10 free gifts, plus free shipping when you enter offer code "Savage". This podcast is also brought to you by Stamps.com....

Savage Love Episode 494
A woman loves sexting with strangers she meets online. But she has no desire to meet in person. How and when should she let her fellas know this about her? What happens when homophobic parents never come around? Dan speaks with writer Aaron Hartzler, author of “Rapture Practice,” about coming out to intractable family.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Peggy Orenstein, author of “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” and “Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape” about the distorted expectations women fac...

Savage Love Episode 493
Let’s just say your girlfriend gets turned on by listening to you talk to other people on the phone. Would it be so, so wrong to keep the customer service agent from Verizon on the line, just so your girlfriend can listen to you from the other room, masturbating furiously? A woman in an open marriage has started to see a woman. Her husband is fine with it. The caller is fine with it. The girlfriend is fine with it. So what’s the problem? Her friends! Her friends are NOT FINE WITH IT. Dan chats with Dr. Davi...


Savage Love Episode 492
The rarest of lovely creatures, a male unicorn, is ANGRY because he sees a double standard among the straight couples he joins. They reject him when they learn that he’s been with other men before them. Whaaaaaat? PSA: Couples! Treat your unicorns right, will you please? In a classic conundrum, a woman is attracted to her husband’s best friend. And Snapchat isn’t helping…   On the Magnum, fall down the poly rabbit hole with Allena Gabosch, Founding Director of Seattle’s Center for Sex Positive Culture. She ...

Savage Love Episode 491
A straight man has begun a relationship with a transwoman. To put his question bluntly, is he obligated to suck her dick? How on earth is a nice gay man supposed to deal with his father when dad has sworn to vote for Donald Trump? A woman is horrified to see boudoir paintings of her boyfriend’s ex staring at her from the walls. Does she have the right to ask him to take them down? On the Magnum, a woman gets turned on when she experiences anxiety. She even had a couple orgasms in the airport when she missed...

Savage Love Episode 490
Aw sheeeeeeee, guys. It’s Abbi and Ilana from BROAD CITY.  Dan and the gals talk about period sex, pegging, smoking weed, beards and bumpkins among other things. You’ll also hear some inside dirt about their process in making Broad City and their plans for the future. These two are twin forces of nature and you should listen to the whole raucous conversation.  Also, if a guy sends you a dick pic with some possible evidence of an STI, should you speak up? Or giggle demurely? 206-302-2064 This episode is brou...


Savage Love Episode 489
It’s the Valentine’s Day show! We recorded this at Portland’s Revolution Hall on February 14 in front of a very live audience. With musician/force of nature Rachel Lark, comedian/force of nature Bri Pruitt  and three game straight boys. 206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 20% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is also brought to you by BollandBranch.com: luxury, af...

Savage Love Episode 488
A man raised fundamentalist Christian has discovered the pleasures of “titty-bars” where he can behold “beautiful boobies.” Now that he’s getting divorced, how soon should he tell the lucky ladies that he plans to date about his marital status? A woman’s boyfriend tells her to be quiet when they are having sex. “Shhhhhh,” he says. How can she get him to cut that shit right out, and also get a little freaky in bed? Dan welcomes Seattle journalist Eli Sanders to discuss his new book, While the City Slept. Eli...

Savage Love Episode 487
A mature 18 year-old has somehow failed to tell her real age to her new boyfriend who thinks she’s at least 20. How can she come clean? A man is totally into being cuckolded. Does his girlfriend have to tell her other lovers that they are part of a bigger picture? We are honored to welcome Dr. Sara Pentlicky from Planned Parenthood to help answer a plethora of medical and reproductive questions. Herpes! HPV! Birth control for transmen! We’ve got you covered. 206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you b...


Savage Love Episode 486
A woman is thinking of surprising her boyfriend with another woman to have a three-way with. Can Dan talk her out of it? An evenly bisexual man had to come out at his macho job as gay when was engaged to a man. Now that he’s dating a woman, does he have to come out again as straight? On the Magnum, Dan and writer Ephi Stempler do a deep dive on companionate marriage. And a woman watches horrified as her friend gets ready to marry her lying, cheating fiancé. Should she and her friends stage an intervention? ...

Savage Love Episode 485
A gay man wants nothing more than to watch strong men flex their muscles for him. His straight friend is willing…but would it be too weird? A woman recently got broken up with by her boyfriend. She used to pay all the bills and float him cash. How can she ask for the money he owes her? Dan chats with the absolutely fabulous Midori about learning to embrace your kinky side and play the dom, even if your spirit animal is a sub. And, a gay man has been chosen by his friend to police the behavior of a bunch of ...

Savage Love Episode 484
If you are a straight girl, is it ok to seek friendship with a lesbian? Even if she has a girlfriend? (Actual question. Actually asked.) A young man is dating a former anorexic, former model and the sex is great. But! She is still living at home and has burned through all of her allowance, and now has $3 to last her all month. The young man is beginning to doubt the wisdom of dating this hot mess. And…football! Mike Pesca from The Gist joins Dan to sportsplain the complicated psychology behind being a “Beng...


Savage Love Episode 483
A woman’s roommate up and left without notice, leaving  behind some expenses in the care of her sick, aged cat. Dan gets in full Judge Judy drag to help arbitrate this rather mundane dispute. Meanwhile, a lesbian wants her butt-plug back! She lent it to her girlfriend and then they broke up. Although things are friendly, should the caller make that awkward ask? Don’t you just love horses? Enough said. On the Magnum, Dan chats with porn star Bailey Jay about the pleasures and perils of sharing dirty photos a...

Savage Love Episode 482
A young woman is about to embark on a three-way with her boyfriend and another man. How can she make sure the experience isn’t demeaning? A gay man has incest fantasies. How can he find a man willing to role play a father-figure? A married woman and her husband prefer to use condoms. So why is everyone around her so smug and condescending about it? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Dr. Robert Garofalo about a father whose kid calls himself transmale, but often presents as female. They discuss the challenges pa...

Savage Love Episode 481
What to do when your drunken cousin starts blabbing about all the affairs she’s having and all the cocaine she’s snorting and all the traffic accidents she’s having? A professor is in anguish because she is about to sleep with a much younger, very good looking FORMER student. A couple of her (male) colleagues think this is a bad idea. Most of them (all women) say “ Go for it.” What do you, dear listener, think she should do? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Lori Brotto, about a woman’s numb clitoris. She f...


Savage Love Episode 480
In two separate calls, straight men are harassed by their gay male friends. One caller had his buddy drunkenly grope him. The other’s pal assails him with aggressive sexual innuendo. Knock it off fellas! A married woman has a husband who doesn’t trust her. She comes home late from her bar job and he assumes she’s cheating on him. She’s never been unfaithful. How can she turn this ship around? On the Magnum, Dan gets a Second Opinion from Mallory Ortberg, Slate’s delightful, new “Dear Prudie” advice columnis...

Savage Love Episode 479
A woman has started “living her passion” by working as a webcam girl. But she’s nervous about telling her mother about her new career. How can she break the news? A woman fulfilled a lifelong fantasy of having a super-hot threeway with two bi men. But now, she wants to escalate the situation and get with some gay men. How can she troll for homos while still respecting their boundaries? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Justin Lehmiller for a “What You Got?” about  lower STI rates among the non-monogamous. W...

Savage Love Episode 478
A woman’s husband makes unpleasant sexual innuendos and gropes her right in front of the kids. How can she get him to stop? Are you into puke porn? OMG so am I!  Anyway, a very kind hearted, GGG woman wants to help her husband to realize his fantasy of having her throw up on him. But that might not be a healthy kink in the end, right? Dan chats with Cass King of the Wetspots (creators of our fabulous “What You Got?” stinger) about their upcoming burlesque musical. Also, are men becoming more modest in the l...


Savage Love Episode 477
A stoned gentleman is wracked with guilt for making the dog he’s caring for stop masturbating already! (Maybe he should be hitting the indica rather than the sativa, say the TSARY.) “Virginity is obsolete as a concept,” declares this 20 year-old woman, who is seeing an 18 year-old lad with precious little experience. How can she take care of her little darling and gently guide him to the land of sexual pleasure, honoring the campsite rule? A strident feminist has found a man who can really get her off. The ...

Savage Love Episode 476
It’s the One-Minute Wonder Show! You asked your questions in one minute or less, and Dan tried to keep his answers brief, with diminishing success. Here’s a smattering of topics: The dangers of road head, olive oil as lube, haggling with your sex worker, tingly come, excluding dog-fuckers from your orgy and so much more. Also, Nancy gets riled up! On the Magnum, the long-suffering Dr. Barak gently explains that no, men cannot get bacterial vaginosis, and answers a requisite question about pee. 206-302-2064 ...

Savage Love Episode 475
A man’s boyfriend went as a “slut” for Halloween. It turns out, this was a really bad idea. A woman loves getting tied up. But she also needs to touch herself to get off. So…how is this gonna work? On the Magnum, Dan chats with trans writer Parker Molloy about the challenges of transitioning for both partners in a relationship. And, hear the story of a woman who enters “The Land of Pleasure.” By which she means having sex with over 30 men in one long evening. Dan chats with her about how to enjoy her gang-b...


Savage Love Episode 474
As you gather around the Thanksgiving table to bask in the warmth and glow of your loved ones, here are some reasons you will feel thankful:  Your sister’s boyfriend isn’t beating her up, your wife isn’t a transphobic Russian, your boyfriend’s father doesn’t beat him up, your mother isn’t a toxic evil mess and your step-father (who is also your boss,) doesn’t kick your dog. If any of these things are true for you, well then this show will offer company for your misery. It’s the Families Show! Also, the pret...

Savage Love Episode 473
“Bark! Bark! Bark!” That’s what a kinky woman’s dog will say when it hears her getting spanked. She worries that this might be a problem, and so, should she maybe not get a dog? A divorced woman is sleeping with the repair man. Her ex-husband is sleeping with their children’s former nanny. Were you just complaining about your life being too complicated? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Jonathan Eig, author The Birth of the Pill. Finally, a man’s girlfriend catches him masturbating to a picture of her friend. A...

Savage Love Episode 472
Hear the sordid tale of what the gay man saw when he woke up to find his boyfriend absent from the guest bed while they were visiting a …friend. Meanwhile in another corner of the cheat-o-verse, a man sees his best friend’s girlfriend on a daitng app. He thought they were monogamous. Should he rat her out to his pal? On the Magnum, Dan brings on a couple of guests. Debra Soh is a writer whose latest article in Salon ruffled some feathers. She wrote about our dysfunctional approach to treating pedophiles and...


Savage Love Episode 471
It’s episode 420! Oh wait. No it isn’t. We totally spaced episode 420. But better late than never! Dan, Nancy and the Tech-Savvy, At-Risk Youth journey to Denver, Colorado where we recorded a live show, baked out of our skulls. Because pot is legal in Colorado, you see. Does pot enhance sex?  Does lube infused with THC actually work? Will Dan and his weed-addled panel end the show sounding even vaguely coherent? You’ll have to listen to find out. 206-302-2064 This episode is  brought to you by AdamandEve.co...

Savage Love Episode 470
In the opening rant, Dan finally opens up and tells us what he *really* thinks of the Catholic Church. Hear the strange and seedy tale of a male lap dance gone horribly wrong. On the Magnum, Dan chats with RIVAL sex advice podcaster Dr. Debby Herbenick about PReP for women and condom aversion for ladies. And, your amazing, supportive calls to the 20 year-old lesbian from last week who feels trapped with her unkind family. You guys are the best. Donate! To the following organizations: Ali Forney Center: www....

Savage Love Episode 469
How can a man convince his lady to give him the kind of sloppy head that makes her gag? It’s not like he’s anti-feminist or anything! A woman’s mother-in-law does NOT APPROVE of her poly lifestyle. But mom doesn’t know that her precious son is also as poly as the day is long. Should they cut off contact from his mother? Or is it time for him to come out already? Tear jerker! Dan tries to talk a suffering, abused gay kid into leaving her parents’ toxic home. On the Magnum, get kinky with Mollena Williams, a....


Savage Love Episode 468
At the top of the show, Dan speaks with a clever lass with a foolproof plan to ensure the defeat of Canada’s dreadful Stephen Harper. A man is very close to an old childhood friend. Although they have always had a platonic relationship, his girlfriend of 6 months is beginning to freak out. If he attended a wedding as his pal's plus-one, would that be crossing a line? A woman's new boyfriend told her he's into cuckolding. But how soon is too soon to indulge this complicated fetish? A self-professed sex addic...

Savage Love Episode 467
Dan has some helpful suggestions for the NRA! A woman saw a man exposing himself outside a family-friendly restaurant. She called the cops. Was this wrong? In order to prove that his girlfriend doesn’t put out as much as he would like, a man documents their sex life on an app. The girlfriend finds this creepy. Dear listener, do you? Rachel Percelay from Media Matters has been studying Fox News’ coverage of trans issues. She and Dan discuss what she found. And finally, Christopher Frizzelle from The Stranger...

Savage Love Episode 466
A woman who identified as lesbian of 15 years (with a wife even,) has taken a younger, male lover. So, how is this gonna work? A man’s girlfriend insists that if and when they have kids, he will have to go through “labor simulation.”  He thinks this is batty. But what does Dan Savage think? On the Magnum, Dan chats with trans luminary Kate Bornstein about words vs slurs, the Caitlin Jenner effect and Kate’s deep, dark past with Scientology. 206-302-2064 Today’s episode is brought to you by Blue Apron, the d...


Savage Love Episode 465
It’s the dick show! Do you have one? (Or are you one?) Gather around for a “What You Got?” with Dr. Cynthia Graham about condoms and male sensitivity, the poor things. Then! On the Magnum, Mike Pearl, a writer for Vice Magazine discusses the science behind the need to rename Death Grip Syndrome. Also, how do you deal with it when a flasher lives in your neighborhood? And tons more. 206-302-2064 Today’s episode is brought to you by Blue Apron, the delivery service that sends you fresh ingredients and incredi...

Savage Love Episode 464
Have you ever loved someone so much, even though you’ve known them for only 6 weeks, that when they break up with you, you call a sex advice podcaster sobbing and sobbing?  Meanwhile, a married man with his wife for 11 years, is working on forgiving her for cheating on him, and on opening their relationship so she can be her full self. Also, he thinks it’s kind of hot.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with trans porn star/occultist Bailey Jay about the effects of hormone therapy on libido.  Also, what to do when y...

Savage Love Episode 463
It’s the “Let’s Decriminalize Sex Work” episode! Dan chats with Vox writer German Lopez on the evidence which shows the benefits of legalizing sex work. (Like duh…)  And on on the Magnum, Dan chats with adult film actor Dirk Caber about the real effects of the federal raid on Rentboy.com.  Also, you’ve heard what Dan thinks about the Republican field, but what does he think about the Dems?  And, how would you deal with a roommate who shows up in your room wearing nothing but a lecherous smile?  206-302-2064...


Savage Love Episode 462
A man has entered into a committed poly triad… and mom’s not having it. How can the caller get his mother to accept his other girlfriend?  Dan’s take on the shenanigans of hilarious comedian, Bill Cosby.  A woman’s boyfriend REALLY wants to do anal. He wants this so badly that he’s willing to try it without warning, lube or consent. And it causes her tremendous pain. Can any of you guess what Dan’s advice is?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with New York Times religion writer Mark Oppenheimer about his new podcas...