Savage Lovecast

Savage Lovecast Podcast

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription.

Savage Love Episode 756
When your baby has a peanut allergy and your in-laws don't take it seriously, well, the sparks are gonna fly. The eternal question: can you make your penis bigger? Dan's answer may not shock you. ON the Magnum version, Dr. Shanna Swan author of "Countdown" is on to talk about declining sperm counts, environmental toxins and the fate of the human race. Pop yourself Xanax before listening. And, hear two separate tales of women looking to hire unicorns for one special evening. 206-302-2064 [email protected]

Savage Love Episode 755
In our opening Sexcess Story, a German man offers this kind-hearted maxim: "It's hard to stay mad when you are covered in come." A man wonders if his covid vaccine is what caused his libido to spike. His female friend said the same thing! She claims she had 10 ORGASMS right after getting her shot. So, hey Science! Is this causation or correlation? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Justin Randall of the "We Were Christian Kids" podcast, about relationships after you've grappled with a hyper-religious upbringing....

Savage Love Episode 754
In our opening Sexcess story, a very delightful woman in her 60s has discovered that one wee edible before sex can yield untold orgasms. A gay man has discovered that he enjoys voyeurism and exhibitionism. But how can these be acted out ethically? On the Magnum, Dan talks with Kelsy Burke, a sociologist who studies the intersection of sex and religion. They talk about the recent Atlanta murders of sex workers, and how the Evangelical Christian conception of "sex addiction" may have warped the killer's mind....


Savage Love Episode 753
Let the swooning begin. Dan brings on one of his heroes, comedian Nick Kroll to answer some questions and to talk about his show Big Mouth. They chat about meeting sleazy, pre-teen masturbation, dating while famous and many other things.  We love Nick Kroll, and so do you. Some of the interview is on the Micro version and all of it is on the Magnum. Have you ever been eaten out while on acid? The caller in our opening sexcess story heartily recommends it. A male erotic massage therapist has only had one cli...

Savage Love Episode 752
Gather round. Hear the cautionary tale of the gaslighting vibrator thief. It's tough out there for a male gynecologist. A man in his Ob Gyn residency asks for tips on giving exams that put his patients at ease. Dan brings on Dr. Ian Fields, Assistant Program Director for the OBGYN residency at OHSU to discuss being a man in the mix. On the Magnum, our beloved, longstanding guest cartoonist/sex toy expert Erika Moen is on with her partner Matt Nolan to talk about their new book for teens: Let's Talk about It...

Savage Love Episode 751
"Dear Miss Manners, Am I obliged to respond to the gentlemen I encounter on 'Grindr,' even if I am not in the least bit interested?" Dan counsels yet another woman who lays herself down as a human doormat. DTMFA! If your man hasn't yet told his friends that he's dating you, it's time to move on. On the Magnum, we have a very special What You Got?: Listen, we can't put this delicately. There are birds out there that prefer to have sex with cowpies over the females of their species. Dan interviews Dr. Gail Pa...


Savage Love Episode 750
A gay man has started seeing a new guy. But the lad said he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. This is highly unusual amongst homosexuals, don't you think? Is it possible to have a loving, romantic relationship, and also engage in financial domination? Sounds spicy! Clear a path! Clear a path! Here comes RANDY RAINBOW, the brilliant YouTuber whose musical theater political parodies single-handedly got us all through the past 4 years. It should come as no surprise that he and Dan have big, big love f...

Savage Love Episode 749
Have you ever been blocked? This man was! When he and his boyfriend of 6 months had their first big fight, they broke up, and the boyfriend slammed the door shut. Now the caller wants closure. Dan Savage is here to hold his hand through it. A man is attempting to grow some foreskin through...techniques. He thinks circumcision should be outlawed. But when he discusses this with some of his Jewish or Muslim pals, it doesn't go over well. On the Magnum version, Dan chats with Dr. Stacy De-Lin about dating and ...

Savage Love Episode 748
Is it wrong to suggest to your unsuccessful internet date that she start seeing your roommate instead? A woman's friend-with-benefits pal is becoming obsessed with sex! He fills her drawers with sex toys for her to use on him. But he pays scant attention to her pleasure. What's the next step here? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Charles M. Blow- the acclaimed journalist and op-ed columnist for the New York Times. They discuss his new book The Devil You Know: A Black Power Manifesto. Blow is an amazing writer ...


Savage Love Episode 747
A woman has discovered she has a taste for bisexual dudes. But so many are closeted, or don't lead with their bi-ness on apps. How can she root them out? Dan wades into drama, intrigue and subterfuge! A gay man's acquaintance has dark designs on a straight man in their life. Should the caller warn his unwitting straight friend? Or stay out of it? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray to discuss the misperceptions about male sexuality and desire. C'mon! Fellas need to feel like sex objects too....

Savage Love Episode 746
In the intro: You wanted to hear what Dan Savage thinks of the Armie Hammer scandal? Now he will tell you. A sugar baby had been seeing a married man for 2 years, when they fell in love. Now that there's nothing transactional going on, is it less ethical? Finally! Dan Savage deconstructs drag. Are we allowed to enjoy it? (Spoiler: Yes, yes we are.) On the Magnum, all hail Jon Ronson! The author of The Psychopath Test, The Butterfly Effect and many other works in various media, is on to help Dan sling advice...

Savage Love Episode 745
Sure, sure. He's a good boyfriend...during a pandemic. But when the covid glasses come off, will he still be right for her? After 20 years of marriage, a woman finally understands that she is asexual. She wants nothing of sex, whatsoever. She would love for him to get laid outside of their relationship, but he's an introvert, and not inclined to open their marriage. And if he found a woman to have sex with, would he leave her? On the Magnum, degenerate homosexual Dan Savage teaches potty-mouthed comedian Lo...


Savage Love Episode 744
Welcome to the sisterhood! A trans woman got aggressively propositioned by one of the men in her macho friend group. Another one slut-shamed her after she posted a bikini pic on Insta. Wait. Men are pigs??? You may recall, a couple weeks ago we heard from a woman with recurrent UTIs. We got flooded with responses from women who have also suffered, with a wide variety of recommendations. Some sounded a little...iffy. So we brought on Dr. Jen Gunter, author of The Vagina Bible to address this. Listen in to he...

Savage Love Episode 743
He took part in the Moderna vaccine trial, which puts him at the front of the line to get his shot. But he's a young, healthy man who works from home. Should he wait, lest he deny someone who needs it more than him? A woman starting a new relationship used to have an eating disorder that damaged her heart to such an extent that she gets easily winded. What should she say if her new man wants to go mountain climbing? On the Magnum, Dan chats with our favorite lawyer, Diana Adams, about asking your pal to don...

Savage Love Episode 742
When your wife is buddies with the MAGA crowd: Dan counsels a man whose wife hangs out with covid-denying, conspiracy theory-believing, Trump-loving simpletons. He is pretty conservative himself, but these people! It's too much! A middle-aged man is newly grappling with his bisexuality. The wife isn't into it. How can he find other guys like him in his tidy suburb- you know, guys who just want to get together, play some poker and blow each other off? On the Magnum, "There's a big difference between a bull a...


Savage Love Episode 741
Ah, the pleasures of getting rimmed! But what if you are alone, during quarantine times? Is there a sex toy out there to help a lass get off? Starting in kindergarten, a woman began masturbating using a very specific and very odd technique. Now she needs to do this, and she's super-embarrassed about it. How can she get over her shame, and possibly move on to more conventional orgasm inducers? On the Magnum version of the show, is Instagram going the way of Tumblr- removing all sexual content? Writer and sex...

Savage Love Episode 740
In our opening "sexcess story", how to turn your tiny quarantine apartment into a home sex-club discotheque. A woman has thoughtfully chosen to not have children. So why do friends and strangers hassle her about this? On the Magnum, Dan goes toe to toe with his (formerly) Republican enemy Tim Miller. Before Miller saw the light he was the communications director for Jeb Bush's 2016 campaign, and also worked for John McCain and Mitt Romney. Then along came Trump and he became a "never-Trumper" and now, has r...

Savage Love Episode 739
Our opening "sexcess" story features a woman willing to indulge her boyfriend's drool fetish. A woman has come to understand that her husband has a belly fetish. And she has a lot less belly than she used to... Oh, and guess who's here! It's the brilliant Sarah Silverman! She and Dan chat about staying friends with exes, the difference between doing stand-up comedy and recording a podcast, her political activism and so much more. Then, Sarah and Dan take calls together on the Magnum. So if you haven't yet s...


Savage Love Episode 738
A woman needs a giant wiener to feel satisfied. That's just how it is. But how can she vet prospective partners ahead of time? How can she tell her current man that his average-sized dick just isn't big enough? Ah the hypocrisy...a man is turned on by videos aimed at voyeurs, where people don't know they're being filmed. Then! He was filmed at a bathhouse, and now that the pics are out...he's furious. He knows he's being hypocritical, but what can he do? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Rachel Gelman about...

Savage Love Episode 737
A woman was listening to an anonymous confessional podcast, and heard her friend talk about being abused as a child. The caller is certain it was her friend, and never knew about the abuse. Should she bring it up? A gay man has a friend group that makes insensitive, cavalier rape jokes. His boyfriend thinks he needs to grow a thicker skin. Is he being oversensitive? On the Magnum, NERD ALERT. Dan brings on Dr. Katie Mack, an astrophysicist who brings her unique perspective (the end of the universe by heat d...

Savage Love Episode 736
A woman is worried because her boyfriend claims he doesn't have any kinks. Is he covering something up? HOW CAN HE NOT HAVE ANY KINKS? A straight man enjoys photoshopping the heads of his female friends over naked bodies. He then deletes his masterpieces. Is this wrong? Should he feel bad? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Amy Chan of the Breakup Bootcamp, about how to recognize recurring patterns we go through when we break up over and over again. And, a caller wonders if the American flag must go the way of t...


Savage Love Episode 735
A man in his 60s is just like a teenager! But in the wrong way- he comes too soon. How can he resolve his little PE problem? After a man's girlfriend came out him (drunkenly) as bi, he realized he is bi too! But now he's jealous of his girlfriend's female exes that she maintains friendships with. He is lost at bisexual sea. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Elle Chase, author of Curvy Girl Sex, about body size issues, and dating as a large woman. And, a woman wonders if she should have pepper-sprayed that guy w...

Savage Love Episode 734
Have you ever had to quickly mute yourself on a Zoom meeting because your girlfriend was getting spanked in the other room? Just asking. Dan brings back Lina Dune from Ask a Sub to discuss the ethics of public displays of *kinky* affection. You know, like, leading your slave around by his leash in the grocery store. On the Magnum, it's the anxious return of the esteemed epidemiologist Dr. Daniel Westreich, aka "Dr. Bummer." He's on to talk about the spiking spike of cold cases across the United States. But ...

Savage Love Episode 733
Our opening "sexcess" story features a black light. You people are creative! Dan counsels a gay man whose boyfriend is so closeted and scared of his military father, (this boyfriend lives in his parent's basement,) that he has to sneak in and out under cover of night. Kind of fun when you're in high school, but in your 30s? Not so much. On the Magnum: Have you ever heard a rabbi say: "The religion is messing you up"? Meet the fearless rabbi Jeremy Gerber. He and Dan discuss blow job technique as well as the...


Savage Love Episode 732
Our opening covid-era Sexcess story features seniors in a retirement community huffing on ice bongs and getting it on. If they can do it, you can too. A Wiccan druid witchy woman is dating a Christian dude. They let each other be. But when he requests that they do some role playing where she dresses up as a "sexy witch" and puts a spell on him, she wonders if she should be offended or just hop on his broomstick already. Dan interviews Adam Sass, author of Surrender Your Sons- a YA thriller about a gay kid w...

Savage Love Episode 731
A man and his much younger girlfriend decided to seek a unicorn through swinging apps. Her only rule was to set the age limit to women over 30. So, naturally, he went for women in their 20s. What's the problem?! A queer woman is into being choked. She knows it's unsafe. Is there any way to do breath play safely? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the Political Gabfest luminary Emily Bazelon about the conservative shift in the Supreme Court. Sexy! And, a woman's boyfriend was able to get her off using only his fo...

Savage Love Episode 730
A woman is considering becoming a 24/7 slave for a man in a don't-ask-don't-tell relationship with his wife. But maybe he's just cheating on the wife? How can you be sure? Over a decade ago, a woman was in an abusive relationship. He went too far and they broke up. He has been apologizing ever since. Now that she has forgiven him, she wants to connect with him again. Should she? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with disabilities activist Andrew Gurza about some very inappropriate PDA in a park b...


Savage Love Episode 729
A woman's friend is acting like a damn fool. Again. She plans to travel across the country to meet a man she met online, without even having spoken to him on the phone. Is she getting catfished? Who knows? Should the caller try to talk her gullible, sensitive friend out of this recklessness? An erotic dancer feels guilty when her customers fall in love with her. Is she leading them on? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back writer and digital rights activist Cory Doctorow. They discuss the appeal of conspiracy th...

Savage Love Episode 728
A woman would like a gigolo please. Or two. She knows she could score a man for free, but likes the idea of paying for it. Is this possible? How? Whoopsy daisy! A woman was texting her friend about the crippling crush she has on a co-worker, when she realized she was texting the co-worker herself. The gal reacted gracefully, but now what? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr Raphael Landovitz, about the promise of a new injectable version of PrEP. And, a 17 year old girl had penetrative sex for the first time. ...

Savage Love Episode 727
Some rando started following a woman on Insta. He confessed that he jerks off to her yoga photos. She told him she would have to charge him a fee for this. He agreed. The question is... how much? A woman Googled her dad. What did she find? She found videos of women in bathing suits. If you Googled her dad, you would see this. Should she tell her dad? Good lord, how? On the Magnum, let's talk about anal prolapse, shall we? Because it's so sexy! Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for W...


Savage Love Episode 726
A woman is still friendly with her ex-husband. So friendly that she sends him nudes which he pays for. But she just learned that he's re-married! Is it unethical to continue this naughty exchange? A woman begs Dan to tell her to break up with her emotionally shut-down boyfriend. Dan obliges. Dan chats with 24/7 sub goddess Lina Dune about the healing power of safe, sane, consensual kink. A little of the conversation is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum. And a woman notices that her boyfriend never...

Savage Love Episode 725
A woman was babysitting her neighbor's 3 year-old daughter. The girl took her clothes off and started touching herself. Should the caller say something to the parents? Is this behavior a red flag for abuse? Or is this just how the 3 year-olds roll? A man with a very girthy penis can't come without extended penis-in-vagina action. But sometimes his ladies can't handle it. He started faking his orgasms. Any other solutions here? On the Magnum version of the show, Caitlin Doughty (host of Ask a Mortician on Yo...

Savage Love Episode 724
A woman has had a LOT of sex, mostly with men. But she is realizing that she is truly only attracted to women. The problem is, when she talks to a hot woman, she starts stuttering and stammering in terror. How can she grow to be comfortable in her true skin? A man's girlfriend fantasizes that she's a gay man when they have sex. Does this mean she's trans? She insists she's all woman, but the caller is worried, worried, worried. On the Magnum, a deep dive onto vaginas (yup!) with Dr. Jen Gunter, author of Th...


Savage Love Episode 723
A woman's husband had low testosterone, so he started taking T. But then, he turned into a total asshole! Is this normal? Is this just what testosterone does? A trans woman has not yet had bottom surgery. While she waits, how can she find a woman who would want her as she is now, and how she will be later? On the Magnum, Dan chats with sex researcher Alexandra Marcotte about her study looking at how men and women differ in their enjoyment of dick pics. A woman has a girlfriend but they don't live together. ...

Savage Love Episode 722
A woman started dating a transman. But then his personality completely changed. I this just a trans thing? Or a coincidence? A verse dyke working as a nanny in an uptight conservative community can't find any other lesbians. She's so horny she would settle for a man. But how can she find someone willing to be her "walking dildo?" On the Magnum, a deep dive into cuckolding, with the utterly charming Venus from the Venus Cuckoldress Podcast. What drives a man to be turned on watching his partner get together ...

Savage Love Episode 721
Have you ever gone snorkeling...naked? On a long anticipated second date? She has. Hear ALL about it... A woman's sister is *still* planning her 100 person wedding for this October. Will covid-19 be over by then? Certainly not. So should the caller go or tell her stupid sister to postpone her stupid wedding already? On the Magnum, Dan chats with clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. David Ley, about the difference between sex addiction and kinks. And, can extroverts successfully date introverts? Voice...


Savage Love Episode 720
A man's new boyfriend is really great in every way! Except...he believes in mythical creatures, thinks he has super-powers and that the government is communicating with him through the radio. So, should the caller leave his mentally ill new boyfriend or try to get him some help? Meanwhile, a woman's sister has started dating a "professional" astrologer who had gotten kicked out of the marines, believes in conspiracy theories and wants to move to Mexico with the caller's sister after dating for just a few mo...

Savage Love Episode 719
Our opening covid-19 "sexcess" story is extra special this week. You will never think of Tollhouse cookies the same way again. Don't you hate it when your brother-in-law steals your underpants, and uses them to jack off? This little sordid story only gets worse. On the Magnum, meet the dominatrix who commands her clients to read Black feminist theory. Mistress Velvet and Dan discuss performative wokeness, allies vs. accomplices, and the transformative power of S&M among many other things. Mistress Velvet kn...

Savage Love Episode 719
Our opening covid-19 "sexcess" story is extra special this week. You will never think of Tollhouse cookies the same way again. Don't you hate it when your brother-in-law steals your underpants, and uses them to jack off? This little sordid story only gets worse. On the Magnum, meet the dominatrix who commands her clients to read Black feminist theory. Mistress Velvet and Dan discuss performative wokeness, allies vs. accomplices, and the transformative power of S&M among many other things. Mistress Velvet kn...


Savage Love Episode 718
An Irish man has found dating success with his "personal operating manual." After the second date or so, he slides over a piece of paper delineating his likes and dislikes, in bed and out. It cuts through a lot of clutter, says he. For those of you separated from your loved ones because of travel restrictions, there could be some hope maybe? Dan chats with Chelsea from "Love is Not Tourism" a group working to allow stipulations for folks who want to reunite with their beloveds in other countries. A kindly a...

Savage Love Episode 718
An Irish man has found dating success with his "personal operating manual." After the second date or so, he slides over a piece of paper delineating his likes and dislikes, in bed and out. It cuts through a lot of clutter, says he. For those of you separated from your loved ones because of travel restrictions, there could be some hope maybe? Dan chats with Chelsea from "Love is Not Tourism" a group working to allow stipulations for folks who want to reunite with their beloveds in other countries. A kindly a...

Savage Love Episode 717
A man has been with his boyfriend for a year. The boyfriend's supposedly straight roommate gives intimate hugs and drops obvious homo hints when he's drunk. The caller doesn't like him or trust him. Does he have to put up with this? This lady likes a giant, huge, enormous, really big penis. She proposes a hack for when she's with a more modestly endowed gentleman. Could she insert a yoni egg inside her vagina, to simulate that Big Dick feeling? Would this work? Dan? On the Magnum, we welcome the Kinsey Inst...


Savage Love Episode 716
A young gay man is having a great time with his boyfriend who is 14 years older than him. Can it last? How? On the Magnum, be charmed by comedian Jay Jurden. We were. Jay and Dan talk about gays, three-ways and Catholic guilt, among other things. A woman has a fantasy of being "taken" by an older man with power over her. But wouldn't any man who acts this out with her be a total creep? Finally, are there dog toys sold in pet stores that are secretly meant to be sex toys? For humans? [email protected]

Savage Love Episode 715
Hear the tale of the NB lesbian who snooped and found out that  the sex worker they want to hire makes more money than they do, and finds this unacceptable. (Confidential to the caller: you'll eventually get over the pummeling Dan gives you.) We were so honored to welcome Dr. Erin Berry -regional Medical Director of Planned Parenthood. Dan and Dr. Berry blasted through a bunch of your questions (HPV vaccine for men, molluscum, IUDs, bidets for women, more!) and of course they discussed abortion and the rece...

Savage Love Episode 714
A gay married man faces a choice. He can keep his stable job, if he moves to...Kansas. Dan brings on Kansas State Representative Brandon Woodard to try to sell his state to the caller. At the top of this list of the midwestern state's redemptive qualities: Kansas is only 3 hours away from everywhere else! So, they've got that going for them. A woman is horrified that her husband wants to "suckle" her breasts as if she were lactating. "Just one time?" he begs. On the Magnum, Dan gushingly chats with public h...


Savage Love Episode 713
Thongs! They are so sexy! But when used as a face mask at the hardware store, what then? A woman has been dating a guy for a few months. He has one of those giant penises you have heard about. So there's that. But he is also saying some troubling, racist and sexist things. So. Should she continue to see the big dick with a big dick? On the Magnum, Dan chats with women's health expert Dr. Tami Rowen about the near ubiquitous practice of pubic hair grooming. Why are so many women bush-whacking? Are there any ...

Savage Love Episode 712
Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph, our opening sex during quarantine story is scorching hot this week, hoo boy. A woman is working from home with her boyfriend. He sets up his computer monitors with one screen always playing Twtich streams with young blonde hotties. Is the caller allowed to be annoyed by this? On the Magnum, sex toy expert and generally charming person Erika Moen is on to make a bunch of recommendations for gear to get you through these extremely challenging times. Also, what is up with sex dolls? A...

Savage Love Episode 711
At a business meeting, an older, sophisticated gay man gave a presentation with a couple buttons of his jeans undone. Was he sending a message? If so, what? A woman has noticed that men are now wearing wedding rings on BOTH hands. Are they sending a message? If so, what? On the Magnum, it's a deep anal-sex hygiene dive with gay culture columnist Ty Mitchel. A caller wonders why the younger men he sleeps with have trouble keeping...fresh. Dan and Ty are here to help. And, a woman's roommate is going out and ...


Savage Love Episode 710
A remote controlled buttplug? In the bath? This pandemic is getting pretty fun! A woman asks a question that so many of us are also wondering: is it safe to be romantically intimate with someone who has already recovered from covid-19? When? Dan brings on the intrepid Dr. Barak to answer, and as usual hits him with a gnarly second question just to make the good doctor squirm. Are you a parent? Have you had some challenges raising your kids? Is your kid a foot fetishist? If you answered either yes or no to a...

Savage Love Episode 709
A married couple in an open relationship used to enjoy glory holes at play parties. Then along came some covid-19. But did that stop them? Hell no! They grabbed the kids' old sheets and made a home glory hole. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, America! A man's mother died when he was 13, and his father quickly re-married. He found a letter revealing that his father and step-mother had been having an affair before his mother died. Now what? His dad is sick and old. Should he confront him about it? On the Ma...

Savage Love Episode 708
A married man is sick of his military husband being overseas all the time. How can they make their  chronically long-distance relationship work?   Ok, here's something you've all wondered: how do you get rid of sex dolls? Are they too toxic for the landfill? Is there a market for "gently used?"   On the Magnum, how are the poly people supposed to do their poly thing, right now? Dan chats with Diana Adams, a lawyer and mediator who specializes in LGBTQ and polyamorous families.   Is there a polite, non-confr...


Savage Love Episode 707
We open the show with a marital tale of delicious rug burn. It's the battle of the podcast Goliaths! Dan welcomes Marc Maron to the show, and the two engage in a civil debate about whether porn can be "addictive." Also, they discuss a very special piece of equipment. Some of this convo is on the Micro version and all of it is on the Magnum. He likes to wear womens' clothing when he spanks it. She thinks this makes him queer. He insists he's not. She says he should find a lady who likes that sort of thing. H...

Savage Love Episode 706
Have you ever done it hanging from a cliff in your mountain-climbing harness? This caller has. They named the climb "Quarantine." Meanwhile in Italy, a woman managed to slip a finger in her boyfriend's butt. He didn't stop her, but didn't say anything about it, and they haven't discussed it since. How can she bring it up with him and resume this activity when they are reunited? On the Magnum, Dan chats with JoEllen Notte, author of "The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren't...

Savage Love Episode 705
Hear the tale of the garden wanker, or "What Really Happens in the Asparagus Patch." Dr. Bummer is back! Our epidemiologist pal Dr. Daniel Westreich has returned to talk about the state of the pandemic, how the physical distancing is working, and to mull over the possibility that this could be an opportunity to eliminate ALL STIs. We can dream. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Katelyn Bowden, founder of the BadAss Army- a group that fights for victims of revenge porn. And, we end with a heartwarming coming-out...


Savage Love Episode 704
This pandemic is getting sexier and sexier! Who's up for some Strip Ping-Pong? A gay man hooked up with a dude he had met a few months ago through an app. The dude asked our caller if he found him attractive. But the dude's photo was wildly inaccurate. He had gained weight since the photo was taken. When the caller tried to tactfully explain this, dude went ballistic, accusing him of being fat-phobic. Judge Savage issues his ruling. On the Magnum...let's get a lawyer! The pandemic will be mighty good for th...

Savage Love Episode 703
We open with a quarantine sex story, in which a woman's boyfriend pulls on one of her dresses, and things get even better from there. A woman in a poly relationship knows she has to end things soon with her primary partner. So, naturally, she started sleeping with her roommate. Is it time to pull the plug? During these terrible times? How? At long last, it's the guest we've all been waiting for. Feminist comedic genius Erin Gibson, co-host of the Throwing Shade podcast and author of Feminasty: The Complicat...

Savage Love Episode 702
We open the show with a quarantine sex story featuring some very mysterious noises... Have no fear, Doc Barak is here! Dan brings on our long-suffering medical expert to reassure us about how covid-19 can and cannot be transmitted. The good doctor's giggle is, dare we say...infectious. On the Magnum, Dan interviews comedian and podcast host Pete Dominick to help him answer some questions from the hard-to-find straight male perspective. And, after a one night stand, a woman and her lover are still communicat...


Savage Love Episode 701
Just when you thought you understood the world, Dan chats with open relationships guru Tristan Taormino, to tell you to CLOSE IT UP. Monogamy is where it's at these days. Just for a while. A woman in a long distance relationship is trying to embrace video sex. But she worries that she doesn't look sexy when she's truly pleasuring herself. How can she learn to do the "performance" of video sex, and still get off? On the Magnum, Dan calls up Searah Deysach from the feminist sex-toy store Early to Bed, to talk...

Savage Love Episode 700
This week, Dan's guest is epidemiologist Daniel Westreich, who spells out the concept of physical distancing, and why sexual intimacy is going to be pretty difficult to attain for many of us. Some of the conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum. A man asks if virtual reality porn makes sense to help "spice up your sex life." Why yes, it makes  A LOT of sense right now. A woman who is engaged to be married to her boyfriend has a female friend. This friend made a drunken, predatory pass at...

Savage Love Episode 699
Here at Savage Lovecast world headquarters, in the heart of the epicenter of the Big Sick, we are keeping calm and carrying on, baby! Dan chats with Dr. Jen Gunter, who had to practice social distancing for ONE YEAR, so quit griping. She offers some strategies for how to deal with your new isolation. And, Dr.Debby Herbenick explains that although the corona virus is not sexually transmitted, you still can't just be mashing with anyone safely these days. Uh doy! Hear the tale of Maya, stuck in Spain and wond...


Savage Love Episode 699
Here at Savage Lovecast world headquarters, in the heart of the epicenter of the Big Sick, we are keeping calm and carrying on, baby! Dan chats with Dr. Jen Gunter, who had to practice social distancing for ONE YEAR, so quit griping. She offers some strategies for how to deal with your new isolation. And, Dr.Debby Herbenick explains that although the corona virus is not sexually transmitted, you still can't just be mashing with anyone safely these days. Uh doy! Hear the tale of Maya, stuck in Spain and wond...

Savage Love Episode 698
Sometimes people call us when they're drunk. Sometimes they call us about their dogs. Welcome to the center of this Venn diagram.  A woman has been invited to a "costume wedding." She will be required to dress up like a character in a movie. Is this asking too much? On the Magnum version of the show, it's a super-weird "What You Got?" with an evolutionary reproductive biologist who mulls over the *possibility* that the animal kingdom is teeming with same-sex behavior. Not just the homo penguins. And, a youn...

Savage Love Episode 697
A gay man was hooking up at a bathhouse. His brand new lover wanted to bring a little romance into the encounter by saying the caller's name and complimenting him. The caller was horrified. Isn't bathhouse sex supposed to be anonymous? Meanwhile, in another corner of our universe, a woman is appalled that her boyfriend closes his eyes when they're having sex. How can she get him to gaze deeply into her soul while pounding her real good? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with stand-up comedian, an...


Savage Love Episode 696
A straight man was dating a woman, and it felt great. Until she gave him the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. Is this always a lie? What does it mean? Dan spells it out, with no sugar on top. A man is worried about his new girlfriend. You see, she has never had penetrative sex. Is he special enough to be her first? On the Micro and more on the Magnum, Dan chats with weed journalist (now there's a sweet job if ever we've heard of one,) Lester Black. They talk about a woman whose smart husband turns i...

Savage Love Episode 695
A man is going through a divorce from his wife of 7 years. Although their breakup was peaceful, now her communication is curt and unfriendly. Is he entitled to feel angry about her unwarranted coldness? A man kindly lent a friend some money. Now she keeps asking him for more and more every month! Should he just set her up with a regular payment, or cut off the friendship? On the Micro and the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Dr. Wednesday Martin, author of Untrue, about women's libido, how it real...

Savage Love Episode 694
A young man has been dating a woman for a short time. She seems great...except. Except she is anti-abortion, and anti-gay in a lazy, not very heartfelt sort of way. Can he use his sex powers to change her feeble mind? Meanwhile, a woman is dating a guy also for a short time. He told her that if he got her pregnant, he would insist that she keep the child instead of have an abortion. Should she, maybe, dump him immediately? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the writer Jillian Keenan about spanking: It's for grow...


Savage Love Episode 693
A woman is hoping to find a monogamous partner who is also kinky. But when she puts the word "kinky" in her profile she gets flooded with ridiculous pervs. How can she filter out the clueless horndogs? Hear the very unpleasant tale of a gay couple who venture to an older man's apartment for a hook-up, only to find there were many more men there than promised. Why was this gentleman so dishonest? Aren't older men supposed to be supportive mentors for up and coming young 'mos? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with s...

Savage Love Episode 692
Have you ever experienced conflict during a family vacation? The first call on this show might put it all in perspective for you. A protective big sister can't stand that her 17 year-old sis is dating a 21 year-old man. Their parents don't mind. Should big sister give the guy a chance, or is the age difference unacceptable? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Elizabeth Sheff from Psychology Today about raising children within a polyamorous household. And finally, a woman is considering becoming a fin-dom, wit...

Savage Love Episode 691
Scootch closer, ya'll. It's Bible study with Dan Savage. On with the show: A happily single woman finally broke down after pressure from her friend to have some sex. Against her misgivings, he convinced her to pursue a relationship, promising that if it didn't work out, they could go back to being friends, easy-peasy. Guess what! Now that she wants to break it off, he can't deal with being just friends AND they are starting a business together. Please take heed to this cautionary tale. A pregnant woman can'...


Savage Love Episode 690
Hand-wringing women, am I right? First we have a lady who feels guilty about masturbating at night when her partner is snoring next to her. And another woman feels guilty about "objectifying" her new cross-dressing boyfriend. Is it wrong to be attracted to him in his female garb? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with John Moe, from the Hilarious World of Depression podcast about being a depressed person, or dating one. And, if you dare, hear all about the disturbing things a woman found in her h...

Savage Love Episode 689
Why, oh why (bemoans this woman,) is it that the indie, cool, female-owned sex stores never carry dildos that are big enough for her? WHY?! A gay man has been invited to be the man of honor at his sister's wedding. But you know what's weird? The sister is marrying a racist, anti-gay creep who has convinced her that the caller (and all gay people) are degenerates. So. Should our caller carry out his man of honor duties nonetheless? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Michael Hobbes, co-host of ...

Savage Love Episode 688
It's kind of the bad actors show. A biting biter bit her boyfriend and drew blood. He didn't like it, so she calls him a baby. A dude wonders if can catch a contact high from sleeping with someone who is on meth. A man is miffed because a couple who came to the wedding didn't sent them a gift. Dan sternly chastises them all. People! It's 2020! Behave yourselves! On the Magnum, Dan interviews journalist L.V. Anderson about the history of herpes hysteria. And, vampire porn: How popular is it? Let's have some ...


Savage Lovecast #687
A formerly repressed man is discovering his wild side. He and his wife like to do it in quasi-public in the mountains. He just got her a remote controlled vibrator, and wants to see if he can get her off in a restaurant. But is this ethical? Will people notice? Dan interviews the co-author of a study that finds that women tend to trust gay male shopkeepers over women shopkeepers. They theorize that women find another woman selling beauty products and clothes can't be trusted because their reptile brains tel...

Savage Love Episode 686
The show begins with an insecurity vampire. You know the kind. A person who sucks you dry with their endless need for praise and reassurance. This man is dating one, but is she entirely to blame? It's complicated. And, it's a wedding battle royale! In one corner we have our caller getting married to a man who has a child by a previous marriage- living out of town. In the other corner is the fiancé's mother, who wants to minimize contact between the kid and the caller. Whose side are you on? Grab some popcor...

Savage Love Episode 685
Hot tubs. Are they a safe, relaxing haven or a menacing vector of disease? Here's a poly peril. What do you do when you really, really don't like your boyfriend's other boyfriend? On the Magnum, all of your chastity cage questions are answered, including "Chastity cages? What are you even talking about?" Dr. Ashley Winter is a urologist, sexual medicine specialist and the co-host of "The Full Release Podcast." She knows her stuff. And, when your wife wants to go to the Amazon to hunt for psychedelic drugs w...


Savage Love Episode 684
A man went on a date and he felt fireworks. But later that she told him that wasn't feeling it, but wants to be friends. He doesn't need friends. He already has friends. Should he bother? This question is pretty simple. Her new lover has a gargantuan penis that is shaped like a sweet potato. How on earth is she supposed to accommodate him? On the Magnum version of the show, meet the woman who read every single one of Dan's newspaper columns since he started writing them in 1991. You could say she is a sex e...