That Dos Equis guy's role model must have been my uncle Dan. Has Mr. Dos Equis ever delivered babies? Has he piloted several types of planes all over North America? Has he been rolling in money and then seen it rolling away? Does he effortlessly charm women 30 years younger than him without so much as a hint of creepiness while laughing about two types of cancer and serious nerve damage from a motorcycle accident? Go on, Mr. Dos Equis, have another drink and listen to my uncle Dan's story.