The Morning Stream

The Morning Stream Podcast

The Morning Stream, Mon thru Thurs, every morning, with Scott Johnson and the Frogpants Network. News, culture, politices and talk each and every day!

TMS 1838: The Yodalorian
I'm A Fan, Can I Have Your Kidney? 20% Eyebrows, 80% Mouth Noises. Fight the Mukbang for the Hairy Egg. Eyebrow Mounds. I Need My Eye Hair, Man! Rub your bum on your kidney. Whistle in the Bum smells like wood. Piece of Tent Hangin' Off Your Butt. Dave is just going to waste your liver. Ludwilla the Gross. Making things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1837: Bork LeThorp
Barbie's Come a Long way without bending her knees. A Creepy Grin and an Oily Bag. Lazy Catholic Moviegoers. Duplos are for Dumb Kids. Standard Ass Person. Man in the High Spaceship. Mr. Autonomous the Goat Man. I've Only Known of Three Chances in my Life. I Only Cheat at Put-Put. Add an Extra Billfold into Your Pants. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1837: Bork LeThorp
Barbie's Come a Long way without bending her knees. A Creepy Grin and an Oily Bag. Lazy Catholic Moviegoers. Duplos are for Dumb Kids. Standard Ass Person. Man in the High Spaceship. Mr. Autonomous the Goat Man. I've Only Known of Three Chances in my Life. I Only Cheat at Put-Put. Add an Extra Billfold into Your Pants. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1836: Didn't Expect So Much Butt Puckering!
Going For The Straw God Gave You. Twas the Night Before Tesla. The Chicken Was A Baby in '84. Free Solo: A movie about how to get a scoundrel out of Carbonite. Pushin Kirk Cameron's Face in the Snow. Three fingers and a crevice. I Love Fargo So Much I Can Taste It. That Doctor Sucks. Microsoft's got a broader package. Like & Subscribe To The Todd Bridges Channel Now! Jonah Gyllenhaal. "Tom's Tech Time! Reccamentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream."...

TMS 1835: Mayor Pete Curious
Yodamite Sammich. Baby Yoda do do do do do do. Naked Or Speedo? Myurinal Falcon. Hardcore Hallmark. Abject dickery. Macluncky the Mailman ain't got time for Snow. The Taco Bell Christmas Special. Plasticy DingDong. A Few Toppings Short of A Meat Lovers. Making Things with Bill. Jurty Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1835: Mayor Pete Curious
Yodamite Sammich. Baby Yoda do do do do do do. Naked Or Speedo? Myurinal Falcon. Hardcore Hallmark. Abject dickery. Macluncky the Mailman ain't got time for Snow. The Taco Bell Christmas Special. Plasticy DingDong. A Few Toppings Short of A Meat Lovers. Making Things with Bill. Jurty Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1834: Crowd-Pleasing Popcorn Munchers
Landorian Calrissian. Giant Blue Boobie. Iowa starts with an O. How many Loi do you Know? Waffle House, Starbucks of the south. Got a Little Opie in Her DNA. Poppin' n Sherlockin'. Racial Slurs, but in a Loving Way. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1833: He OMFGd, they ROFLd
The Polygon Pickup. Right Up the Butt of Another Ostrich. Real Cars Have Curves. Going Really Far Into Uglytown. Scott's marbles are way too big for his straw. Shatner-proof Glass. You can have a 4-way with yourself. Dan Dan the Table Top Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1832: Jelly Bean Runs
Don't Bring a Silent Person to a Word Fight. Brown Under with Splendarrhea. Our Glass Is 84% Full. Frogstitute. Johnson Dreams of Ibbott. Because You Only Whisper Racist Stuff! Partaking In Various Podcastery. Ambergris Is The Color Of Your Energy. Whale Vomit No. 5. I don't practice Splendarhea, I don't have no crystal balls. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1832: Jelly Bean Runs
Don't Bring a Silent Person to a Word Fight. Brown Under with Splendarrhea. Our Glass Is 84% Full. Frogstitute. Johnson Dreams of Ibbott. Because You Only Whisper Racist Stuff! Partaking In Various Podcastery. Ambergris Is The Color Of Your Energy. Whale Vomit No. 5. I don't practice Splendarhea, I don't have no crystal balls. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1831: Bad Case of Hank Azaria
High Pants & Dumb Boots. Don't Disparage the Lederhosen. I Like My Pumpkins Larger. I Like Big Pumpkins and I Cannot Lie. Larry Von Didn't Do It. Here's A Cup of Her Ashes, is this enough? Navigationally Challenged Italians. Maybe we Boycotted it. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1830: T-M-Meth, We're On It!
Mad Max: Who Runs Christmas Town. Trump Twitter Turing Test. Bed, Bath, and Colon. A little spiderman powder. CARTWRIGHT! YOUR BUTT PROBE IS READY! Always Barf on the Quaker Oats Man. Slightly glapist. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1829: The Rings Of Speakage
Violating Her HIPPA Right Now. Rich Uncle Foodbags. 3 Cows walked into a sandbar. Sirigasms. I know Lake Ontario, okay the answer is Toronto. Man of the Meeple. Its fried chicken...i like fried chicken. frog panty things. Tea Time! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1828: No Brother for Old Men
The Wolfman has nards. I only name my cats after space hookers. Does The Little Plus Body Do Anything For You? Lose weight by amputating your butt. Teaching a Secret Class Farter. Half My Brain is Dead. Azmodan was Dan's wresting name in high school. Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1827: Netflix Middle Sag
Covercat: Ultimate Music Critic. It takes longer with the handle. Drink Weed Everyday. Tea. Dank Kush. Hot. Short Round Takes Down Tarzan. Removing That Growth in the Basement. Stop My Mom Or She'll Explode. Furry Shirtless Husband. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. This one is for Dani....


TMS 1826: Playing Mario Golf on the Toilet
Arctic Jenga. Julian Assange the Hedgehog. McClunky. Almost Jason Mamosa. Turning Milk Jugs into Actual Jugs. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Old Pizza Boxes. Corn Nuts are the Devils Testies. There Were Women In The 60s. The Muppets in Diapers. Tom's Tech Time! Reccamentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1825: Papa Don't Sleep
WHERE'S BOBA DENT!?!? I Have The Worst Sized Head. I Would Have Found Satisfaction That The Smoke Monster Was Nanobots. Red Dead Wiggle. We Have PLENTY Of Girth! Wrong Beatty! Jim Parsons as a young Captain America. I forgot I put that in that slot. Making things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1825: Papa Don't Sleep
WHERE'S BOBA DENT!?!? I Have The Worst Sized Head. I Would Have Found Satisfaction That The Smoke Monster Was Nanobots. Red Dead Wiggle. We Have PLENTY Of Girth! Wrong Beatty! Jim Parsons as a young Captain America. I forgot I put that in that slot. Making things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1824: The Eggs Of Uncle Tony
Behind in my Acrimony Payments. I don't want a small Spock. Two Feige Enter, One Leaves. You Get No Blizzard Money, No Shatner, and No Lieutenant Yar. You could put any pet in the dog incinerator. No Offense to Any Monkey's Expressed anuses. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1823: Naan Ya Business!
Et Tu Blue State? Sturdy Old Dudes. Taking Hitler for Tea. No one wants to be called Randolph. McDonalds found an old storage unit. Obnoxious Insects was my Adam Ant cover band. Veronica Won't Appreciate Our Phrasing. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1822: Alice and change
Real Housewives of Olympia. You Named the Dog Roomba?! It takes an a-hole to get out of a sticky situation. Runnin on Bamboo and Cat Hair. Blame Popeye. Gross shafts and choking snakes. Tom's Tech Time! Reccamentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1821: Plu shot at the Schmallgreens
Poo Hand Luke. Six Feet Tall And Full Of Mayo. Are the nipples part of your argument? Sad little Picard. Hard Karn Parn. The Bluedens. Not As Cool As Wax Figures. Ricutus Erectus vs The Shocker. 6.5 Naked Dudes. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1820: TMS will last longer than TMS
Terminator: Fart Date. TMS will last longer than TMS. Nick Licked The Pops. Speak With Your Money Wallet. First Weird Nipple. Pacman Public Relations. Floating an Ibbott One-Off. Beam Yourself Into Ignorance. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1819: The Moan and Scream
Vladimir Poutine. The Dodgy Tobacconist On The Side. The Fighting Jews of Arvada. Poutine Or Frys With Junk On Them? Don't Be Afraid to Make It Thai Hot. My Finishing Move Was The Dodgy Blunt Roller. Almost Danny, But Shaggy Instead. Poutine Poppers from Canadian Chili's. Camel did nothing wrong! Amy, Gidget and more, on this episode of The Morning Stream...


TMS 1818: Crimson Permanent Assurance
Not Good Nudity, Weird Nudity. Cranky Firefly Hooker. Sun's Out, Bung's Out. Kim's A Better Dad Than Scott. Park Your Thing In The Slot. It Looked Like Boner. That's not Hacking, you just left the door open! Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1817: Struggling With Total Recall
Sorry About The Limp Biscuit. Long Story Short: She Died. I'm Going To Bluto's. Transitioning to Golden Boogers. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were considered for the roles of hosts of TMS. Risa, The Bouncy Planet. I Don't have a Chicken in This Fight. Nobody Puts Data in the Drawer. On Fire Means I Love You. Isn't there a Truman called Something Capote. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1817: Struggling With Total Recall
Sorry About The Limp Biscuit. Long Story Short: She Died. I'm Going To Bluto's. Transitioning to Golden Boogers. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were considered for the roles of hosts of TMS. Risa, The Bouncy Planet. I Don't have a Chicken in This Fight. Nobody Puts Data in the Drawer. On Fire Means I Love You. Isn't there a Truman called Something Capote. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1816: Accidental Squid
Growing Lady Parts in Old Age. Source of the Stink Bag. Something of Catan. You can never have too many gloves. Stink Begins at 12. Fruity West Server. Dan Dan the table top man and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1815: Hot Fruit & No Lids
Soiled Or Unsoiled. Spitting Out A Litter Of Model-Babies. Bruce Hemsworth. We're All Eating Wrong. A Protective Layer of Clothing. Batman Costume Is Too Tight Around The Neck. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1814: Idiots Do Idioms
The Fart Is In The Hot Dog Water. Pissed on a rose from a plane. Get Your Jizz Jazz Together. Who's the Hung Guy? Give me five minutes to deal with my crone. A Little Revenge Never Hurt Nobody. ATM...... Oooh THAT! Uncle Doctor Boswell Protection Service. Barrels and Bananas and might involve a Tie. Tom's Tech Time! Reccamentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1813: There's A Red On-Air Light On This Thing!
The Mitt Puppets. Is that a red light on top of that thing? Can I have The Dude? Is that a red light on top of that thing? Dipping your Sack to Make something Wonderful. Is that a red light on top of that thing? A Quandary of Ethical Proportions. Is that a red light on top of that thing? Chin to Neck Definition. Making Red Lights on Things with Bill. Red Light Jury Duty and More on this red light episode of the morning red light stream....

TMS 1812: Metal Gear Salad
Chronic Oscarbator. Point The Rocket Upwards For Space. Six Shooter Yosamite. Thou Shall Not Put Mayo on Ramen. Is Bunny Bread a Cat? That Puppy's Not Ripe Yet. Have we sent Cate Blanchett into space yet? You Like Stormtroopers Like I Like Spider-Man. Call now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1811: Nooks and Crannies? I don't play chess.
How Long Is Veronica's Sausage? Slipping Peter. Hercules Cures Bumrash. Waterworld: Prince of Thieves. The Ol' Skin Cave. Coupons Aren't Consistently Korean. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1810: Inconsistent Paranormal Presentation
Bat's In The Kitchen And The Silver Spoon. Disgruntled Dishwasher Dump. Real Dog, Or In-Game Dog? Where's the Beef Shavings? The Brain is a Weird Jello Mash. Flush Puppy. Zoe Brings Moisture. Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1809: Looking for Love in Alderaan Places
Assembling Children Ikea Style. Walken into a Murder. Not Homeless, Just Drunk. Dead Girl, Mint in Box. Booby Blanket. Who Gets To Be The Special Sauce? Eddie Vedder's a Person of Interest. Somebody Check on Eddie Vedder. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1808: Pot Calling the Kettle Meth
Don't Kiss Me, I Smell Like Dog Fart. She Liked It.... She Thinks. Straight Metal, Gay Rubber. Nibbling Around The Top And The Bottom of the Cylinder! Talking Politics Through A Pillow. I'm Tired Of These MFing Snakes On My MFing Back! Trippin' On Sesame Street. I Put Salt on Steak... and Some Other Things. Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1807: Do The Eggs Match the Lobes?
Meet the Jokers. Portly Paultry Poultry Scientist. Paltry Foul CW Scientist only digs hot chicks. Johnson & Johnson & Jansen. You, Your Johnson, and Eight Billion Dollars in Damages. Bumperhug the Guy in Front. Show us a real pig New York Post! Pushing Picard's Buttons. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1806: We didn't say anything stupid today
Normally gotta pay for the pinch in the back. Making your way without fructose today. George Went East. Shrek and Pig 2020. Ease into a regular taco. No one wants a Shtunt. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1805: Your Hot Tub is Without HONOR!
Mist is Liquid Dust. I Hope They Were Pasties. Entertaining Butthole. You Took My Banana! You Ate My Termites! There's even white guys on the team. This is my Walkin' Around Oscar. Doggerito Effigy on a raft of Oreo. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Charles Manson, the Dude from the 60s. Laziest preacher tongue. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1804: Particular Set of Zamboni Skills
How Do You Mine GayCoin? I Solemnly Swear I Will Have No Sympathy. Hell's Blanket. Petroleum Coke Classic.So Far Up My Alley, I Need A Doctor To Remove It. Glandulatory. Brian Has All the Stupid Stuff. Tom's Tech Time. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1803: Injectable Kung Fu!
The Love Tunnel Is Ribbed... For Your Pleasure. The River Of Pork Ribs & Goo. Peleton, ROLL OUT! Good Romney, Bad Romney. I dream of dream journal. Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1802: Frosted Frakes
Always bet on Rebecca Black. Scott's Double XP Poo Poo. Yelp Reviews for Naked Lunging Man. Crazy Dave and The Rest. Go Schleicher Yourself. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1801: How To Feed Your Bigfoot
Boner Hair. Thank You Rando Dan. Jonathan Keyboardist. Turds under the water. Just Not Where They Do A Dump. iPhone bill paid in WoW fish. Analy Excused. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1800: Macaroni Krill
Full On Tutu Business. Charcuterie Necklaces. Double Date with a Gay. Get In Line, Ariel. 30 tiny little white women in a spanish production. Take Out Your Hat Box Garbage. The Beer Soaked Crazy Neighbor Experience. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1799: Donkey Hotay
Cursed With A Harry Johnson. Names You Mispronounce from People Your Used to Like. It is a Dung Beetle, and That's Not a Pinball. Rappertights. I Only Have One Kind Of Blood! Big Bulgey Unit Packages. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1799: Donkey Hotay
Cursed With A Harry Johnson. Names You Mispronounce from People Your Used to Like. It is a Dung Beetle, and That's Not a Pinball. Rappertights. I Only Have One Kind Of Blood! Big Bulgey Unit Packages. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1798: Gary from the Thug Life
Oh no, A Walrus Sssssssssssssssssss... Attenborough McAttenboroughface. Who's the Bald Guy? In Soviet Russia, Walrus Hunts You! Did Jesus have a MySpace Page? Tatum Scrotum. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1797: Bleeding Into The Unit
Jill the Snake Lady dropped her Krispy Kreme in my Pee. The Batman, The Joker, and The Whatnot. Testicle-Shaped Swimming Pool. I'm not fat, I'm Bulky. A ranch full of guys named Hector! Super Hyphen Hero! Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1796: Mail Man Monty
I'm Not Watching This Movie Right! Gen X Gonna Give It To You. Tougher Than a Constipated Poo. Pop Quiz Hotshot, What Is Waterworld Covered With? The Inner Joker is in you. Gidget Quiz Day! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1795: National Dogs Piss Us Off Day
Is Anime a Cartoon Because I Like Really Wanted To Know? Is Scott Dirnk? Peer Beanie Pressure. Riker? I'm Gonna Crusher. Sweety Todd with Sonny Depp. Resse Withersoupspoon. Teppanyaki Chardonnay. It's Over For Dougie. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1794: Package Left In Customer's Bush
Naked Bike Butt Butter. THERE'S NOTHING IN THE BOX! A Pinball Machine Starts With A Pinball. The Cherry On Top? Making A Stranger Cry. Don't Put Dog's Anything Anywhere. I have an Old Lady in a Toyota. Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1793: How to Drain Your Dragon
Hitler was a Sauerkraut. Pulling Asia Out of Your Butt. Sonny Bignuts, Private Eye. Bristol and Potatoe Palin. This Is What Happens When The Second To Last Blockbuster Closes. No one wants your damn ocean lemons! Knicker? I Barely Knew Her. Octobots vs Fishticons. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1793: How to Drain Your Dragon
Hitler was a Sauerkraut. Pulling Asia Out of Your Butt. Sonny Bignuts, Private Eye. Bristol and Potatoe Palin. This Is What Happens When The Second To Last Blockbuster Closes. No one wants your damn ocean lemons! Knicker? I Barely Knew Her. Octobots vs Fishticons. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1792: Dingle Your Dongle
All about that D-Pad! What's that handkerchief called that you wear around your neck? There Is No Missing Episode. Two Moons, Wrapped Around Another Moon. OBVIOUSLY The Switch Purchase Was For Business Purposes. You Want The Long One Or The Short One? Which is the better floss, dental or butt? App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1791: Served with a Burger Diaper
Brian Ruins Scott's Grandpa Moment. My Favourite Flavour Is Burnt. Your Liver and All Other organs except one are Unisex. What Else Can KFC Shove Chicken In-between. Japanese Texa$ Toast. The Slightly Irregular Hemsworth. Turtlegasm! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1790: Tubular Meat Products
Hot, Fresh, Deep-Fried & Rolled In Nuts! Fart-cancelling Headphones. Bring Me Your Tired, Drunk, and Angry. Benadryl: How Does It Work? Brian logically debates teleportation. Tom's Sex Time. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1789: To Bounce A Creditor
Emotional Support Clown. Spriggen is a perfectly cromulent word. Warhol, The Lost Ninja Turtle. SECRET INGREDIENT: DIPPIN DOTS! You Down With UTC, Yeah You Know Me! Scott Wants to Get Rid of 90% of his Inches. Making Things With Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1788: Spock was never president
Tons of Canadian Geese but only Two Frasier Cranes. I relish ketching up on The Mustard Stream. New Girl: Beyond Thunderdome. I Want A Tree With Adequate Privacy. Voluptuous Hair Around the Hole. Shove it up your butt to keep from having babies. Don't Not Let No One Pick Your Bum. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1787: No More Afternoon Delight
Whatever toots your bag. Don't Look Up Reverse Brian. Video Ass Video Game. Ross With the Big Back. Over the Counter Butthole Control. Beat your inch? Stop Poking The Homeless! Dan Dan the Dessert Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMSPM 1787: No More Afternoon Delight
Whatever toots your bag. Don't Look Up Reverse Brian. Video Ass Video Game. Ross With the Big Back. Over the Counter Butthole Control. Beat your inch? Stop Poking The Homeless! Dan Dan the Dessert Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1786: We Called Him Split Pee
Morris Day and the Balsamic Thyme Reduction. A Plant with 100 Penises. Moles with Greek People Attached. Please Include Grandma's Foot. I don't Taste the Food, I just Eat the Food. My Father is Mister Doctor Pants! A Plant with 100 Penises. Silent thinkers aren't serial killers, sometimes their just thinking. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1785: Iron Chef 7-11
Hiding Behind The Glört-Glört. Gun-Toting Drunk Uranium Snake With Arms! The Real Human Stuff Is Expensive. Babble Royale, Come Out And Plaaaaay! If At First You Don't Succeed, Rob Your Own Store 29 More Times! A Briefcase Full Of Human Teeth. Cold ankled Hookers. Ketchup Now, Mustard Later. A Very Sensitive Button. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1784: Mad Max: Beyond Palindrome
Everything Is Wet Down There. Implied Cable Boobs. A Banana Is Always The Solution. The News brought to you by a tangent. How Much Plastic In Plastic Surgery? Fancy People Don't Press F5. When I Go, Don't Bury Me, Just Decriminate Me. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1783: What Came First: the Bird or the Concert?
We Like Norwegian Wood. Don't put Simon Pegg in a round hole. Billy Joel left 20 things in the 60s. Let me flip a coin royale. British Beeble Mania. You Had Me At Heart Attack. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1782: Jagged Little Tooth
There are Four Lights *crash* now Three Lights! Bottom Bottom Bottom Bottom Bottom, Top Top Top Top Top. Purple Paper People Eater. In the Event of a Water Landing, Please Find Gloomhaven Under Your Seat. Fire up the Pharm Signal. Propane and Propane Addicts. Cat Man Gitus. Take Poo and Call Me in the Morning. Dan Dan The Table Top Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1781: Allergic to Grills
Brian Whips Out His Wand. Kim Gets Dipped In Mustard. I didnt get nuts, I got Spiderman socks. He's got the whole alphabet...in his name. Doth Protest Meat Too Much. Suspenders Keeps his Junk in Place. I'm Sensing some Picklage in Here. There's a Floater in the Mustard. Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1780: STOP! Hammer Crime!
All Of The Weirdos Are On Discord Now.... We're On There too! Keeping The Good Stuff In Your Butt! This Was Cheese, Five Stars. THIS GUY IS RIDDIKULUS! Waiting for the Great Creamy Peen. Not The Ugly Brother. How to lose your husband in texas in 5 days. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1779: Low Hanging Codpiece
Those Aussies Make Awesome Blonde Ladies. Then You Shall Receive No Chicken, No Sandwich, and No Magical Mystery Sauce! Scott hates the Smell of Lou Dobs in the Morning. Chicken Poop burns the Chicken Coop. Kim with a Burly Makes it Feminine. Air Supply all Love and Casey is all about the boogie. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1779: Low Hanging Codpiece
Those Aussies Make Awesome Blonde Ladies. Then You Shall Receive No Chicken, No Sandwich, and No Magical Mystery Sauce! Scott hates the Smell of Lou Dobs in the Morning. Chicken Poop burns the Chicken Coop. Kim with a Burly Makes it Feminine. Air Supply all Love and Casey is all about the boogie. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1778: A series of Micronaut tubes
Revenge Ketchup: Best Served Cold. You can't go home and you can't stay here. The Greatest Poops of my life have been this week. I Don't Like the Way She's Holding Her Money. Emulsify My Suspension. I Guess the Americans are good at something? Dan Dan the Table Top and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1777: Fully-Furnished Hellholes
Full Of Bongs and Porn. Driving Miss Coverville. Everyone's Got a Little Peter in Their Brain. Frickity Poop Stickers! That's Not a Cigarette, THIS is a Cigarette. She's A Maniac.... Wait.... Is She A Maniac? We Want the Real Cancer-Causing Agents. Forest Gump even had Dirty Dancing. How much underlayment is in the butter sculpture? Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1776: Scorswayze is not new!
The swallowing is the hardest part. Please Hold the Drips and Snot. Everybody Ends Up in Playboy at Some Point. Lollapalooza for the Overly-Pierced and Tattooed. A crap ton of brightly colored vomit. Crickets may be delegated in transit. Diaper Full Of Whatever You Need. Vandoodled! Making Money moves. I've been doing all these guys in their 70's. Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1775: I'm Callin' For Frogpaints
Rusty Harden will get you off. My memory of her nipples is still strong. Powder in your Banana. This mystery can bite me in the hole. If You Bump Your Liquid In Space, It Goes Forever! Throwing turkeys is in The Crying Game. Squirting Brown Zunes. Can you pass me a towel, i just got out of the Septic Tank? Making Things With Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1774: Sex Pig Laser Attack
R2-BigUnit. Infinite Cosmic Uterus, Itty Bitty Living Space. One Lump Under a Fridge. Muligan Rat! Lay That Steak On My Face. If the Hamlet water wheel is rockin’ don’t come a’ knockin’. Sunscreen, bug spray, and always wear a condom. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1773: Hairy Paper and The Legend of The Stupid Z's
Pretty Fly for a Shoe Guy. I MADE COMIC SANS! Fried Pen Pineapple Apple Pie. Someone's Wearing my Magic Underwear. Cursive Z Can F Right Off. Um... You're Foot is Buzzing, are you going to get that? Breaching the Breech Peace Beach. R-Rated Witchy Poo. I'll Only Drink Ketchup For Money. Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1772: They Didn't Come Out Of her Face
The sandwich was a baby. Hi, I'm Bill and I'm addicted to cantaloupe. They Speak Cheetah In Greece. Is Ketchup A Smoothie Because I Like Really Wanted To Know. Even Space Has A Car! Everything Within Walking Distance For Jesus. Deep Dop Dorp with Sam Jackson. Mikey didn't die from spider eggs. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1771: Uh-Uh, Click Click, Squirt
I Found a Tape Nazi. The Boy Who Beeped Wolf. Brian's KiMooMoo. Chalula is My Girl! Zombie Nazis! Dried Husk of a Wafer-Thing Piece of Wood. The Line to Punch JRY Starts Here. Coming up at 11, Horky Dorky Dorky. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1770: Tainting the Corners
Verily, volumes of vomiting Vultures. The Finer Points of Booby Traps. Matter Pooping Lad. Stick a sword in me I'm done. The USS Cheerios. No more grape fondling. Madea Takes the Bus To Jail. Matter-Eater Lad's Mom Wears Capes. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1769: Slather Grandma in Peanut Butter
Fungal Around The Bung Hole. The Crowd Of Nope. Caulk that Bread. Peanut Butter is the weather proofing of Sandwiches. TMS Stops Being Polite and Starts Getting Real. Dan Dan the Table Top Man. Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1768: We EARN the stupid!
Petty Theft Auto. X brings it and then gives it to ya. Hilariously Racist. What do you call stealing a thing? I need to cash these chips.... Oooh Shiny! History of Must Ard. Scott Doesn't Care Enough to Fix It. The First "Turn and cough". Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1767: Phony Guacamole!
What is the plural of penis? More than anyone expected to learn about apples. I want a new Ghostbusters, one that won't make me sick. Major Vajor. Ibbott's Miraculous All-Day Apple. Allergic to a Finger Up the Bum. That 3D printer really captured his junk. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1766: The Kindness of Rednecks
Shirtless with Brian. Running into battle with a Floppy Doom Hammer. Waif thin and pants up to the nipples. Ridiculed by French Clowns. Space Walrus Squeezins. That Guy in Politics Lied. Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1763: Pink Milk is Gravy
Day-old sex rolls. Testicles in the Glove Department. Appliances That Bleep Anxiety. I DRINK YOUR HOT DOG ICE CREAM MILKSHAKE! Booze Bladder in a False Pocket. Fly, fly, fly, fly, tomatoes, and flies. Urinal Slots Jackpot Dumps. Harry Potter and the Autopayment. Tom's Tech Time. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1762: The Bad One Is In A Separate Bag!
Men in the front women’s in the back. Chasing Spider-Man Across the English Channel. Robes Make Me Feel Funny. One Harry Potter Barf Bean, Please. Grape Smugglers. Back To School, Eat Some Chalk. Making things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1761: Who's In Your Wallet
Less of a Man Burger. Wine and Cheez-It Pairings. Sherry F Truman was real. Gidget staring Mary Todd Lincoln. Don't Hydrate Your Comics. go to the store and get some fake barf. The Golden Girls Preserved in Vinyl. I'm a little greasecup, short and gross. Don't forget to add the songs! Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1760: Don't Fear the Reaper
Smells like Bacon Bits and Dispair. The Hot Stuff shouldn't be that Thick. Over 100 Years of experience, and still little to no common sense. Ice Cream Cheese Pairings. Thunderclap Headaches. New Teeth sprouting from the roof of my mouth. That's a face of a Cat with his nuts snipped. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1759: A Man On Each Foot
Sucking Gidgit's Digits. Satchmo Baggins. Like an Insane Person State Farm is there. Confusing My Squeeze and My Sparks. Certain Rooms For Certain Things. Uber will DRINK your milkshake. Skerrit, Not Merrit. Stop Feeling Your Oats, You'll Go Blind. Dolph You Forget About Me. Call now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1758: 98% Chance Of Grasshopper Ingestion
We asked for more Tacos but they wouldn't give us any more tacos. Worry not, denizens of Vegas! I've got this! Harvey ChinDent. Pretty Darn Fast and Slightly More Furious. Having An Outdoor Moment. Come for the Wi-Fi, Stay for the complicated Toilet. Butter knife chin cleft cranking. What Do They Call Feet In France? Tom's Tech Time. Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1757: Keep Checking to See if the Bottom's Good
Who Ordered A Sausage Party? Lean and Moist. Stars with a T, ends with an S, and they are back in town. Only Insane People Eat the Raspberry. A Cacophony of Misinformation. Three dead people in Hollywood. Two Horsemen of the Woodpocalypse. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1756: Taco Her Into It
Scream Cream, now available from Five Guys. Magic Mouthwash animal style. You know what they call a Big Mac in France? a Vegas Royale. Jack, Carl And Hubert. Red Fleshy Baked Potato. Dan Dan the Table Top Man! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1755: She took my urine, and my snake too!
No Johnson at the Nude Beach. Police save nudists, All Units Responded. Brazilian Hooker BBQ. The Voyeur has Become the Voyee. I'm that weird crueller in the corner. Oh, you said Volvo. I think his name is Des Lope. Good Lease on a Corellian Corvette. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1754: Invisible Pez
Crusty Blob Of Pepper. My Safeword is Crackle. Spits for the Pickle. Things that Kill Small Mario. Pizza box Drone Challenge. Bad case of PEZ cankers. Fluck Away My Floater. It's the hammer what kills you. Unfamiliar Texture in My Mouth. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1753: That's A Wet Slap
Want To Be Snot Brothers? Just pick a knothole and put your money in there, eh? My Weiner Sleeps Six. Buzz Lightyear's Batteries Fall Out His Butt. Unauthorized Horse Dentist. Go to your room you've Ben Sassy. The World Of Fallout Smells Of Cinnamon. Making Things With Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1752: Where's Waldo in the Lizardtorium
Rectum? Damn Near Scrotum! Interview With a Prostate: The Misunderstood Gland. Extra-Wide Data Storage. Lucky Charms semi. Who is Jeremy Flopsweat? 40K is My Bag o' Pajamas. Hipster. Doofus. Mustache Only. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1751: Whatever churns your cheese
Kim's Rawhide Pillows. Get to the oven! Carpet Noodles! I Don't Understand Why You Say Things That Are Not True. Do it for Squiggy. There's a Ring Around Uranus. Confusing the Gassy Giants. Stupid, Sexy Chris Pratt. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1750: Go with your second first instinct
Big Thanks to Greg Forwalkmen. The Devil Went Down To Mumbai. Kraft: The Paklids of Food. Warm Man Urine. I got you a Nintendo Switch, ᵃⁿⁿᵒᵘⁿᶜᵐᵉⁿᵗ. Big Injection of Korean Culture. Spinach Gushers and Raddish Roll ups. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream!...

TMS 1749: Rubbing His Beans In His Scupture Garden
Just Talkin' About Arrow's Shaft! Free deez nutz! Scott and Brian's J-Lo sandwich. Carbon Neutral Boobies. Double Bird Up the Hoo-Ha. 7-Eleven Delivers Now? You're in My Special Area 51. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1748: The Most Concerning Non-Food You've Ever Had In Your Mouth
Diaper Changing Blast Shield. When There's A Dog Involved, Things Get Weird. Farrah Fawcett-Turd-Ferguson-Majors. Naked and Unafraid. There are five, no four, lights! Never fart when you're hiding. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1747: Hatch, Fly, Mate, Die
Except That One Time In Mexico. The MGM Made Me Pregnant. Plague of Pants. Po-Po-Poker Bones. Not Janice From Accounting. Can I Smell Your Weed? Dan Dan the Table Top Man. Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1746: Godzilla Sized Nipples
Slightly More Expensive Hotel Room. Isn't there a guy named Fats Wallaby something. Accidental Weed Cake. Freezer full of Fat Boys. Cap'n Crunch Dandruff Sammich. I'm from the country Puerto Rico. The Best Part of Wake Up, is CoverKitty in your cup! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1745: Kanye Pepper
Puckerbutt Pepper Quiz. Trying to remember something you had in your mouth. Tom Waits, They Don't Love You Like I Love You. Watermelon: Everyone's Favorite Vegetable. The Cleveland Calayviers. Blue Bell needs a Social Condom. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and More!...


TMS 1744: Is it too Early for Stargazy Pie?
Him, The Cat, A Girl, and a Pizza Place. I Like How Grandma Smells. Check out my HALexa Trebek 9000. She knows how to raise a Mean Corgi. Nestled in My Supposed Wheelhouse. The Flames of Justice Rise High Enough to Burn the Powerful. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1743: This Is Not A Dream, This Is Not A Hoax
National Lampoon's European Tax-Credit. This Chef is Bananno. Low-T, High-D. Regular Seats, Luxury Seats, Popcorn Seats. One scoop of blackmail ice cream please. Once You Popcorn You Can't Stopcorn. Major Spoilers! The Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1742: Remote Controlled Willy
Pimple Makes Its Own Gravy. Broken hashtags of yore. Rudderless Freakin' Bottle Rockets. Tina senses a disturbance in the crotch. i want a box of powdered holes! The Notorious FHR. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1741: January Fred Marketing Complex Tomato
An Inch and a Half all the way into my butt meat. 28 Lyfts Later. High Speed Man Hormones. Pre-Show Pen is Substantial. The Peen Machine is Ready to Stream. Antisocial Dining. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1740: More Points than Regular Meat
If I Could Put A Turd In A Bottle. Cameltoe Deck! Saving Aunt Jamima. Cosmonutjobs are in space. There are no sea men in space. Incremental Granular Improvement. Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1739: Underwood, Over Cheese
Kim joins Scott while Brian is out sick! Carrie Underwood is made of cheese. Pretty sure the kid dropped an eff. What are YOUR phobias. I am only paying for half that cake. Have a cow to cuddle? Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1738: Bimonthly Syrup Butt Injection
Brian caught the Lyft Virus. The Answer To Why Scott Can't Remember Names. Free-Range, Organic, Grass-Fed Gifs. Farty Beefstick and the Odor Of Chernobyl. I licked it, and It tastes terrible. Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1737: Supposed Peanut Butter Square
Undercut side crust. The curious case of Emma Bunton. Crouching Brian, Hidden Muffin. Restraint, sex, and cake. Richy Besting Face. Scott Violates his own HIPPA. Is there a band called something Spice? You can't have a conversation with a flesh light about chipoltle. Call now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1736: Visiting Monkey Mountain, Does That Count As Shopping?
Urine Trouble Now! It's not the glasses, it's you. We're no longer trying to find the right answer. I found a Rathtar in my grilled cheese. Exploding like a Pinto! Rub a dub dub Mariner in the tub. Eating is just food shopping. Old chucked puck discovered with luck. Your mom is mercury cougar. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1735: Very Aggressive Wanding
Aggressive Wifi Bands. Scott Builds up Bill, Bill Builds up Nothing. James Buchanan winks from gay heaven. Don't trigger your pace maker. Always look on the bry side of life. The Dude and Buddy condition. All tacobell must pass. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1734: Parrotphrasing
One Eye Larry and the Other Girl. I give Lyft Therapy. Starring English Dan and the Robot Jiggalos. 70's Brown Tone Foods. BossTreef! Particulate Levels of Cocaine in My Car! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1733: Confungus
Now with 25% more cricket. 1 Star Review for Driver Shirt. Conglomerate of Podcasting Super Mutants. There's a Haggrid in my bathroom. There is No Story About Bulldog Testicles. Play the longer sausage. Disciplined By Big Pink Bat. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1732: Jagged Little Chill
Check out my nose taint! Tell it to the possem! That's a huge Roger! Septum, I barely knew em! Sneezing my spleen out my nipple! Sneezes in Threezes! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1731: Head-Sized Tongue or Tongue-Sized Head?
Big Floppy Tongue Meat. Meet the Prunetang Clan. End game, now with five percent more end. The oral kickstand. The clergy does Debbies baptism. Twinge my sensitive areas. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1730: Caruruoted Ortery
Carter's Monkey Island Adventure! The Gigilo Economy! 7 brides for 7 Bradys. Where's Ann B. Dead these days? We have all brands of ducks! One nipple fake steak twister. GIve peas a chance. We asked for more fish waffles. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1729: Can you eat a rooster?
Edible Rooster Snack! DJ Middle Seat! The Path Needs Manscaping! I thought it was all lady chickens. Has anyone checked on Shatner lately? I neither gained plums nor lost plums. Take a long look at Brian's clear bag! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1728: Narcoleptic Kleptomaniac
Anybody wanna swap meat? Every Post-Apocalyptic Community Needs a Steve. You're being disrespectful to William. The Stink of Terry Gross. Into the Weird Adult Video Emporium. Once its in your nose, it's yours. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1727: Bald Older Men With Hairy Torsos
Grand Theft Ibbott! Rolling around with Larry Winston and John Marlboro. While my tech guy gently weeps. Full frontal chicken salad sandwich. New locker room rules blown out of proportion. Whip out your pre-assembled meat stack. It's Track Suit Larry! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1726: Clown McGreggor
The older he gets the more he sandbergs. Jessica Cheese Stain is in this! The Indian Dot not Feather summer. Everybody beats Bieber. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1725: Spread the word, our wages are crepe!
Once twice three times a sneezer. Big phat fatty stacks. Taco special: Three for the price of three. Don't steal my pee and fish oil. Peat Buttagooble. Sing and desist. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1724: Juniper Von Scrubbynuts
No air no blow no nothing. The great monicle dabacle. We go on plenty of Danjents today. I know where your unit is. Hey man, do you even lyft? Dan Dan the Table Top Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1723: The Arm in the High Grass
My other ball is a spare ball. From Your Garbage I can Tell You Like Chumbawumba! It's easier to get a hippo into heaven. When did Nixon die? You’re my wife, take me to the movies. Call Ken Burns or one of his friends. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1722: Age of Vagitarius
Plug in my Super Nintenblow. Welcome the Ladies of Mute. You're the Homer in this situation. How many people make a friend. Isn't there a Scarlet called Something Witch. Less Rich, not as Crazy Asians. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1721: Drunkin Donuts
Bumping fists with Kim. Incendiary Octogenarians. I like an Arny Parmy. My Pencil is gonna get faster. The first singer on the moon. Getting sued by a hooker I forgot about. Never go full twilight. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1720: F-35 Dong-fight
Skydong! The one where I floss! I put a ring on it so it wouldnt go away. I see lady faces. Let me swab your cotton hole. Worf's Honda Civic. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1719: Frogpants Nipple Census
Nipples are funny. I like my bananas without horse sperm. Dan stares at me from his darkened room. Take a tincture, it will last longer. Dan Dan the Table Top Man! All this and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1718: You look a little war machiney!
Thick, viscious milk beer. She did'nt provide enough asterisks. A fun whackadoodle. The monkey king and the iron price. One does not simply spell balognia. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1717: The Old Man and the Fries by Ernest Hamburger
Band-Aid Flavored Ribs. Despatchio, Served Cold to Billions. Jaley Hole Osment. Mild Mannered Peter Pork Loin. Goin Downtown on Tom Petty. Look at this meat! That's how Mario wipes his butt. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1716: It rubs the preservation goo on its skin
Pole, not Paint. Naughty Nickel Nabber. Double Hooha Without Cheese. Farawayness. My Ethel Merman is My Fred Schneider. Lyft for Content. She picked his bum and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1715: Blinded by McMuffins
Too many McMuffins. What the hell is Gold Wings? Zerg vs. Zurg vs. Zorg. Massive Head-wound Brian. Skin and Tonic. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1714: the future is untethered
The Adventures of Matt Rubber. Dude! Dewd Dooood! dude. Emilio Estevez Level of Snow. Use Grippy Stuff to Hold Your Pole. Dan Dan the Table Top Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1713: Pepsi Curious
Man Buys Samoa Happy Endings. I'm on the Huawei to Hell. That Finish Girl is hot to trot. Pretty sure pepperoni is a meat! Bad Omens and Larry's Dirty Utensils. Tom's Tech Time. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1712: Three Taco Shells In The Bathroom
Me and Peter in Paris. My pants are warning me. I do NOT want any of your cheese. That's dirty money. Taco Bell getting into the hotel business. Making Things with Bill and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1711: Tweak Everyone's Anger Bean
Sweet oil, man. Thank autopilot you're alive! Your pink sauce has a bad name. The king wants to feed you in traffic. I think your shirt smells something bad. Major Spoilers! The Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1709: What Can Only Be Described As Hard Potatoes
Put some fiber in your digital diet! I'd like a Big Mac and some sanctuary, please. I'm not racist, my dog is black! Those turkeys are aggressive. Potato kids ruin everything. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1707: How to Upcycle Your Dragon
Daniel Craig aint gettin any younger. You snake smells really nice. Dennis Rodman palmed a different kind of ball. Who shall be mayor of Sandwich now? I wonder if Satan still plays Pokemon. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1706: Big Mac Squeezins’
That guy shouldn't get free anything. Your fruit really stinks. Arizona is now a Ninja state again. The virus made me do it. Who left the hatch open? Call Now and Trek nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1705: I Shall Not Decry His Thriftiness
What it down, dummy. Gater Pants on the loose! Someone has to eat the brush. Please take me to jail now. McDonalds is gonna get weird. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1704: Mmmmmm Floor Corn
That popcorn is everywhere now! Starbucks gets a good deal. Do not eat the rats. Release the goats! Take me to jail. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1703: These brownies taste like ash
Mario would be proud. Hi, Dairy Queen, it's me again! Has anyone seen Agent Penis? Tumblr tumbling toward it's former Tumblr glory? You CAN teach that dog some new tricks. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1702: Skeletor of Nazareth
Freddy visited me. Dominos fell at Dominos. Please don't moon us m'am. I know that foot! Now where did that AirPod go. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1700: Train my Crotch Wand
Hello, bad decisions my old friend. Cause I'm Freefallin'. End Game at Dominos. Full moon at Starbucks. Someone is gonna have to lift those weights. I know those feet. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1699: Wolfgang Chuck
Tell me about this Zoot Suit. We don't have the meat. What are these footprints. Got caught in your own spy hole. The Dominos will fall. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1698: Ant Acid
Kim joins Scott today! What happens in Vegas burns a hole in your head. I can smell you with my tongue. Woodstock 50 is Fyre 2.0. Skywalker rose in 2012. Beware of seagulls drunk on ants. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of TMS....

TMS 1697: Our Little Social Holes
I don't understand you 2x people. Cat drugs are the worst drugs. I thought you were undercover. Please remove our boxes sir. Then I will have to PULL OUT THE GUN. The SanFrancisco Street Treat. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals! Vegas Tips with Mitzula and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1696: From Elbow to Finger
What the hell is Spimony? Who wouldn't want to be married in baggage claim? Easter in Florida is whacked! That would clear any bench. You had one job, crosswalk people. Call now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1695: Llama + Emu = Goat
And I'll be hosting from a body cast. Then I will have to eat the bones. There's a hole in your heart. Sorry, we made you spit on him. Folding phones are harder than you think. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1693: Last Peg on the Trucker Strap
Watch out for sharp objects. Spaghetti Mouth commeth! Burger King feels bad about it. How micro are your blades? He thought they was aliens! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1692: How about we focus on the Question
Indian food is weird. Denver kids are out! Beards are gross. Try putting less in your face. There are 4 eyebrows! Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1691: Kim's Weird Purple Thing
Hey Nick, maybe slow down on the burn! Mom dad and son are all busted. What happened to your sweet porn collection? Remind me to never get microbladed. Facebook put hidden messages in your VR controllers. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1690: The Luke Abides
We ain't GoT no spoilers. Who is Madame X? Let me touch your faces. It's still real to him, dammit. I guess I was Soda Nude. Sure but where's the cat? Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1687: Furiocho
You only get one shot. Aren't you a little short for a burglar? See you in 2067! Bees bees, at least four or so bees. You poach, you get the horns. Tom's Tech Time. Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1686: Lookin for Lungs in All the Wrong Places
Knowing is half the battle. We love what we love. Sausage bags! Take this trash back! 99 problems and my organs aint some. See my vest! Making THings with Bill and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1685: As easy as taking Doritos from a teenager
I think you're eating my chips. Where do you keep your meat? Eagles do not like trash. Hallmark wants to make our lives hell. Why are you shooting each other? Major Spoilers Tred Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1684: When You're Here, You're Starving
I was wrong about homeless listeners. Lets do the Taco Bell Strangle. You made Gabe face. Should have gotten the right chicken! Marshmallow man is not happy. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1683: Picker, Grinner, and Fidget Spinner
Many dogs, many pillows. That's a cool kid! Goats not allowed in Utah! Quit taking lizards, please! Another doth protest too much. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1682: Horse Bucket Garambe
Umm, that's a pillow. Game of Thrones comes to The Bellagio. Do NOT act out The Butterfly Effect. What's with all these Garfield phones? Such a cute pig, let's eat em. Making Things With Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1681: Golden Punch Man
This is your Brian on CBD. Give me extra pepperoni. Hey driver, that's not yours! Here come the bodies! Not enough doin it! Those are cool l501 jeans...I mean diapers. Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1680: Tickle Me Furpo
To the cookie driveup! Angelina Jolie is Eternal. How many maggots does it take to cure me? Your boss stinks, so sue him hard. Hi, Pasta, and welcome to my pants. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1679: Nocturnal Fight Club
Put on the gloves, honey, gonna be a long night! Beware the cane toads! Shaq likes to eat. Then I will have to put up the naked mannequins. What DO we do in the shadows? Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1678: Bacon Isn't Shaped Like a Pig
How long is your end game? Then I will have to...TAKE the tv. How's that beer diet treating you? Old man fight! Is Pepsi NOT ok? Jury Twinkie and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1677: General Tsalmonella's Chicken
What's that you got behind you? Naked Russians! Shaq likes pizza. I'll need to search your bag, sir. I'll just keep this huge TV then. Major Spoilers! Treck Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1676: Darth Mall
Cars are weird, yet here we all are. Dan Dan the Table Top Man! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1675: Aorta me some hair fries
Bill and Ted are back. Robocalls happen to everyone. Brian might want more fries with that. Put it right in my veins! That's a lot of printer ink! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1674: Wall Hiking
Dreaming of electrocuted sheep. Death Metal is happy. Cockroach fight! Burger King wants your sub. NASA has a herpes problem. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1673: Playing Footsie With Death
Don't put your toe there. Where's the white bread...for real this time. The 9-minute birth...for real this time! Netflix used to detect tumors...for real this time. Death Metal makes us happy...for real this time. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1672: Maybe Disney Jumped the Gunn
Let's quiz the master. Where's the white bread? The 9-minute birth! Netflix used to detect tumors. Death Metal makes us happy. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1670: If It's A Restaurant, It's Not Racist
It's homecoming. Goats ruin everything. Have you tried burp therapy. Actors are not the same people or something. I think she might be faking it. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1669: Food Tumor Supreme
Do I trust your meat pocket? Barney does other things now. As if winning once was not enough. Why work hard when you can cheat? There's a nice new beer for dogs. Tom's Tech Time and Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1668: Fart Picklers
When you know the V8 has gone off. Those cats are HUGE! Where'd ya get the cell phone, bud? These pants don't fit but the beer does. I'm gonna die, but first, let me take a selfie. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1667: The Grapery
I'll be your angry taco man anytime. How much stuff did you steal? Cats are getting huge. She's not gonna wanna win that. Shkreli has a secret phone. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1665: What doesn't kill you makes you longer
The cat came back the very next day. There will be snoring. Hi there kitty. Money can't buy everything. Drive yourselves to school! Hipster on hipster hate. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1664: Not just any knob
Hanging out with my old friend Marty Graw. This cereal is gross. I have shot myself in the ween. Can I use your sink? Hello, american kitty. Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1663: Stickin’ it to Mr. Hilton
It's so bad but so good. Heaven can wait. That is not a flight I wanna be on. You should have told me no butting. How big was that spider? Making Things with Bill and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1662: Simulated Doin It
What ticket did I get again? I smell like Vegas! Who put weed in the cake? Just me, this car, and some taco sauce. Where my gold at? This is not political. Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1661: Whalecome to the Jungle
Let's a go! Usually, you only see those in the ocean. Pigs love Oreos. We are all going to be holograms one day. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1660: F the Right Off Outta Here That Direction
Slip sliden away. Where did my ball go? I am covered in pee nutt butt hair. Bee bee, huge giant bee! But who's going to clean up all the Koopa shells? Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1659: The Bellagio Bidet
The toothpick strikes again. Sorry about the toilet paper, Canada. Then I will have to TAKE THE GOLF BALL! You can eat that meat just fine. Son, you might get licked to death. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1658: Slap into a Snim Gim
It's time for tea! Well that was an odd dream. She's totally old enough. Rat Cyborbs are coming! You can fight me with a light saber. What do Thor and Hulk Hogan have in common? Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1657: Frozen Daughter Milk
Sometimes drinking before bed is a good thing. She's older than the park! I want my own cyborg rat! Fencing with lightsabers. Make sure your giant scorpion is stowed away properly in the overhead bin. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1656: Goofy buddy and confused vampire lady
We've got a ticket to ride. Monday bloody monday. Punisher and Jessica are out. He kissed a girl in 1945 and he liked it. 10,000 naked men! Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1655: Scootin' Around on a Slim Jimmy
3 60-year-old dudes in the snow. Bud Weisser is in trouble. The Fortnite Fyre Festival. I don't believe this is the correct amount. Another doorbell licker! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

SKIM 14: Robes and Toast
Family drama and what to do with it. LOADS of listener questions. What about that old crush doing your floors now? And so much more this week. Oh and steak, shrimp and crab legs!...


TMS 1653: Dick Assman of Regina
Robo Calls run a mock! He doth inside trade too much. ASSMAN update! Do not kiss those deer. Hello, fishy fish! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1652: Pig Mentally Challenged
We wanna help kids! TMS Vegas just got even more interesting. Bill Cosby is having an amazing experience in jail. That teacher is terrible. I always wear this mask. That's a huge goldfish! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1651: Swashbuckling Seamen
Oh hi, remember me? Waterworld got LONGER. Coke is pretty sorry about that. What bed do you sleep in any way? I didn't ask for gold on my pizza. Mommy, what are those people doing on his garage DOOR? Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1650: Point on the Body Where Your Immune System Is
Got 99 problems and the show is definately one. Those pigs never loved you. I NEVER wash these hands. Delta and Coke are sorry. Bed bugs, everbody out! Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

SKIM 13: Weird European Uncles
We finally clear up the toothpick in the pot thing. Also, a LOT of voicemails today where we answer all the hard questions, and Kim is making amazing food today! All that and more on SKIM!...


TMS 1648: Tinkerbell's Palsy
It's been a long fun, getting from there to here. The stick is now stuck. I never said I wanted to be born. Don't offend the Canadians! That looks like a fake toe to me. Call Now! Your emails and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1647: The Final What Down?
What's with all the white stuff? Teeth: How do they work? I don't think the USB stick should go there. Man versus Mountain Lion. One mans dead shark is another mans bong. I did not approve of this life. Tom's Tech Time and Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1646: Wandering Into Mulva Territory
I'll take the special of the day, hold the wood. You've been McArrested. Audi has a poopy new car. Smoke em if ya got 10 decades under your belt. There is an empty bag up there. Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1645: Why Does He Get Genitals?
Everyone wash your hands before you touch the trophy! May I please lick your face, sir. Cow on the run! Now that's a cheesy wedding! Sir, what is the nature of your burger emergency. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1643: Cave Anxiety
There was a baby in them thar hills! In the event of the event there will be an event. Batman is coming again but as a different dude. Please don't commit crimes. Do you know how fast you were going? A tiny man with a big problem. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1642: Welcome to Taco Bell may I take your ordinance?
Brian rolled initiative and got a 1. Chicago is like the arctic right now. Check out my hairy style. Those were NOT opioids. Gimmie all the tacos or I will blow up the nacho cheese! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1641: Bacon Bits or Mr. Footloose and Uncle Tremors
SLC smells like Bacon today. The 10-year-old kid knows what's up. Where did this plane come from? Elevator Waiter. Ozzy wants to celebrate. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1640: Grandpa begins at conception
Oh, hi Gordon. There be a baby comin. Monopoly fights are the worst. Delta answered the biggest flight quesiton. Do NOT kiss your hedgehog. Tom Brady is a cheater and he can prove it! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1639: Manspreading vs Shebagging
How stupid is your mailman? Your candy will be different this time. Sam Elliott says it's about time. Ken Griffin has a nice house! Someone lasered Tom Brady. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1638: One and Dunaway
I want an eSports bar and grill too! It's a hula hoop, made of beef! A Penn woman tried to kidnap a kangaroo! I would not want to be on her flight. Would you like to rent a sister? Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1636: Soy Nut Inclusions
Thanks for the armpit! Prince Phillip is a bad driver. Put it in my viens! Pornhub has new stats! Ford makes butts! Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1635: Flatulent Plumbing
I think my plumbing is trying to tell me something. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1634: Cheat Responsibly
That's a long night. How did they get through that? Africa on repeat! The egg wins. Dumb kid finds himself in the bird box. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1633: Hamberders & Covfefe
The Children War. That's a lot of molasses. Toto forever! Take that, Jenner! Bird Box gets really dumb in Utah. Tom's Tech Time! Recommentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1632: Is it too early for a raccoon sandwich?
You like sauce or side? Does this look infected to you? Hmmm...Raccoon. Hi, it's your dad! R Kelly is hiding. Costco wants to hook you up for a gooey 20 years. Making Things With Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1631: Burgundy Button Downs
Healing, and limping, and tall tall building. How about some pizza, America? What flavor is your pringle water? Do you want a dead animal with your meal? Answer your damned texts! Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1629: Maria With A Spoon In A Back Room
Operation Boomer Operation is currently operating. Those aren't my needles. Carful what you brag about. Watch out for the giant fatberg! Doo-Doo Butt finally arrested. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1628: Doorbellingus
Hey keep it down out there. Hmmm, hour doorbell tastes good. How much are the naked noodles? This IS your cheese. No idea how those got up there! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1627: Sea Meat
What would Walt do? I am my scars! We used an old fish! That roadkill is mine! My wine tastes weird. Don't say this about Julian! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1626: Pho King Bingo
Hey Ruth, I really liked Chris. 400 pounds and still going! That Pho place might have to change its name. What is the nature of your space emergency? That's a pricey fish! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1625: Cafartic
What does the number mean? Dunaway joins us! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1623: Señor Discounts
When you get your new years eve timing just right. Can I just sleep with your dog? Old lady is not so old. I'm on fire and would like this Ho-Ho, please. What happened to my wig? Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


SKIM 08: Firm Workable Pancake
Man you guys like sending emails and voicemails. So we read and play them! Also, we talk a bunch about how the holidays are going, and how to smoke salt...among other things....

TMS 1621: King Whatshisbucket
How Marry is your Poppins? Old 2am Turkey. That guy delivered. The Red Nosed Theif! This tastes weird. I wonder if this zapper will work. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1620: Bewbs Actually
Hey Tesla guy, you want mint for pillow? FedEx lines are really too long. Just look for the red nose. This chocolate tastes weird. Zert and give me your money. Tom's Tech Time. Recommentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


SKIM 07: Rule Breakers
Kim breaks all the rules on today's show. A LOAD of your emails, how to do pasta salad right, and so much more on our little Christmas episode!...

TMS 1618: The Adventures of Buck Monthly
What's with the emotional audience guy? Thanks, The Cork. I want my emotional support chicken. What's this in my oyster? Naked with bag on head. No one wants this FedEx delivery. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1617: Dog Repairs
Why am I doing this again? You have to watch more Bambi. Putin wants to run the rap world. That ink must be really expensive. The Dude is gonna get his. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1616: Don’t Trust The Q On Deck 23
That's not what the blue water is for. Polly want prime shipping? Those are some socks! This place is greasy. So many santa problems. Major Spoilers. Maybe trek nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1615: Toes, Toto, and Toast
Ok, Justine, gimmie the results. It's all documentaries now! App Time and Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1614: Side of Undies
I can't breathe cause there be paint up my nose. What is THAT on the wall? Check out these toes! Blow up that lava, son! Coors keeps an old dude alive. I did not order this underwear. Tom's Tech Time and Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1613: The War On X-Miss Kentucky
Facebook saved my dog! Sonic is gross and dangerous. Kentucky Fried Nudes. That is no sheep. Roger The Ripped is RIP. Making things with Bill! Jury and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1612: It's Weird Doing This Backwards
Big Dog vs Little Dog. Here's my 32nd flavor! Tourist on Tourist action. Don't call us we will call you. Funeral Home NUDES! Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

SKIM 05: Hallmark Cinematic Universe
We are knee deep in flooring at the Johnson abode. Worrying about your kids texts. Cornish Pastys are really really good. Even the Canadians like us. Dinner with the kids matters. And loads more!...


TMS 1610: Chad The Exorcist
Be gone foul demon! Fart and a knife, two bits. Someone has to repell those bears. Hid did what with the what now? PETA says quick being racist about pigs. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1609: Reese Whitherbone
How do you wanna go? Sit on THIS, tough guy! Can you hear me now? Look at the size of that bird! Burger King has a penny for your thoughts! Tom's Tech Time and Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1608: The "Exscape" of Rascal Penjarvis
What food is this? Mud lady wins! He just walked out! I think that's Clark! Steve Buscemi is well liked. Making THings with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1607: If You Can Dodge $3, You Can Dodge a Ball
Those Nazis had cool stuff I guess. Dodge Ball money! Hello, I am doctor pee pee. I am so sick of this cake. You got the wrong guy. Look at all these bones! Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

SKIM 04: Pickled Nightmare
Scott and Kim are here again, with a Birthday episode of the show. We talk about your emails, thoughts on mall fights, and what Scott does with pickles. And a lot more of course....


TMS 1605: Don't Trust the Key in Apt. 23
There's too much meat here! Who are you people? Disney is gonna make old star wars new again. This hockey puck will save us! Elon Musk is serious about simulations. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1604: Nobody expects the Sweaty Handquisition
That student is weird. Sweet sweet meth. Wanna take a car shower? Vegas and their cow noises. Taking pictures and taking pees. Tom's Tech Time and Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1603: The Ma'am Mum Conundrum
My kingdom for that duck. Let's get trivial. SLC is full of porch pirates! Secret teen phone business. Call yourself a terrorist, you are OFF the plane. Is that a rat you're cooking? Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1602: Nacho-Eating Lad
There are no good nachos left. Dog park etiquette. Now how did that phone get up there. Utah Kids like to fly! Eat a lego, and start the clock. Kids and their secret language. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

SKIM 03: The Internet For Ladies
Lots of emails and we get to talk about what we did when we were new to the couples world. How the goats actually work. Halmarkers are a thing. Kim's side of the birthday cake dog thing. Foodie of the week and more!...

TMS 1601: Neighbor to the Doodle
And then there was one. Hotdog Followup! Here, have some of the money. Jimmy Dean wants everything to smell bad. Chickpox is back in a big way! Taco Bell wants you warm. Tom's Tech Time and Recomentals on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1600: Silent but self explanatory
You are gonna wanna see how Mister Crabs dies in this thing. Dirty Queen! My heart will go on. I think I found Danny DeVito. That's not how weddings are supposed to go! Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1599: Party On, Girth
Kids are funny. How far did that hot dog go? Dirty Dirty Queen. Drink nothing but soda and you get the horns. All praise Danny DeVito. Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


SKIM 02: Ground Gator
Episode 2! We are committed! We talk about farms, kids and art, those horrible Hallmark movies that are coming fast, makeout mornings and more!...

TMS 1597: Church of Aunt Jemima
It's an email kind of morning. How red is your lobster? Men with beards are way sexy. What's the sign for "you farted"? I don't remember meth being in the original recipe. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1596: Met your match on Twooger
It's 2am, whatta you do, hotshot? Hey, bill...what's in the jar? Need more men. Bugs will save us. Quit telling me how it ends! Tom's Tech Time and Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1595: Killing Demons in the Form of a Question
I am in Jeopardy. Long Time, No See, No more. Bill Gates got that through TSA? There is not enough fish here. Bug Farts will fuel the future. Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1594: Xanax of Catan
What happened at Blizzcon for reals? Scaramouche Scaramouche will you give your two-cents worth. App Time! Dan Dan the Table Top Man and more on this episode of TMSPM....

The Scott and Kim Johnson Show Pilot!
A special post in the TMS feed of the brand new "Scott and Kim Johnson Show"! It will have it's own feed soon, and is of course on the frogpants megafeed as well. But we figured TMS folks would want to check this pilot out! Keep your eyes on frogpants.com for when it gets approved by iTunes, Googleplay, etc....


TMS 1593: Fiiring up the Epilady
That must have been some spider. Breaking Badder. Waffle House was hoppin! Gimmie that wig! The beaver and I were just friends. Give me my quarter pounder! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1592: Haunting of Toll House
Karl speaks! Twitter is weird. PornHub wants your leaves. Dead or not, he still won. Sporks are dangerous. Here, sit in this, and like it. Tom's Tech Time and Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1591: Took Me Jubblies!
Ninja Paint! Death Threats and apple pie! That is Ragu! Boob Fart! Black Coffee makes you a badass. You took my testicles. Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1590: America Is A Person, Right?
Blizzcon was conflicting! The vegan must pay! I think your boob farted. You are jacked if you want it black. The bulldog took the whole kit. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1589: Toast is Bread
Cheese bread is good no matter what time of day it is. They done blowd up that moose! Give us your trash! Hitler costume was not a Hit. Green Beans will never be the same. Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1588: Straight from the McPig
Sweet D.va costume, kid! I smell like lobster. I'm a stray so give me burgers. Waterparks are better with NUDES. How'd you get here from Maine? Take that shark! Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1586: Artificial Hoo Ha
I need some sleep advice! The floor is heavy, man. Plastic Poop is everywhere! Be on the lookout for Ross. Toilets go boom. I come from the future and I have proof! Tom's Tech Time and Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1584: Rear Bokeh
Bagel Plate theories! A visit from a total Dork! App Time and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1583: Oh Hi, Hitler
Getting my Cod Blops on in a big way. All the stuff we said yesterday but never got to! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1582: Taste the Tumor
The Great Homer Experiment. Just call me 'Hi Hitler'. Best pizza is in another castle. Bright pink is older than you are! Tom's Tech Time and Recementals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1581: Dishwater Woodwater
No bum today, but I have photos. As the world turns...for Superman. What is little caesars up to? That's a smart diaper. Making Things with Bill and Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1580: Rear Window
I saw a bum, and I did not like it. Mystery Date Report! You have an alien in there. That guy is "lawn" gone. I don't trust that pizza. Burger King is fast! Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM: 1579 Crusher No No
When your call is worse than your duty. Games and drugs with Dan! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1578: Toast Sweat
Your reality is very dusty. The wet plate mystery! Ghost Meth! Trash Geyser! How very cumbersome. Those teeth will make you high. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1577: Not on (M)any Drugs
We have a Taco Bell correction. Suge Knight's son knows whats up. Where did ya get the meth? Yellowstone barfs it all up. Cucumber fight! Tom's Tech Time and Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1576: A Man Delorean
I dream in creed. I saw Venom. Bansky is a genius. Stop yelling Dad over and over. Fonts for your brain. Tupac is still with us. Major Spoilers and Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1574: The Ladies Attachment
The tooth's gone missin! How would you like to be an inch shorter. Play-Doh is still squeezing it off. Golf balls and selfies. Have this brownie and vote for me! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1573: Tom Hardly
Don't spit that back in there! You never get to talk to me again. Your mustache is long. Beware the satan hole. Dunkin' Homeless. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1572: Chicken Cake
In Ohio, With God, all things are possible. LAX gets lax about pot. Colorado couple gets lost! The Cat Poo Neighbor! How long is your stash? Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1571: Cheese on the Back End
Why would you say that to me? Pizza Oven Lovin! That's a real slap in the face. Get the lead out, Boy Scouts! Please look at my phone, lady! Our burgers are less gross now! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1570: D is for Dingo
Taco Coffee! The dead do not like pizza. You can't charge your phone up here! Too many flaming hot cheetos! There is no row 35. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1569: Trek The Halls
It's 5am and I smell like bully sticks. What are YOU wearing this halloween? The Liver / Burger trade. Listen to this weird noise. So long and thanks for all the pizza. It's a very Shatner time of year. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1568: IPA Now, IPP Later
Funerals and Fortnite. The Beers were near at Beer Fest my dear. Scrabble went weird this year. That bus driver is kinda cool. Trade you my liver for burgers. Tesla Trucks sound crazy. Robot or Not and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1567: Dental Flope
Taco Bell thoughts. New tooth, who dis? Beer Fest time is back! App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1566: The Frogpanty Raid
Hide from me, no matter what occurs! Do not put a leash on people! Poor chip. I vote no to giant spiderwebs. How much to shut it all down? Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1565: Dark Web Sherpas
When you know the internet is lying to you. This kiss is part of a complete breakfast. Grandma killed the gator. WNBC is trying to move in on our Oreo tasting turf! Hurrican Weed! WD-40 is serious about security. Toad is great. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1564: Trouser Bowser
The bra is gone! This is NOT about Mario Kart. Not gonna buy that lettuce now. Just a man and his roadkill. How many spiders is too many? Fortnite addiction kills marriages? Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1563: What's in That Tree, Brah?
There's a bra in that tree. That date was a real mystery. Watch out for aggressive goats. We didn't mean ALL you can eat. Someone has to shoot the ghost clowns. Texas man is odd. Major Spoilers! Oreo Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1562: Sitting For A PM
Hey there, limpy! Possible Dan Dan the Table Top Man! App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1561: Gone Fission
And then the apple gods created adam. The dog was alive after all! How to murder your husband. Hanoi says stop eating all the dogs. That is not a normal pen. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1560: Naked Pineapple Humanitarian
Naked, but generous! Bully sticks are made of what now? That bird at my cheeseburger! Subway was pretty cool with it. South Koreans love their lower stress. Tom's Tech Time. Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1559: How to Train Your Murderer
Brian was right! Dog fight! Please don't take that. Old fish! 50 years at Macdonalds! She kicked the winning point! Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1558: Peppermint Punisher
Sometimes it's just the smoke. Brian had too much Peppermint. Denver goes all in on the conspiracies. Just pee in the trash bag, sir. Naked cookie baker has poor life choices. Then I will have to TAKE the colostomy bag! Major Spoilers! Oreo Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1557: Cowboy Boots and Vaseline
Scott wants to talk about Burt Reynolds a little bit. Brian wants to talk about Spiderman a little bit. Oh yeah, well we also have app time! We top it off with Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1556: Oui Oui in Public
Watch bad movies with friends. Cow shmoo on your car! Get off my lawn or I will shock you. Clowns should probably not have guns. The French just don't care! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1555: Can I Bring My Gorilla?
Dining in silence! Monkey Mondays! Don't dip your chicken in the drink. Sleep now! Lady feces! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1554: An Axe-ident
Park City is as nice as ever. Those do not look like real fish. KFC wants you to take their money. Here, eat all these avocados. Man smell is very explosive. Making Things With Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1553: The viscosity of lunch
Hi Boomer. Mystery Date Solved! What sound gets scott's ASMR on? Ghost lobsters! Grandma Python. Fine, it's cancelled then. Where did these men and their lube come from. APP TIME and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1552: Flintstone's Garbage Disposal
Waffles and Ramen! How much for the disney crap? Bees bees thousands of bees in NYC! Runway man strikes again! NBC knows whats up! Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1551: Whoopi's Cushion
Cher Barbie has some things to say. There's a skeleton in the road! Hold the mayo! How much for the meat. What's 400 bucks anyway. Red Rum has a Red Bum. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1550: Playing with My Ram Man
The Yogurt Diaries. Nothing trivial about last night. Hold the mayo! Meat vending machines! How much for the barbies? Oh, hello bear. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1549: Less is fewer
Take that humans! I get to turn and cough! App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1548: Penguin Erector
There was a flash and then a flood! Always logout first. How many did you have anyway? Grandmas car was rad. We do NOT have a penguin erector! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1547: All Zales Are Final
I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I love Christmas! That orange is ugly dude. How far can your stones go. Nude Highway Man. Let's set him on fire. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1546: Ding Ding Bonk
120 and still dreaming about it. I'm in breaking bad country! Texas School pulls it down. What are you doing at work? Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1545: Scrim Bumbly
I will now become Lord of The Flies. Late night leveling. Keep crackin them knuckles! The year they made contact. Looks green to me! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1544: Nude Lewd Dude
Pepper attack! That nun is packin. Germany is out of bottles! Stop licking my car. The Beetle kids are weird lookin. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1543: Click ‘Cancel’ to Subscribe
Dreaming of wolves. That's a whale of a beer. All the Waldos right now. Steal soda, get tazed. Utah pilot had issues. Making things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1542: Dog Frosting
Let them eat cake. Randy pulled his Orton out. How much for testicle beer? Cat on cat in Colorado. HERE'S Waldo. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1541: Beat Street Burgly
Stay awhile and listen...to Metzen again. These tuck boxes are tuckering me out. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1540: White Overbite Dancing
Sometimes you have to hold it for later. Do not eat those crayons. Drop the lemons and give me all your nickels! How much deodorant does one man need? Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1539: Boobie Ponderosa
Those birds are not tridactyls! Was that you making cat sounds in the bush? He has a false flag! SnapChat is made of plastic. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1538: No Cat’s Sky
I blame my echo for those chips. Maybe he'll retire from bad action movies. Those are hot snacks. Hey brad, can you milk me? Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1537: Reverse Fonzie
We have air, but we have smoke now too. Babble Royale! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1536: British Butts Break Burros
My AC is terrible. Yer gonna kill that donkey! Clark Kent is better than Michael Phelps. They shut down the cannibal restaurant. That bear is outta there! Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1535: Two Dudes Reads Internet
Run, Tom, Run! Mystery date solved! This coffee tastes weird. I'll buy that castle please. There's goo on the freeway! Dry Ice is the devil's play thing. Tom's Teck Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1534: Orangey McFatty Pants
Sometimes you just have to go back to the beginning. That's a painted donkey! Kombucha too far! It's a one time kind of deal. GG, now give me 8 hail marys. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1533: Herpo Kardashian
Not your grandmothers Netflix. They thought Ving Rhames had the meats! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1532: Quitter Twestions
Shut everything down, we've got a floater! KickStart my heart! App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1531: I like it open!
Philly Steak and say CHEESE! That cat is gonna make me smarter! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1530: Thank You For Being A Fred
Break out the dogrittos! Hi, I'm Brian and I'll be your cohost today! Blowing french fries is fun! Sneaky tinder hacks! Recomentals! Tom's Tech Time and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1529: I Have Seeded Thrice
The chair and I are one. Hi, I'm Justin and I'll be your co-host today. How much for an add in your armpit? Don't mine me, I'm just doing some naked pushups. Here's beer in your eye and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1528: Man in the Fish Castle
The boy who lived. Hi I'm Stephen and I'll be your cohost today! What the heck happened in San Diego and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1502: Twenty Seven Teens
How would YOU celebrate 26 years of marriage! I just wanna park here! That escalated quickly! IHOP shocks the world! The head can still bite, yo! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1503: Squid Left His Business Insider
Farewell, Anthony. Hey, yer that guy from that time! Fake Kim Jong Un got held! Do NOT eat the under-cooked squid! This crab found Jesus! App Time and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1505: Jorgy
The TMS Micro Experience. Spend time with your pets! Avengers made serious bank. The McToilet rule. Bees bees millions of bees. Morrissey says vegans are super rad and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1508: The Tot Cartel
When your kids hate things you like. Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1510: Transparent Chicken Backpack
Go to bed already. No more lucky chickens! You can't make that movie here. I'm totally going with her! State Fair food is gross. Reccomentals! Tom's Tech Time and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1517: Manscape your church
Was the shoe what done it! Very lucky girl. Camera blown up! Urinal fight! I can see your drawing from space. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1519: Human Gravy
July the 4th be with you! Epic international phone fail! Facebook is confused. Sony is not helping their piracy problems. McDonalds warns us of utter chaos! Canada has a poo problem. CALL NOW and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1520: That Fresh Ant-Man Smell
Your Pepsi just couldn't handle it. Let's play guess the taffy! App Time! (Scott's pick, Brian's pick) Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1524: I Hope You’re Wearing a Diaper
Keep it down out there. So many lawns to cut! How much for a new transmission? I only drink at the stop signs. Snacks on a plane. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS PM 1525: Brush the Puckle
How good is Brian at trivia, REALLY. Let's take a look at some apps! (Scott reviewed "Look, Your Loot!", and Brian did "Up Left Out".) Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1527: Putin on the Ritz
Tadpoolers keep getting married! Subway knows stuff. Your nose tastes weird to me. What rattlesnakes are a thing. Umm, that's not gas in there. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1526: Fondue Macarena
Hurry up or you'll be late for Pot Church. Elon Musk might be bad at twitter. Vapers just bout take down a whole plane. Sweet bucket seats! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1523: Ex Macarena
Bathe in my milk. A big babble royale! Tom's Tech Time! Recommentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1522: Bathroom Ketchup
Hot Cheetos are super energy food. How many spiders again? The ladies do not like the Speedos. That naked runner is HARIBO! Costco is anti-polish. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1521: Schrodinger's Pickle
Too much mac and cheese. The wives are OUT! How much for the old burger? Kicking you out of your own pool. Rocket Man, signed and everything. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1518: Trumpstone Chewable Vitamins
Bird attack! Silent money is still money. Those ecstasy pills look familiar. Madonna is a horrible neighbor. Why popcorn is better with chopsticks. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1514: I Just Chew What My Wife Brings Home
The tunnel of love? Finally, the leader of the space nation is here. Dinosaurs can't say ahhhhh. Rough night at the ballpark. We asked for more fish, and they killed all the fish. Recomentals! Tom's Tech Time and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1513: Egg Unit
My dog's not that scary. You can't take pictures here! Girl Interrupted! You're it! I was just makin a sammich, officer. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1512: Bieber Secretions
Prohibition is back! BMW makes tiny cars. Stop taking pictures with that bird! That expensive Hot Dog water. Try and not jog over here. Is your doll possessed? Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1511: Ballistic Gel Thanos
These old maids they ain't where they're supposed to be. I ate one too! Burger King is sorry about that. Naked and throwing chairs. Rats ate your money. That hotdog gun probably hurts! CALL NOW and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1509: Do Right by Your Underbuisiness
Worst game of burgertime ever. I am whitey mcwhite white. Bob the cat! It's a salad emergency! Snakes get hungry too you know. Revenge is served! Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1507: Leave It In The Beaver
The Swedish Ghost! Take my heart with you when you go. Someone in Idaho has the plague. Hmmm...beaver secretions. That is one sexy cow. This taco tastes like foot. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1506: FireflyFlan
Eff the pipes! A very puzzling pint. Babble Royale Returns! More bees! That Vegas Orgy was kinda lame. That Racoon in St. Paul is fine! In and Out had a bun problem. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1504: Pockets of Jam
Too much E3. Welcome to Octlantis! Thanks, Dog Pee! Kim Jong Un brought his own utilities. Sorry, that's not on sale, but here's 300 million dollars. Major Spoilers! and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1501: Two Boobs and a Lady
Should you pass on movie pass? Volcano Man! The Eggplant is not going to work. Danny DeVito is quite the prom date. Recomentals! Tom's Tech Time and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1500: Groin Folds Five
It's international get this mug day! Maybe don't do it in that river. Check out my Pit Liquor! Define 'pickle'. That guy got totally stoned. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1499: I’ll Be Your Friend For Free
I'd by that friendship for a dollar. Vegas likes to start early. Hey doc, does this look weird to you? Blamber Stictch Slumber Crutch saves someone! A gun, a machete and a guitar walk into a bar. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1498: In Un Out
That lady does not trust me. Kim Jong Un wants a burger. That dude must have really stank! Don't blaze up on a plane. Jersey Shore blows over to France. App Time! (Squarespace Note & Pac-Man) Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1497: Doodling With His Bing Bong
That was a lot of beef. Time for your mug shot! Two rings, one marriage. You don't look like captain kirk. I wanna die like I lived! How many gallstones did YOU have removed. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1496: Keebler the Leprechaun
Saw solo in a quatro. More like Hall of Flame! What would jesus fly. How to get people off PornHub. Do not roast marshmallows there. Tom's Tech Time! Reccomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1495: Military Grade Tacos
How much is that Joust in the window. I only like Nazi Flags. You can't sell your own highschool. That is some seriously old dandruff. Car wreck and a haircut two bits. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1494: Gooch Guard
Charity and mugs, mugs and charity! Boulder has a problem. How much does that plane hold! Sesame Street is not down with the Happy Time murders.  Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1493 PM: Opie-oids
Mating UPS trucks. Scott is a Bluetooth blocker. Your mussels are totally high! I need enough potatoes till fill the entire tub. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1492: Is it too early to get a phish email?
Let's go PHISHING! Fake dog testicles are in! Old chicken feathers are out! Cow Cuddling is a thing! Bit Coin Pizzas are also a thing. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1491: The Morning Satan
Del Taco is ok after-all. Who is this woman! Lava Spatter is bad! Let's go brieeing this weekend. I like a quick grope and a pee. Better up that kid's allowance! A visit from Satan, lord of the damned and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1490: Hail Hydrox
No more lawn racket for me! I predicted something in 2013. Get off the roof! Let's take this walmart cart to the bar. That rusty box had the goods! New tattoo, new name. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMSPM 1489: Hitler was a Jackwagon
Let's test Brian. Here's my wallet! Chips sleep well. That was totally Hitler. Hot bath with Bitcoin! App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1488: Horton, Here's a Poo.
I have a house full of potential felons! Would you like a latte with that? This sauce tastes funny. Would you like a Jetta or a meat stick? I don't wanna run track anymore. CALL NOW and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1487: Nerves and Chipotle
Those dogs are super cool. How quiet was the place? I would have fired her too. Gap is bad at geography. All you can eat nothing. No more bugs on a plane. Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1486: Flex Your Pecs and Tell Me a Bedtime Story
My mom grossed me out the other day. Your echo is ruining babies. Thanos finally arrested. Burger King and Wendy's are gettin' it on! Where are all the frogs going? Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1485: Fake Nudes
Does a wendi poop in the woods? You want to bathe in my what now? Ask your baby first! Stop being dumb, Utah Tourists. Penis vs Arson is not a good trade. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1484: Gentle Ben Take The Wheel
I took the bait and it was nice. We do have new listeners after all. Birthday spankings are not good. Hey bear, you want some icecream? Vegas goes big or goes home. Your rabbit is on fire. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1483: Great Big Stringy Boog
What's that on my phone? Battery Drain is real. Dr Dre loses a fight with a lady doctor. Youtube says no more cheating! You'll never take Shatner's underwear! What are the microwave instructions for pee? Toms Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1482: Overwhelmed By The Melons
Here, take my money. Hmmmm, boat beer. Mule Puppies. How many can YOU eat? Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1481: The Morning Whoops
You sleep in it, you deserve it. The quiet millionaire. That is some very old yeast. Puppy drugs are the worst. 30,000 big macs and still kickin'. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS PM 1480: Bad Hair and Big Pants
Back to the garage! Jeff will help you with your puppy. Put that Peeler away. That is not your dolphin. Naked orange statue fetches some sweet cheddar. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1479: Stick That in Your Pepper Potts
Get out of my garage! Who's gonna drive you home tonight? 600k gone like that! Now THAT's a lunch break. Trade you your leftovers for beer. The moon can't be real, can it? Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1478: Moist Little Chocolatey Ball
Just as Avenging the second time. Don't forget your poncho. Your wife is delicious. Good old fashion toilet blessing. Put his finger on it! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1477: Welcome To The Bung House
Gross, he's swimmin in his underwear! TMS Vegas Recap! Where did you take the tree? Rats as big as burritos! Don't save me! Wasp vs Spider. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1475: A Fire Under My Cheese
How's your MCU knowledge? Dog Barf is fun for the whole family. That's a lot of tacos. No more testicle festival for you. Roosters have eyes too, you know. Leave the food on the plain! Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1474: Gimmie a tablespoon of Horse
Kratos is in again! Old no more. Sex in Smallville! Do not throw rocks please. I like smelly turtles. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1473: Bad Form Ketchup
Pet problems. Tim Allen and Tracy Morgan walk into a bar. Sliced Ketchup is coming. Bad Haircuts! Sorry abou the plane, here's some coin. App Time! Mitzula Vegas Prep and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1472: No Judgies
I think he's been suckin power! Salty Brian is a Sleepy Brian. The Queen lost one of her own. Smells like death in Alabama! How come your suckers have sugar? You are about to get less comfortable on a plane! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1471: Kimchi Stink
Put Kimchi on everything, even your smart home! Firewood is racist. Baboons got out of the joint! Got stuck in the pit! Pizza Man was armed to the teeth! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1470: Algorithmic Hoo-Hah
Playing cards done fast! How to hack a casino in 1 easy step! Guy got done swollered by a hippo. Take your trash out naked! I think the mice are stoned. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1469: Blerpnerp
Now it all makes sense. Hong Kong brain goes missing! Want a spider on your burger? I like turtles. Zuckerberg's eyeballs are turning heads. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1468 PM: Virgin Arnold Palmer
Eat up big boy! How much for the murdering? NASA shoots for the moon! Garfield is your waiter. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1467: How deep are you bags?
Gotta get out the vote! A reversal of fortune! I got ALL your teeth. Kevin Smith wants his own Stan Lee cameo. Are you impressed now Taylor Swift? Lose weight at Chipotle! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1466: Tiny Bats
I was player one and I was ready. Is that your old monkey? Here, use these tiny bats. Star Wars caused 9/11. TJ Miller was set up the bomb. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1465: Types of Stereos
There's a fly in my show. We are the worst, I mean the best. Dogs lie to your faces. That cocaine just blew in here, officer! You are drinking a lot of plastic. Call Now! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1464: Cats are Hard
That is NOT the right food. Blockbuster is weird now. That cat is so dumb. I said all the cupcakes you have. Dirty dirty house. That's an old bubble. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1463: Gotta see this animal
Bad combo in the car. Nice doll! Have this bucket. Who took my pepperoni? That rabbit had it coming. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1462: Sonic Bong
Eggs, gays and rap! Are you my real dad? Sonics stop smoking weed every day. Whats with the pickle jar. Learn how to drive! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1461: Cosmo Go Go
Game's not for me, but it is anyway. Reddit gets new. Walmart gets picky about magazines. Ozzy will help determine your destiny. World's largest Furby organ. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1460: Personal Wax Man
A little less noise with my eggs please. Snorting Condoms are hot right now! Sleeping with the dead. Never been a worse time to be a clown. Wanna buy an amish dude. I judge your undies guilty! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS PM 1459: The Family Cloth
On the road again. Bad food or new kid. Pass the family cloth! That worm's days are numbered! Knuckles crack and we don't know why. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1458: Milk Money
What does it mean? Player one was not ready. Got milk money yet? Worst tip ever. This snow tastes like orange. Driving on the Fry Way. Therapy Thursdays and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1457: Lot of the funs
Do not drink the juice. Uber guy is bad at Uber. White House gets all Disney and stuff. I never order anything. Your echo is really confused. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1456: Burrito Bomb
I think the breath is better. Can you light spaghetti on fire? Hotdogs are indeed sandwiches. Hot burrito or sister grenade. The one statue you dont want to bid on. Making Things with bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1455: Pancake Lord 666
I have an ace up my sleeve! I have biker's crotch! That rocket guy finally did it! Jesus held up a pizza hut. I want my 30 cheeseburgers! See, told ya he was real. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1454: What's that building, Captain America?
Avengers has a BIG problem. I'll take a cheeseburger for the horse. I thought you was a dog! T-Rex catches fire! Oh well, guess we gotta go to porn hub. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1453: Skimmin' The Meats
Arbys done took my money! Brian gives you just the tip! Wrong sandwich! We all have drugs! That's a lot of crickets! Time Travel is real! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1452: Your DNS sucks
How many hot wings can you eat in one sitting. Your DNA sucks so get out of my apartment. Don't use bees for that! Get the sandwich right, losers! That's a whole lot of florida man in one story! Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1451: Too Much Breakfast
How many flakes can I have? Are we scary lookin? There was NOT an orgy. Something nasty on that beach. When Burger King comes to you. Those oils jack up your boobs. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1450: Hello, Mr. Tobasco!
Well that was a weird weekend. Hmmm, fresh puppy. Mr Tabasco is ugly! Ikea is gross! You can't catch Pokemon with a tire iron! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1449: Reddit It
Old dog, new tricks! No more Chipotle for me! Reddit lets you get away with it. Aliens are probably hacking us right now. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1448: Dinner Later
Should not eat this late. Can't drive....any speed. United does it yet again! You are drinking plastic! Hmmm...Oates. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1447: Space Force!
Let's all join the space force! Hey there, dr feelgood. I feel like punching United. Do you have a license for that? Give me all the oatmeal and condoms you got. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1446: Lame Duck
I really don't want this egg. Someone stop the beeping! You smashed my fiddle! Hmmmm...old Colorado cereal. Drug the kids, work the abs. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1445: Lay on this leg
You didn't throw away your....shot. Turns out I am actually a leg man! Don't use a severed leg for a pillow. Russell Crowe is clearing it all out. Costco has you covered for end times. This guy doth protest WAY too much. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS PM 1444: So long, Shkreli!
Naked guy followup! 7 years for Shkreli! Take down your ten hours of static. Oh yeah, well here's some pee! Dangerfield's bottle of sweat gets no respect. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1443: Cokeahol
Everyone has a grumpy cat. Coke wants you to chill out in Japan. The Bully Bus! Amazon Echo's are laughing at you for no reason. Don't keep driving your stolen car. Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1442: Boob Bar
I made food and it was ok. Dear Lawyers, here's a boob! Eating boogs is good for you! Dad punishment is the best punishment. Shaq says happy birthday with phat stacks of cash! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1441: No Cheese
Saw it, and now I can't unsee it. Always farm together. Ben has a record, and Jerry must be embarrassed. Big Cheese has no cheese! The Dictionary gets dumber every day. Naked and flyin! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1440: Biggest Macs
Oscar came in here and left a stain! Just one more Big Mac! You're gonna love this lady, Brian. I am my own twin! The Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMSPM 1439: Knife Party
Oh look who's back! What will Oscar do for you? Gotta get some dank Jeff Sesh. Your condoms are too small. There's a Jason in the lake! Frozen with nudity! App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1438: Hearthstumped
Taco Tuesday! How much do I really know about Hearthstone? Chopped Cat is gross! United passenger get out of the plane! The pope hires a bunch of new exorcists! Elevator pee equals karma. What is this place? Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1437: Dun The Way
Are the olympics over already? I literally tattooed everything. Simpsons did it! Vegas says leave your pot here. The cat is in the disposall! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1436: Pics or maybe it did happen!
Spontaneously intolerant! It would be better if I was. Don't joke about me! Pics and it did happen! From Barbie to toilets! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1435: How sad, now where's the pole.
The books of my teens. No more funeral strippers! Let me just dry my underwear. Two kids, one ticket. Then I will just have to TAKE the camera. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1434: Drink the WHOLE thing!
We're all soldiers now. Canada has a hum problem. How fast can you drink your ketchup? Watch out for the invisible walls! Man, yer goat is high. Making things with bill! Jury duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1433: Drug Goats
Brian is now a baked bean. Why does this thing do that? Goats love drugs! Wakanda is not real! KFC ran out of chicken! Something weird with those cookies. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1432: Not without my purse
We have a full report from inside the closet. Who sat on the pledge?? You should not be in the xray machine, lady. Get free pizza for a year...at a price. Nothing going on with the naked guy. Therapy Thursdays and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1431: Hyper Piper
Time Traveling is fun! Elk vs Helicopter! The man from 2030! How were the Chilli Pipers? Sorry I'm late, now give me my gold. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1430: Car, no mayo
The plague is here. A nice warm splash to start your day. Die with convenience. We're gonna need a bigger boat! Canada lady is so nice it almost hurts. Please don't smear mayo on my car. Making Things with Bill. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1429: Generous Tip
Taco Tuesday every day. Would Jesus leave a tip? Virgin with a baby! Crypto scammers take off! Oxford adds some seriously dumb words to the dictionary. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1428 PM: Bye, Pebbles...
I heard you found my bottle! Rectum, damn near killed em. The door done falled off! Flushing your emotions. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1427: Larry the Hutt
About all that cat licking. That tiger is fake! Don't wax my kid's eyebrows! Dogs on pony equals end times. Geese will get us one way or another. Call Now and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1426: Eyeballs
2 times was not the charm. That flat earth guy went nowhere again. How much for the engagement burger? Go to the Super Bowl, get robbed. I offer up these eyeballs for a sacrifice. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1425: Drunk Fishing
Drunk Fishing is still fishing. I got curry in my eyes! Baldness cure is here! Doritos are controversial! Yale students say wait, let me take a selfie. Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1424: Bad Scenario by Proxy
Great game or best game? Vegas with the boy! Now THAT's a virus! The King of Kong is probably not that anymore. Pizza in the morning is good for you. Girl Scouts know what's up. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1423: Let's a go!
What if we got a REAL mario movie? Quick, everyone get out of the school! That's not something for Goodwill. Get the peacock off the plane, lady. Well that must have been an awkward meeting. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1422: Pornington Bear
That is a lot of new words ya got there! How many plumbers does it take? Someone's gotta pay for those gems. Enjoy Pornington Bear, kids! How much for a yodelling degree? Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1421: Cat feet!
Cat feet can be really gross. Time to be tested again! That MRI is gonna getcha! Cryptic Currency strikes again. It's the Bead-O-Pocolypse! That's a musky 15 million. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1420: Friends are hard
There were definitely dungeons. There should have been four Billboards. KFC takes a new stab! Elon wants to sell you a flame thrower. Twinner Twinner chicken dinner! That is a lot of beads. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1419: 50 Cent is half a dollar
When do you know you have a problem! How much do you want your Nutella. Jessica Simpson done got sued! 50 Cent forgot how rich he was. Cow finds new friends in a Bison herd. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1418: Camel Botox
Sleepwalking is bad enough. Test my knowledge! Even Camels need botox. Tasty tasty Tide Pods. Barney can teach you a couple things. Jimmy Johns makes everyone sick again. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1417: Burrito Pipe
There will be dungeons! We don't have burritos here! I forgot my password. Amazon probably did the right thing. No more cheese rollin! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1416: Nominate THIS!
And the nominations are. Sad day in Teletubby land. I think that might not be a meteor. Mowing the lawn for the world. Make pole climbing hard again. Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1415: Private Smoke
The cat always wins. Pour one out for the Taco Bell. Did someone order some Razzie-Berries? I don't think cops are supposed to do that. Hands off my grilled cheese! Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1414: Hot Chickens
Drone guy in the neighborhood! Pokemon day was fun! Chickens like it hot! Texas Judge takes it too far. Delta says no more! What's that wiggling out of your butt? App Time! Dan Dan The Table Top Man! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1413: Lethal Sausage
Pornhub has some quality stats on Hawaii emergency response. Nintendo doing what Nintendont. That's one lethal sausage! Chick Nugget fans needed! China kids are way into cat snorting. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1412: Peanut Butter and Mail
I have really smelly mail. Mystery solved! 13 kids in the basement! How much for the Pony Penis? That crazy crash in california. China wants to space laser everything. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1411: Meet Deckard
I saved Deckard from a life of servitude. Let's play a little game! OJ says trust him on this one. Smells like burning mail. Eat dirt and live longer. Do I really have to pee on it? Making things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1410: Escaping the Room
Esports and Pizza! I escaped the room! Major Spoilers! The Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1409: Harvey Slapper
The dominos keep falling. Then I will have to TAKE THE URINAL! Harvey done got slapped. Are you ready for some Tacos? This christmas tree sucks. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1408: Snoopy Burger
Say it aint so, Stan! I was right about Marcos, wasn't I. Snoopy poopy poop burger. You're not supposed to eat that. A little dab will do you. Viagra can cause all sorts of uprisings. Tom's Tech Time. Recommentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1407: The Glorbs
The Gloobin Glarbs happened. Dat pizza is jank, yo. Jack in the box and snoop dog together at last. That's the worst napkin I ever ate. No dabbing on the field. Major Spoilers! Trek Nerd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS PM 1406: Just the siding
Two dogs are bad for me! That white noise is racist! Captains and Flight Attendants gettin it on! Take that, Chickens! That's a very white unit. App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....


TMS 1405: Peak Cave
This... is The Morning Stream for Thursday, January 4th 2018. After winning battles against unfiltered water, ketchup packets and Russian sewers, our heroes now find themselves dangling over the edge of a cliff, suspended only by a piece of rope. Will our heroes be able to untie themselves in time? And what did Wendi find in Ghost Peak Cave? Find out on another thrilling episode of The Morning Stream!...

TMS 1404: William H. Gacey
My dog might be broken. Adult diapers, check! Those bum drugs are not mine! Hey baby, put out THIS fire. New Jersey bans home baked goods. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1403: Here, have a new year
What did you order again? Delta gets taken down by a tiny bird. How many days at Chipotle can you handle? How many cars can a kid steal? Screaming at robot presidents. Making Things with Bill and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS PM 1402: Cougar Bags
That is a very cold puzzle you got there. The things you find in Vegas. Burn the passports! Is Pepsi in a empty field ok? App Time! Your Twitter questions and more on this episode of TMSPM....

TMS 1401: Harvey Keitel's Nipple
Bono almost died! My time with a giant nipple. Burn all the pot! Amazon does not want you doing your own briss. The benefits of being married gay! Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....

TMS 1400: Lube the Tracks
How does lube work? Santa wants to sue me! That was not big enough for me! How did a shampoo bottle get up there? Do not want these gifts. Tom's Tech Time! Recomentals and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....


TMS 1399: Ugly UFO
Two times is the charm. I smell like Vegas. Never open that! Indiana Mom strikes again! Del Toro throws shade on UFO's. 911 is not your plaything! Making Things with Bill! Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream....